Lonely

Simple update

2012-02-13T00:48:00.000+11:00

After the long yet boring post, I shall now write something light. Hmm, may be a very brief report of my days, although they were dull as usual.

I had learned a precious lesson in my life this holidays. It will be another long and grumbling post so I should not share it here. Back to the topic, the dull life circulates itself each day. Eating, watching dramas, online , sleep and sometimes enjoy reading my novels, hardly get out of my room. I'd do some research on how to handle a digital SLR and also trying out my photoshop skills. But still way to go, my art skills are awful. May be some of you might think that this life is just horrible, so lifeless but to me is kinda perfect, I mean relax while I enjoy what I am doing.

After 4 days of doing nothing, finally I decided to do something great. To clean up my room. Frankly, I hardly vacuum my room for the past 6 months, because I just don't like the process of cleaning. Can you imagine the dust and ... Oops, I better say nothing. I know, as a girl I should've clean up my room more frequently and this and that. Duhh, as long as my bed is comfort and my desk is tidy, that's more than enough la.

Ohh, forget to mention that the application to be peer mentor was REJECTED. Damn it, but may be I am not yet suitable to be one of them and yes improvements are needed. I'll definitely apply it if they have recruitment again. And seriously I don't know why I feel so tired, couldn't sleep well and damn tired during day time. Are these the symptoms of overstress ?! Duhh, the process of waiting result is just damn HELL. Worst is that the results will determine whether I can start my year 2. It appears to be very scary to me as I don't know how to accept the truth and keep moving on. I don't know since when I became such negative minded person, but those unwanted outcomes just can't stop popping out of my mind.

C'mon I should enjoy this holidays to the max before I start my cow life again.

Hope for the best and prepare for the worst, so be strong.

Counting down the days to face the truth : 4 more days

Disappointed

2012-02-11T19:34:00.001+11:00

Is a long yet lame post, so better don't read if not you might regret.

Have you watched the latest video online about the chicken issue? Yes, chicken but fried chicken la. Nonono, don't get me wrong, I ain't going to talk anything on behalf that issue because it is just none of my business. The rights and wrongs are not for us to judge. Whenever there's people, there will be conflicts around regardless races, ethnics, religions or even nationality. But I found this so shameful, as the whole world is now watching these people fighting just because of one social issue (I assume that this kinda social issue is very common in every country). This one "small" societal issue had now been elevated to a big racism issue underlying a multi-cultural society.

This is definitely a sad case, as there's one slogan One Malaysia to unite all the races after 50 years of independent or something. They wasted gigantic amount of money to make it works and hope that we can live harmony under one nation. That was the ONE and ONLY essay writing competition that I ever participated during my high school, this was the topic. Guess what, I won a consolation prize first in my life time. Of course, I do hope that what I written can be realised one day. Yes, hypnotizing myself it is not something unapproachable , it is not a mission impossible because we have the slogan since 1990s, We Can !

Unfortunately, it is just a far cry from what is happening now in the society. There were lots of so-called racism issues posted in both Facebook and Youtube all the time, but I just couldn't care less la. The more I read the posts or comments, the more time I wasted and the more I get angry. Lolz, what is the use of it getting mad each time, harsh and at each others. This time was a bit different, it related to a franchise company and I wanted to know the outcome of this case so eagerly, like more a drama series may be. I went through some or most of the comments in FB and Youtube la. Some supports the workers and some support the customers, that's fairly normal, that's why we have debates and everything. Remind you again, it was an Consumers vs Workers issue, not an issue of Chinese vs Malays. But lots of people don't get this right. The saddest heart-breaking part, I think was when I saw the comments where the racist people stated "Cina balik Cina ... " in youtube which incited the emotions of the people including me as well. Ahaha, they are still the same, this seems to be their favourite quote ever.

I was so depressed after reading all these comments. The leader of the country was promoting the slogan "One Malaysia", and did all the things to realised it just to show how united we are. Something like we are one, regardless of races, not chinese, not malays, no indians but Malaysians. But then see what's happening actually, huh ?! All the racist comments all around just because of one small social issue. The unity among the people is just so fragile. Is this all about One Malaysia, I ponder. After 55th years of independence, we chinese and indians are still penumpang in their eyes huh. That's the outcome of a project of spending 38millions ?! I don't know, I am lost, I've no idea on what's going on. I was born and raised here, we claimed ourselves as Malaysian if not why the hell we need One Malaysia.

Okay, don't discuss about the historical part. How about the growing of the country ? Don't you think that every single person in the country at least contributed something, once again regardless races. May be we are not the rich one who contributed lots of money for the progression of the country's economy. But how about the teachers, they are the one who educates the young. Without them a country without education system is not considered growing, without them we are still in a very uncivilised situation. I think everyone plays a very important roles no matter what ethnics or religions we are in. But why they still couldn't accept us as a part of the country ? Why they still ask us to back to our origins when our passport are exactly the same ? A small particular tiny issue managed to destroy the integrity that was built in these years ? These are all about effort done for kids in school Civics and Moral subjects and One Malaysia done for the whole nation.

Well actions speak louder than words. Seriously, we need to wait till these racists people stop all their foolish actions and then only the slogan is consider effective. But I think is kinda mission impossible duhh. *hopeless*
C'mon people, please be more open minded and think twice before you speak or act.

不要以自己的标准来评价别人，也不要戴着有色眼镜看人。因为每个人都有自己的喜好和个性以及人生价值。你看不惯的事情，并不是不好。借用一句话：生物的种类逐渐减少，而人的种类再逐渐增多。无论什么人或事物，存在既是合理的。你不必看不惯，要学会用欣赏的目光来看待世界。

=Sorry for all the grammatical error and poor vocabs used. I am just trying to express my feeling, and is just my two cents. =

Hooray !

2012-02-08T00:53:00.000+11:00

Hooray, the final exam is officially over ! Ohh, I did it , at least managed to stay alive. This time was slightly different, no special feeling but it was kinda complicated though. No excitement when I handed in my paper, but there's lots of questions left behind. Tons of worries which will accompany me for these 2 weeks I think.

Everything were alright for Finance and Acc 1B, at least Distinction for both of them or should I wish for high achievement. Although I don't have the perfect feeling like what I did for Acc 1A but that's not a worry, as long as I tried my best. However, the things that bother me the most is Management. I've no idea what will it be. I don't want to flunk this subject but can't help, my mind just can't stop thinking the outcome like "what if ...". Nonono, I just wanna pass this subject. I pray I play and I pray again. It is horrible to take this subject again. *finger-crossed* Pray hard for me.

So leave everything behind. Is party time !!! Duhh, do you think I'll really rock my days. Nayy, I will just stay at home and rot. Forget to mention that I am asked to go for an interview for the peer mentor program 2moro. Hopefully they hire me la. Bur frankly , I eagerly want to join them so that I've something to do this holidays.

Will update more as I mentioned in my previous post that I've lots of things to say or criticise may be !!!

告诉自己：再苦再累，只要坚持往前走，属于你的风景终会出现；只要是自己选择的，那就无怨无悔，青春一经典当，永远无法赎回；过去只可以用来回忆，别沉迷在它的阴影中，否则永远看不清前面的路；不要期望所有人都懂你，你也没必要去懂所有人；聚散离合是人生的规律，无须伤春悲秋。

Jessie J - Nobody's Perfect - Lyrics - HD

2012-02-05T13:41:00.000+11:00

Random update

2012-02-05T01:04:00.000+11:00

How time flies and is now February. Still finding ways to survive during exam period. But somehow I feel like I already finish the last paper or even like graduated from uni. Lolz, in my dream may be. Yay, after this Monday I will be set free for 2 weeks. I've too many things to blog and too complicated feelings to express. Should do it during this break. In the meantime, I still can't find any part time job. Sighh, so I planned to redecorate and of course clean my room. Imagine that, 2 weeks of unwashed clothes, books and papers all around and of course dust. Just can't wait to enter uni Year 2 for some particular reasons but it depends on this final exam. Hopefully everything goes smoothly as I wished especially Management. Seriously I dun wanna flunk my whole semester just because of this subject. Arghh. *finger-crossed*

Other people may not have had high expectations for me... but I had high expectations for myself. - Rui En

Breathe

2012-01-31T17:16:00.000+11:00

Stress caused me so breathless, seriously this is the first time I feel so lost.

Lost in a way that I don't even know what to study based on the exam scope given.

The materials were so disorder and chaos that I don't even know which one should I prepare.

May be this is all about study in university.

Complicated life.

I have no idea what should I include in my pink sheet, shyt may be.

And I keep on asking myself, why should I choose such a strict lecturer. Duhh, thou I really learn a lot.

But I hope she can be more lenient, at least give me a pass please.

I don't wanna flunk this subject.

My brain is blank, no idea what to blog.

I should've continue my studies, no more complains perhaps.

Bless me, pray hard.

“I am only in competition with myself, no one else. To continually compare yourself with others is incredibly destructive. My only goal is to keep pushing myself to grow as a person." ----Rui En

Don't you think she's cute yet cool ?! Gotta learn from her, the never give up attitude.

Short post for CNY 2012

2012-01-27T15:21:00.000+11:00

Happy belated Chinese New Year everyone.

Goshh, first time celebrating CNY without family and even attended classes during CNY.

I sounded so pathetic right. Yea, but having great time to chat with them through skype this CNY.

Yeap, can't wait for CNY to come again. I will be at home next year no matter how !!!

I really wanted so much to write some long posts but time doesn't allow me to do so.

Sighh, final exam for first year final sem gonna commence soon.

So I need to work like real hard so that all the hard work and stayed overseas alone could be paid off.

Dream high, may be. But that's not my style. But I do hope everything will be fine ...

Bless me.

心是一个人的翅膀，心有多大，世界就有多大。很多时候限制我们的，不是周遭的环境，也不是他人的言行，而是我们自己。看不开、忘不了、放不下，把自己囚禁在灰暗的记忆里；不敢想、不自信、不行动，把自己局限在固定的空间里……如果不能打破心的禁锢，即使给你整个天空，你也找不到自由的感觉。

Presentation

2012-01-20T03:15:00.000+11:00

18.01.2012. Hooray, finally I'm done with it. And I was so freaking happy for the entire day...

I'd mentioned a lots that how much I hate Management subject in my previous posts. Wasting of my time and money, yet doing nothing in class as I always say. But somehow, I started to change my mind towards my lecturer. May be I might not the knowledge of the subject in class, but I do learn a lot on the reality of life and some important knowledge that I will never get it from the books. Although the classes are still irritating, but I really change my stand la, on how she judge things and the way she analyse things. I can't deny that my lecturer is a very smart person, that's why she always feel proud of herself. *showingoffnonstop* Somehow she really inspired me a lot, at least she broaden our thinking.

Back to the topic, it was now week 12, time for group to present. She set all the rules and regulations for the presentation. And she did mentioned that she failed a lot of people each sem , hardly any group get HD for the presentation. How should I describe the presentation process? Disaster, nightmare or may be catastrophe. Yes, they are. Suffered from stress badly since week 5 when the presentation started. The feeling of anxiety was hardly describe by words. It became worst when we knew that she failed 2 groups in a day. OMG !

We met up on one of the weekend to carry out our group discussion. Though it was tiring, but everyone tried the best to contribute something. Ermm, may be I was the most useless fellow in the group. Haha ! In a nutshell, this group discussion was the one and only group discussion that I ever joined , that seems to be successful. We managed to complete half of our work in one afternoon, which was a really great achievement as the normal group discussion will end up doing nothing. We did chat a lot during the discussion to know more about each other this and that.

And finally the day had come. Due to the over-stressed, we even make those funny jokes on how she might stop us in the middle of the presentation. "Nonono, that's not I want. That's crap, that's rubbish. You're like a banana ..." These are all her favourite quote when she stopped someone during the presentation. We had damn lots of fun before the presentation, which I found it effective to ease our stress. But once we stepped in to the class, we were tensed up while praying hard those "funny things" would not ever happen. I was the one who start and end the presentation. While we were presenting, she ain't looking good. Her facial expression told us like we did not do a very great job. Sighhh, we were so disheartened but as long as she did not stop us la !

As usual she dismissed the class then talked to us. We were so discouraged, because we thought that we were going to face the music, as she criticises these and that. But she didn't, what a surprise ! She just had a normal chat with normal volume and asking the frequent questions. Woww, that's something that really comfort us but still we did not hope for the sky la as long as we get like at least 70 then we will be satisfied dy la. After asking those questions, she started to tell us like which part she likes the most, which part we can still improve and what kinda actual situation we might facing in the future.

Finally, she showed us our marks ! Duhh, she was so damn excited when she told us our marks. But non of us dare to show our true colours in front of her, we held our emotional and remain peaceful yet calm in front of her. And she tried again to make us feel happy ( actually we can even touch the moon la, the feeling at the moment was like ) ! Do you remember what I'd stated above ? For most she will only gives out 2 HD (marks of 85 our of 100) each semester. One of the group from other classes got the marks this sem. LOL, then one of my teammate said that she just wanna finish her quota, that's why she rewards us the mark. Haha funny ! We were shouting like a banana, congratulating each others and cheering here and there. This feeling was just so fabulous as it was out of our expectation.

Frankly, I really hate to work in a group since in Ausmat. But this is uni life right, so I am forced to get used of it. So I did most of the things by my own in ACBE group work assignment with friends, or should I state them as close fren in uni. And I need to share the same marks with them, but actually I couldn't care less la. At least I learn something each time I did things. I am not trying to be sarcastic but just wanna express the feeling of disappointment la. I was quite worried initially as I am very afraid to work with the ppl I don't know, especially those ppl who come from great country.But thankfully, I met them. We only know each others for less than 12 weeks, but the spirit of teamwork and togetherness were there at least. Yes, really glad to know them. Somehow, I really wish these friendships would last more than one semester. It is really hard to know someone that in the right channel and even worst to keep a friendship.

As a conclusion, this was the very first time I worked happily in a group and score the highest marks for assignment so far. Therefore, I would like to express my sincere appreciation to my fellow teammates, Jing, Winfred and Kelvin. Thank you so much, you guys shine my day =)

Time

2012-01-11T01:19:00.000+11:00

Oops, it has been a while since I last updated my blog. Sorry for not updating ! Not to anyone but myself as I promised, I will try to blog more to record the bits and bites that I encounter in my nineteen life.

Seriously, I am sucks in time managing. Procrastinating suits me the best ! Time is what we want the most, but what we use the worst, don't you agree with it. Haiz, I am only taking 3 subjects per semester, and I find myself will be ended in the Lala Land like soon. How am I going to survive in Year 2 with 4 subjects per semester and of course with a part time job. Goshh, I need some changes, if not I will die of exhaustion before the end of the world.

Changes. I need a daily timetable for myself. But the main point is, will I follow it and how long can it lasts ?! I wondered.

I gotta off to bed.

陳豪林保怡黃德斌 - 年少無知

2012-01-04T22:32:00.001+11:00

年少無知
電視劇【天與地】片尾曲
主唱：林保怡．陳豪．黃德斌
作曲：黃貫中
填詞：林若寧

林：年少多好　頑劣多好
不甘安於封建制度裡迷信上街真理會達到
旗幟高舉　群眾聲討
不惜犧牲一切去上訴權貴的想法太俗套
只可惜生活是一堆挫折　只可惜生命是必須妥協

陳：年少多好　貧困多好
一蚊積蓄足以快樂到廉價結他抒發我暴躁
財富得到　年歲不保
捐輸不必講究有回報人世間總會有異數
只可惜生活是一聲發洩只可惜生命是一聲抱歉怕追討

合：如果命運能選擇十字街口你我踏出的每步更瀟灑
如果活著能坦白舊日所相信價值不必接受時代的糟蹋

黃：年少多好　朋友多好
一番爭執不會有被告遊戲競爭不會記入腦
年歲增長　無法修補
青春的詩總會老　時間多恐怖

合：如果命運能選擇十字街口你我踏出的每步無用困惑
如果活著能坦白舊日所相信價值今天發現還未老
如果命運能演習現實中不致接納一生每步殘酷抉擇
留守過去的想法我會否好像這樣生於世上無目的鞭撻

最近喜欢上这首歌曲，认为歌词写得非常好，非常有意思，很贴切人生。
PS. 陈先生唱歌真的很难听，真的不明白为什么监制要找一个唱歌那么难听的人来演一个自弹自唱的吉他手@,@

Happy 2012 !!!

2012-01-01T14:16:00.003+11:00

Happy New Year everyone !!!
The very first post of 2012 =]

New year, New resolution BUT I'm still me.
Definitely gotta make some changes this year.
No more procrastination, No more laziness,
and NO more idiotic friends in my life.

Cheer up for my 2nd year of UNI,
Stay strong while things getting tougher ...
Hopefully GPA above 3.7 will not be a mission impossible !
And remember to smile always =)

Hope everything goes well.
And of course wish all my family members and relatives stay healthy and have a wonderful year ahead !
Not to forget, enjoy life while it lasts my dear friends.
Once again, Happy 2012 !!!

Fireworks in Sydney 2012.

新年在即, 当下快乐。过去的都过去了, 未来的还未来, 现在的也刚刚过去, 那些抓也抓不住的 (才是真的)。今年我要, 活得有意义一些, 精彩一些, 去完成心里想做的, 感情生活而无悔。- quote from WeeHan

Jessie J - Who You Are

2011-12-31T18:30:00.002+11:00

I stare at my reflection in the mirror:
"Why am I doing this to myself?"
Losing my mind on a tiny error,
I nearly left the real me on the shelf.
No, no, no, no, no...

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are!
(who you are [x11])

Brushing my hair, do I look perfect?
I forgot what to do to fit the mold, yeah!
The more I try the less it's working, yeah
'Cause everything inside me screams
No, no, no, no, no...

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
But tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
There's nothing wrong with who you are!

Yes, no's, egos, fake shows, like WHOA!
Just go, and leave me alone!
Real talk, real life, good love, goodnight,
With a smile, that's my home!
That's my home, no...

No, no, no, no, no...
Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay...
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are!
Yeah yeah yeah

A song by Jessie J before 2012. Can't stop playing it for days and nights. Shall learn to sing and memorise the lyrics =]

That night

2011-12-31T18:22:00.001+11:00

When I was young, my mom, family and relatives used to tell me, stay away from those drunkard if possible, don't ever be friend with those people. But I'll never think of this day, the most ever awful occasion ever in my life time may be. An unforgettable yet unpleasant occasion to describe the night.

As I posted in my Facebook status : Dear people, if you can't drink, please don't pretend ! Is just so sucks ~ WTF

They failed to plan, that's why they plan to fail. The best ever quote to describe these bunches of people. They failed to inform the right time and the right place and nevertheless they failed to invite someone ended up with some lies. Duhh, wondered WTH these people were so childish that they can't even speak the truth.

There were 12 of us, 5 girls and 7 guys for that night. First time having formal chinese food as birthday celebration, seems really weird to me. And they were having meal in Parramatta, where I used to live. Sighh, if not I'll definitely leave the crowd after the meal. The food was just so so. Actually, it did not fulfil our stomach as the food was served in a really slow path. Of course not forget to mention about how crazy these people were. They started to drink with an empty stomach. Though it was only red wine but at least have some responsibility to yourself and your friends please. As they get high, they started to go round the table for cheers. Each fellow was asked to drink with the rest of the crowd, and each time with half cup of wine per person. Don't you think they're mad ! They went round and round and round.

Random pics before dinner

The most important thing was they FORCED me to drink. Do you think I will ?! Even you force me with a knife, I will never drink in a public because I'd know my own limit. BUT I failed at yelling and shouting at them as they're nearly drunk. So finally I even need to say that if I drink, I might end up in the hospital. Can you bear with the consequences, then only they set me free ! See how idiotic these people are. Still, they need me to mention these lines whenever they approached me. WTF !

In a nutshell, after the meal only 2 girls and 3 guys were clearly awake. Lots of them were drunk and can't even walked a straight line. And the main point was the birthday man was totally drunk like a banana. Shout, yell and did whatever he likes. Sighh, we were like having the full obligation to take care and them and their personal belongings. Yet need to carry all the leftover food and the cakes along. While leaving the restaurant, the drunkard even lost his control and almost walked out of the heavy traffic road. Can you imagine the situation and 2 girls were shouting like a nuts ... I swear, this will be the one and only situation in my life time. Then waited for them to finalise where to sing Karaoke, Eastwood or Parramatta. Then waited again for everyone to leave the restaurant.

I was asked to arrange and settle the karaoke payments. Oops, I was so stressed as I was carrying someone else's money. And here came another sad case, the dishonesty of the worker in the karaoke. We paid $200 for the karaoke session but the actual price was only $160. Since the chaotic situation, the worker DID NOT GIVE BACK OUR CHANGE !!! I was really pissed off by all the drunkard and I only found out when we wanna changed the location and asked for refund. She even twisted her words, blame that it was our fault to her manager so that we could not get back our money. WTF, why this kinda working attitudes exist here, can't stop blaming the chinese again pathetic right ! The three guys needed to find the drunkards' car. So we wasted almost ONE HOUR waiting on the road side in Parramatta. If I am now staying in my own house, I'll leave everything aside and definitely go back with no doubt. BUT too bad, I am not. Only thing to do was to bear with the situation and held my breathe. Can you imagine how two girls deal with bunches of drunkard ?! Talking all bunches of craps and all the stupid things ... I think I was drunk after talking too much with them.

Finally we arrived at Eastwood Karaoke at 1030pm. The old fashion karaoke again that I went there few months ago. Depressed when I get there, but still I need to hold my breathe as it was paid by them. The big disappointment will be there's no Listen by Beyonce Says. Duhh, we even practised it at home, but too bad we can show our talent ! Hehe, actually I'm the one who lead the song out of tune, so talent definitely not from me. See how serious we are and how much we love the song. Then I sang Bleeding Love. Actually it was dedicated to someone, but since she did not get what I meant (her situation) , so just forget about it. This will probably the last time I sang this to her. Then sitting alone in a corner, emo non-stop. Some ideas popped out of my mind. Yes, I should follow my minds.

Again, I was asked to sing Empire State of Mind. Duhh, actually we only know how to sing the chorus part, New York ... concrete jungle where dreams were made of ... New York. Surprisingly, we still get tonnes of applause. I was then not feeling well, so planned not to sing. But then they found Just the way you're in the Korean song section. But I was away to toilet, only managed to sing quarter of the song. So before we left, we sing another hit song, Because of You by Kelly Clarkson. Teheee, awesome one but I was actually out of tune as everyone knows. LOL. Only arrived home at 130am.

Then started my game session and releasing stress session. Jenny sleepover in Ara's house again. We chatted till 5am, we can even see the sunrise. Duhh, seriously my eyes were exactly looked like panda now.

每个人在成长中都会受很多伤，会哭泣悲伤，会觉得痛。许多事情，总是在经历过后才明白。痛过了，便坚强了；跨过了，便成熟了；傻过了，便懂得了适时的珍惜与放弃。总是在失去了什么，才能学会珍惜什么；总是在碰了壁，才能学会改变什么，放弃什么；总是在疼过之后，才能学会做一个全新的自己。

简单

2011-12-27T23:47:00.001+11:00

其实朋友的定义是什么，一直纠缠不清，我苦恼。

但是今天所收到的一句简单的问候，附带生日的祝福语（虽然12天前才是我的生日），足以打动我。真的，真的很窝心，感觉很温暖。这种感觉不是说开心就笑，而是打从心里笑出来的。她是我在小五时候认识的。曾经是我在小学时后很要好的朋友，甚至互称为死党。到了初中，我们都仍然保持联络，每天还是一大群同学有说有笑的。

一直到升高中了以后，由于不同科系，我理，她文。加上认识的同学像parallel line一样，完全互不相干的。久而久之，我们的话题愈来愈少。原本还可以搭上三两句，之后剩下的只是简单的一句问候Hi和Bye。虽然偶尔咱们都有在Facebook上聊天，但是这种感觉很模糊、很虚幻。这种抓摸不了的感觉，更让我感到空虚。我以为以后在路上要么一句hi不然真的就成为了陌路人，互不相识。

我以为，我真的以为，这就是我们友谊的终点。谢谢你，证明我错了！做功课的当儿，跟姨丈聊天。聊完了以后又弹出chat box，还以为是姨丈长气。谁知道，就是这个认识了8年的同学为我送上迟来的生日祝福！我的心，顿时很温暖。回复了她一句：哈哈，已经是12天之前的事了啦（其实我是想说，她那么有心，还为我送上祝福）。她还连忙解释说，家里最近办喜事，加上期末考，所以忙得上网的时间也没有了！

或许你会认为这只是件很普通的事，打开FB就可以看见朋友的生日日期。不过就在我生日前，我已经把生日日期给隐藏了。她往年都是以简讯来祝福我的，现在毕竟她没有我澳洲的手提号码，所以这简单的祝福，已经胜过一切一切。等我回国时可以出来喝喝茶，聚会（其实心里在想，那么多年没聊天加上不见面，在担心有什么可以说的，很怕冷场），不过还是期待那天的到来！

2009 年，毕业前的合照。

祝福你，玉玲，我的老同学。期末考加油，前程似锦！

Boxing Day

2011-12-27T18:13:00.004+11:00

After staying at home for more than three days, I started to feel bored. Seriously, I've got nothing to do at home, ~~except I've tonnes of homeworks and revisions to be done.~~ Sighhh. The Lazy Song mode is on this holidays, really don't feel like doing anything and I am really laying on my bed everyday as I've no desk to write on.

The day I was looking forward to, finally here ! Yay, say yes to Boxing Day =] As everyone knows that Boxing Day is the best for shopping as the gifts leftover from the xmas seasons , these and that are now all for SALE. After thinking for days, finally I decided to follow my fren to shopping in the city ! *I'm not shopaholic, just to experience the feeling* According to the plan, we need to wake up by 530am and then arrive the train station on foot by 615am. ZOMG.

As I posted in Facebook : Huh woke up early in the morning, even walked from house to station , JUST FOR THE SAKE OF SHOPPING on Boxing Day !!!

Okay, since I've got nothing to do plus the internet down, so no point staying at home. Follow the crowd will be the best choice. Arrived the city about 700 am if not mistaken. The crowd, the people were not as horrible as what my fren described. It was still acceptable as I thought on my way to Myer. Then, here it came the chaotic situation. The perfumes department was still acceptable, I assumed the discount was not as great as others. When I saw the sunglasses hut and the watches department, I nearly stunned. The things were like FOC, I assumed. So I started to check the price round by round, brand by brand. Huh, I don't find any cheap stuffs there, not about the brand , I mean the price ! The discounted prices were still over $70 for a pair of sunglasses. Then the watches department were surrounded by lots of people. DKNY watches were only $50 !!! Errmm, since I am looking for a nice watch, I'll definitely join the crowd. The discounted watch was quite okay, just that was still not my style (May be in 2 or 3 years time). And I don't wanna have the watch like everybody else. Duhh, I still want a watch for a teenager. So I gave up for that ! While I was going round, I found that other watches were still expansive. They might even raise the prices. I like one of the Casio- Baby G watch so much. I even google and make some researches for the watch. The price on Boxing Day were just heavenly expansive. The Swarovski booth were exaggerated, with extremely long queue. I don't know what's going on.

Can you see the queue ?!

We then left Myer and went to David Jones. On the way, I saw the Swarovski shop. The line was double the size in Myer. The first thought was : wahh, these people semua so kaya one ar !!! Second thought that I observed, the crowd were mainly Asian, only 3 westerner. DJ's crowd wasn't as horrible as Myer but when I visited the clothing department, I nearly wanna go bac. Haha, I could not even find a place to stand. As I am not too interested in those branded stuffs, so I just looking around. Guess what, I can't even name the brand. LMAO, really not my taste la.

Then we also passed by those branded shops la. The queues were almost the same like Swarovski. Gucci , Louis Vuitton , Burberry and of course Prada shops were people mountain people sea. Those chinese sipek love these brand ar. Even your attire were all branded stuffs, if you have no moral and basic courtesy, you're still nothing lor !!! *Plus a big shame on you, blekk*

In front of Burberry ... Were almost the same for all the LUXURY BRAND.

When I was shopping with my cousins, they bought those girly stuffs from Forever 21 these and that. I acclaimed that they were expansive and not my style *I was wearing only jeans+ t-shirts that time* Now when I wanted so much to shop on these girly stuffs, my fren brought me to the luxurious department. *Thou I am still wearing jeans+ t-shirts, BUT they are NOW acceptable*. Some might think that I might shop for luxury goods for the coming years, I can tell you NOT TO WORRY. No matter how much I changed, I am still me.* Duhh, may be with brand but definitely not everything with Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Prada, Tommy Hilfiger or anything that I labelled them luxury. I'd prefer NORMAL GOODS more than anything. Tehee, my mom should be proud of me as I am not brand concious. I'd save a lot on these kinda stuffs =)

My friend and her sister were worrying about me as I shopped for nothing. I followed them for the sake of taking experience and of course enjoying the boxing day feel. Just went shop to shop to check out the shoes I wanted, Vans. Actually I haven't make up mind, either for Vans or Converse. But either one, I just wanted a pair of comfortable shoes. Since the prices are almost the same, so I decided not to buy it first.

As I posted in Facebook : In a nutshell, I get myself a polo-t and 2 blisters on my toes for Boxing Day ...

Left city about 1pm. It's really exhausted even though I am not shopping. This would probably be my first and also last Boxing Day in Australia. Haha, I prefer to shop using ringgit la !!!

不要总是在乎别人做什么，多做一下自己的事情最重要；不要总在看人家的动态，就算你再累，人家也不理会；不要老是缠着别人。人家会说：你不累.我还累；不要随便怨恨别人，人家早等着抱怨你怎么办；不要总是估量自己在别人心中的地位，活在别人的眼神里，就等于失去了自我。人，要做一个独立的自我！

Sleepover Night

2011-12-26T23:04:00.000+11:00

Continue : The Pre-Christmas celebration night ...

After dismissed from the so called Pre-Christmas celebration night, all the girls went back together by train. Surprisingly, it was FOC. *Not surprise actually,just that I am not a late night outing person* Then we waited in the taxi station like a group of mad girls. As that time was nearly 12am, there's hardly any taxi available. We called to book a Maxi Cab as we had 6 people. Due to someone's obtuse, we waited ~~patiently~~ for about 30 minutes. But actually there were no Maxi available when I called to reconfirm our booking again, estimation time remain unknown . Under this circumstance, we had no choice. So we ended up taking 2 taxis back home.

Yay, welcome to the Ladies World. Location was my fren's place which is also the studio that I am staying at the moment. So my things were there, I was the most lucky one with bed, blanket and of course pillows. For courtesy purpose, I needed to share my bed with one of my fren *Four bodies on the floor*. Sighh, missed the moment of taking funny yet memorable photos with them. Lining up for shower and for clothes changing. And then we started our never-ending-chat.

Tadaa, someone started it with a sorrow topic if not mistaken. In the middle of the talks, we had our gift exchanged session. Kinda disappointed as they set the budget $30-$50 but the gifts were all gift boxes that only were less than $35. LOL ! Well, appreciate what I've for the moment right ! *~~No complains~~*So kinda happy as I received a Bee Bustle gift set. Yay, at least something that's natural and guarantee that I can apply on my skin.

Three packets of instant noodles can really make girls and ladies feel happy. You know why I said girls and ladies ?! Hehe, because our group age are ranked from 19-26. I personally think that there's no boundaries between us, but the eldest don't think so. Sometimes just really fuck up by her tidak apa attitude as she forgot to bring along the gift for exchanged, was late for the dinner or I should just conclude it as never punctual yet no responsibilities. Back to the topic, we started to get tired while we were chatting.

We discussed on the culture differences. Then based on the perspectives on views, ranked Family, Friends, Love, Money and Health in ascending order. Duhh, some idiot ranked Love on number one at first ehh, then changed her view after we started to convince her. If you know me well, you will definitely know how's my ranking like! Then everyone started to lay on the bed and some even dozed off while chatting. We then focussed on love issue, personal problems and all sorts of ordinary ladies topics la. I was so hyperactive that night. My mind worked actively at the time of 4am. Only three of us, the eldest and the 2 youngest were still awake. Random topics and some ahem ahem story by someone was being told.

Hmm, it had been a year since I left Sunway, never share a room/ bed like this. Lynn, I miss you ! I miss 'sleeping' with you LOL. But this definitely a more lively one as there's six of us in a so called studio. We are getting closer each time we get know more about each one. Even though I know them for more than 10 months, but I think we still need some times to be like a close friend in life. Indeed, I never believe this kinda things as friends do betray us anytime, regardless to situation, time or place. This is just a reminder I made to remind myself.

We woke up about 1030am the next day. These sleepover was just too short. *Oops I am so greedy* Best quote : Poor men wanna be rich, rich men wanna be kings, kings wanna be GOD. Having korean rice cake a.k.a topokki for brunch. Heavenly nice as I fell in love with it since I tasted it 4 months ago. My favourite Korean food like seriously. After having meal, we chat for a little while more before they left about 1pm. The house remained silent after all. Great, finally my mouth can take a deep breathe and have some rest. You know what , I chatted non-stop since 230pm to 430am on that day ! The only pause might be in the Karaoke room where I don't know which songs should I sing and feel so damn emo as the songs were all outdated ! Then my mouth started actively again =)

The best experience I ever encountered so far I think. Thank you for all ladies and girls that gave me such a memorable experience filled with joys, laughter and cheers.

No photos were taken as we were too tired but our mouth can still talk LOL !

Christmas Eve Night 2011

2011-12-26T18:50:00.001+11:00

那么多年以来，每逢圣诞节自己总是一个人，在家面对着电脑，倒数度过的。

反正已经习惯了，所以对圣诞也没有什么特别的感觉。反正在家里，就算没有庆祝，粗茶淡饭的，就感觉很淡定。然而在这既普通又特别的2011年，我很“庆幸”的可以在悉尼这边庆祝圣诞。这个圣诞姑姑不在家；而我就被逼暂住在同学家。原本的我对这个繁华的城市满怀着幻想，幻想西洋国家庆祝圣诞会是什么模样，期待着那浓浓的xmas气氛。美中不足的只是，它并非是个白色圣诞。不过相比之下，今年的圣诞已经是近10年以来最凉快的了。

除了圣诞布置比较精致，物价比较便宜以外，其实这个圣诞并没有什么特别。在马来西亚，我更有机会在mall里听见动听悦耳的圣诞歌曲，感受圣诞的气氛。

圣诞除夕夜晚没有跟同学狂欢，各自个的在家倒数。一个个都很闷搔对吧，无可救药！当晚有点emo，加上耐不着寂寞，就找了Lynn。兴致勃勃之下，两个人就这样开始以Skype聊天了。除了在Facebook上联系，已经不知道多久没有和她聊天，多久没有一起八卦，多久多久没有一起嘻嘻哈哈了。这些是让人最快乐，也是让人最怀念的。聊着聊着，就踏入了圣诞之夜。简简单单的一声Merry Christmas就足以一切一切。毕竟这些跟我一起经历过时间和人生考验的朋友，我有把握，是一辈子的朋友。至少这些朋友不会为了所谓的利益和自私而出卖或是利用我们。也许只是我个人的想法，但，至少我知道 I'm not alone。

The warmest xmas ever, may be !

谢谢你陪我度过一个愉快的Christmas Eve Night。等我回家了，网络和作息恢复正常时，我们俩再来痛痛快快地聊天！Take Care AND enjoy your summer holidays, xoxo ! Miss ya !!!

Hehe, wish everyone a belated Merry Christmas. Have a prosperous year ahead =]

Early Christmas Celebration

2011-12-24T21:38:00.000+11:00

Sometimes I don't even know how to express myself. I am just so lost.

Had an early christmas celebration with my uni-mates. Frankly, the feeling was just so so. Twelve of us, 7 girls with 5 boys. Worst than what I expected, but it was pretty better than the previous outing. Unfortunately, there weren't any christmas feeling. Not even one xmas song, how sad. But still, I couldn't stop asking myself, WTH I wanna join such a gang when I can't even find any feeling of belongingness. Started to regret after having meal and again once I arrived KTV.

Some people might think that it will be my own problem as I could not join the crowd. Personality sounds everything. They drink, they smoke, they talk like a gangster or even get drunk and talk like an idiot. Anyhow will you feel comfortable when you walk together with them. They answer will definitely be NO WAY ! Acquaintances in my life. May be, may be I really can't bare with the loneliness. Just want to break the ice, I don't want to have a lonely xmas celebration anymore so I joined.

In this so called "party", we'd found out these guys are not gentlemen at all. It might be as expected if you know their nationality. LOL. And I personal reckon that these girls are too open sometimes. You could not assume or predict WTH would happen if everyone get drunks. Get my point ?!

Had the same meal again as usual and then went to Eastwood for Karaoke session. The KTV was better than the first one, but still not the latest songs. Neither Katy Perry, Taylor Swift nor Bruno Mars. There's only one Adele's song, Someone Like You. But still I don't have the chance to sing it, as some asshole miss-deleted my songs. Sang 'Listen' with Ara, and now only I realised how awful my voice are. Thou awful, thou not nice , somehow I feel much more better to release tension as the song described my feeling. I am not good in singing at all. Besides that, thanks Jenny for accompanying me the whole night. We are the youngest among the crowd, and only both of us are not drinking. So we were the mic holder for the whole night.

Again and again, I miss my high schoolmates like so much. For that moment, I wished I can sing K with them again. We have the same tastes, the same feel , like we share almost everything, LOL. Seems like I only enjoy singing K with them, that we can act and shout like a sakkai.

The night was short and it ain't perfect. Some of them had some troubles in between. But who cares, seriously they were non of my business. Procrastination will be the best word to describe may be. They drunk and they yelled like a banana. Some went out half way while we were singing to talk about their secret. That's alright, they were releasing their tension, like how we did through singing. But the worst part was 10 people wait for a yet-to-be couple, settling their personal matter.

So the overall comment for the night is just so so. Having fun but there're dissatisfactions. May be my expectation were just too high. As a conclusion, is this considered christmas celebration ? I laughed.

To be continue with sleepover night ...

Kelly Clarkson - Mr. Know It All

2011-12-24T14:17:00.000+11:00

Today is Christmas Eve.

As usual, I will be countdown-ing and celebrating alone at home.

Nothing special, I ma still rotting at home.

Erm, they only different might be, is not my own home, is my fren's home.

*Thought this year will be celebrating with frens and have a never ends party.*

Oops my wish was just too over =_=

Xmas celebration were over, may be is time for me to look forward for NEW YEAR 2O12 =)

Hmm, still finding ways to fulfil my xmas wishlist.

The feeling of emptiness :(

All by myself

2011-12-24T00:17:00.000+11:00

"All By Myself"

When I was young
I never needed anyone
And making love was just for fun
Those days are gone
Livin' alone
I think of all the friends I've known
When I dial the telephone
Nobody's home

All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore

Hard to be sure
Sometimes I feel so insecure
And loves so distant and obscure
Remains the cure

All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live
All by myself
Anymore

When I was young
I never needed anyone
Making love was just for fun
Those days are gone

All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live
Oh
Don't wanna live
By myself, by myself
Anymore
By myself
Anymore
Oh
All by myself
Don't wanna live
I never, never, never
Needed anyone

Happy Birthday =]

2011-12-23T15:31:00.001+11:00

Dear friend,

Happy Birthday !
I'd tried to call you last night when the clock struck twelve, but my phone was running out of credit for that moment. So I couldn't wish you =_= Since you told me before that you dislike people wishing you in Facebook plus spamming your wall, so I decided to wish you here, LOL !

I'd hope you can recover from whatever illness that you're suffering. May be mental to physical and to what else ?! Hahaha, I know it ain't sound funny in your mind. Every human being will definitely encounter with some problems, not a matter of how severe they are as long as you've the right thoughts. Wish you can achieve your dreams while treasuring life.

Once again, Happy Birthday my dear friend, Yni a.k.a bikini. Have a blast and a memorable 19th =)

Your friend,
Wenji

PS. Can find me any time if you need me, xoxo !

Happy Birthday to myself !

2011-12-15T01:11:00.000+11:00

I'm now officially nineteen.

Oops getting older.

Just to wish myself Happy Birthday =]

and happy always !

Hope every bad things stop here and luck will bind me all around the year.

Today will definitely be a good good day.

Will write more 2moro if I've time, till then.

原来没有人记得，当然也不需要去在意，去记得...

Barriers

2011-12-14T23:40:00.000+11:00

Had three tests in a week did not sound any good to me and the results as well. But then I've no choice, just to follow the instruction given by the stupid institution.

Okay, I can sense that I did poorly in these tests and of course the marks will be so damn horrible. Hmm, my brain could not function to the max when I am sick. But of course I can't deny I burnt the midnight oil again. Yea, of course I am not blaming or giving any excuse such as I was sick, that's the reason why I could not do well. I'd three tests in a week, I could not do my best for three of them. Well, I think that's the typical type of excuse given by elementary school students may be. So stop giving myself any excuse. This would probably be the best slap to wake myself up from the wonderful fairytale story. Many teachers or lecturers told me that I've the right attitude towards studies, but so sorry to tell them I've no determination. Although they said, attitude worth more than everything but when it comes to something, results still represent everything for most of the people.

Lots of people in my class thought that I am smart. LOL, should I be proud of it. Seriously who cares this bits ! But I am here to tell you the truth, I am neither smart nor hardworking, so please don't bark in front of me to show off how great you are. I've no interest in your glorious stories. Too many tasks to accomplish, because I am just way too far from a good student. Self improvement, hopefully you can last ! I definitely need to buck up my studies, not to defeat others but myself. Too many distractions that pull my attention away. I am so poor, I can't even pay attention. This line might be the best to explain my situation.

So no more childish excuses in life. Time to grow up =)

Overcoming barriers is hard, but I do believe I can !!!!

Weather

2011-12-07T22:55:00.001+11:00

How should I describe the weather in Sydney recently ?! Hmm, abnormal is the only word that I can think of.

We started to feel the hot sunny sun at the end of winter. So everyone thought that we will be having an early summer this year. Retailers and shops starting to sell the summer clothes before the winter ends. Can't wait for the summer to come. People started to wear summer clothing once spring started as the weather were extremely hot for few weeks. The hottest in spring was 38 degree celcius. But surprisingly after the heat wave, the temperature took a plunged as it was raining non-stop.

After 2 weeks, it's still raining. We are now entering december, summer month !!! And the temperature is at the range of 15-21 degree celcius everyday. Katy Perry's song : Hot and cold will definitely suit our situation. Ermm, is this summer or autumn. Winter has come and gone but why we feel like winter is coming ?! These few days were freaking cold that we even need to dig out our winter clothes to keep ourselves warm. Is this a sign of how serious global warming has brought to our planet ?

Haha, not intend to talk much on global warming. The main point I wanna affirm is due to the extremely change of weather lots of people are sick recently. For me, I am sick again as I only recovered last weekend. You know why I am sick again ?! Because my lecturers are sick, spreading the virus and bacteria while they were teaching. So sometimes is not that our antibodies are not strong enough, just that the situation that make things worst. Gahh, the weather is so unstable during my exam, and that's the reason why I am always sick before or during exam/ tests. The worst thing in this week : Having 3 tests in a week and I am sick !!!

Dare not utter a word to complain the cold weather, as I sense thatt the summer might be extremely hot this year. Seriously, I don't wanna be sick any more !!!

Sorry for the bad english, I am not in the condition. Just for the sake of updating ...

Changing my template

2011-12-03T19:12:00.001+11:00

Yea, after years, I'm here to change my blogger background. Actually I wanted to change it since last year, just that I could not find any suitable one. I had no choice, the only way was to use bac the original one. I really get bored with the old template that I've been using. So I decided to create my own template to welcome this blissful month. This template might not be perfectly nice, but I changed it for the sake of changing. Seems to be purplish, hehe, one of m favourite colours. Hopefully I am able to get inspire and create another template soon. December will be a wonderful month, it will be, will be.

You're welcome to comment and critique my blog's new look.

我是个俗人，开心就笑、伤心就哭；喜欢就说喜欢、不喜欢就说不喜欢。我是个俗人，我有自己的想法、看法、做法，不像有些贵人，有自己的看法，不说；有自己的做法，不做。我是个俗人，但我喜欢努力，我不喜欢与人相比，但是我喜欢超越自己。我是个俗人，我努力，我骄傲，我自豪。

Ain't good

2011-11-28T01:02:00.002+11:00

Life seems doom recently. Everyone looks so tired, overwhelming with stress.

Non-stop test, assignment and assessment really drive me breathless. If I didn't take Mangament, my life would be more comfortable or may be I change my lecture class, my life will be different. Sighh, we have more workloads just to grant the same marks. Yet, I am having kinda "holidays mood" so this make my life worsen. I might not that busy, but it really makes me stress. Sometimes, I can't even sleep well. And the line "I'm just so stupid" always pop up my mind. Though I try my best to prove that I'm not, but sometimes I fail to do so.

Kinda satisfied for the first test of each subjects. I hope I can accomplish better marks for the coming tests or at least maintain the level. Dream high, yea, the feeling is driving me insane. Having 3 tests in a week, 2 tests and 1 mid-term. It doesn't sound any good. How I wish the day will never arrive. C'mon give me the kick to start my revision and of course the power to remember plus memorise the knowledge gained.

Yesterday was really a bad day. Thou it was only a small matter, but it destroyed my mood for the whole day. Moody and emo. Depressed like hell and I even forgotten how to smile. I feel so sorry to make myself down. But I really hate this kinda situation when ppl misunderstood me and pretended that they know me very well. Can I explain everything by myself but not you by assuming. That's probably the con of caring too much. I learnt something new today, when you don't feel like speaking, just pretend that you hear nothing. I don't know whether it is a right choice, but at least I held my tears. May be I've no say to my life, and I should've accept it. Hopefully sleep can heal me from this kinda sucks feeling ...

I've lots of things to say but I don't even know how should I express myself.

不管你现在是一个人走在异乡的街道上始终没有找到一丝归属感，还是你在跟朋友们一起吃饭开心地笑着的时候闪过一丝落寞。不管你现在是在努力着去实现梦想却没能拉近与梦想的距离，还是你已经慢慢地找不到自己的梦想了。你都要去相信，没有到不了的明天。

李佳薇煎熬

2011-11-25T22:33:00.000+11:00

Yea, the MV of this song is horrible, terribly awful.

But I can't resist myself from listening to it.

This will be the best version ever LOL ~

Just that sometimes the horrible scene will appear in my mind ...

Nice song, support Jess Lee.

Forensic Heroes

2011-11-22T00:56:00.004+11:00

A post that came across my mind and I can't stop myself from thinking about it.

法证先锋3终于圆满落幕了。一个从一开始我就不怎么享受，不怎么期待也不看好的电视剧，到结束的这一集原来一切还是没有改变的。其实法证1是我初中时候的最爱，看了至少有4次吧，所以到现在我依然历历在目。

因为第一部大受欢迎，所以tvb就借助那个气势，趁机会推出了第二部，法证先锋2。加入了新演员、加入了新角色，郑嘉颖Ivan 和佘诗曼Mdm Ma，原本的以为此剧将会再次的让人刻骨铭心，谁知道换来的除了失望还是失望。一部以法证为名但却以警察为主查案的电视剧，真的叫人抓狂。加上那些案件已经不再精彩，完全没有吸引力。除了主角们比较给力以外，真的找不到再好的借口去安抚自己。

去年tvb的台庆剧~刑警，跟法证先锋1旗鼓相当，同样是剧情紧凑，案件也很吸引观众。至少剧情可以让剧迷们伤脑筋，猜个够的。当时已对法证系列心死了，所以听见要推出法证3时，没有特别的兴奋，只希望不要再次的扫兴！不过当知道我最爱的欧阳正华Tim Sir, 蒙嘉慧 Mdm Leung 和林文龙Ah Sam不再参与法证3的时候，我的心如刀割。埃，真的摸不着头脑为什么他们不干脆改剧名，反正人事已非。除了接受，还是必须接受，就看一看一代视后和视帝，如何带领新一代小生花旦查案，擦出火花。

早在这剧播出街的时候我已经想写下这一切，但是经过了考虑，认为那是很不公平、很不理性的事，所以最终决定以平常心去观赏这一部剧，然后再做出评论。其实也没有什么多说的，只是看到一些无理又无聊的评论，我认为有必要说出我的看点，言论自由的社会嘛。其实也没有所谓的对与错，只是看你站在哪个观点而已。由于我还停留在Tim Sir的那个年代，所以始终觉得Pro Sir的角色不到位，很多时候念对白觉得有点不顺畅。然而Mandy呢，很久没看她的剧了，所以很专心的欣赏的她的演技。Ada和wind的这对情侣，也许很多人说是亮点，但是我觉得还是以剧里的案件为主啦。不过通过此剧，真的可以看见这两位和eva的努力演出，演技进步了。

这套剧中还有两个配角，那就是angle和ken。有人说angle演得很好，演技突飞猛进，还因此如为了最佳女角色奖。或许说了我的个人观点后的，很多人会认为那是我对她的偏见，那是我自己心里不平衡。Well，is up to you., that's my perspectives of view. Take it or leave it, if you don't like it, just leave my page. 我认为她这个角色其实没有什么好发挥的，每一集对白甚至不超过7句，主要是负责念那些scientific terms。说得难听点，就是因为其他人都念不了，所以把戏份都给了她。之后又看见一大堆的留言说她死的那一幕很感动，演得很好。好了，这些就不批评那么多了，免得遭来杀身之祸LOL！但是麻烦各位大大，想一想如果她在剧中不死，又有几个人会留意angle的存在呢？！很明显啦，这个是tbb借助她和陈先生拍拖的气势，想捧红她。不过，这未免太over了？！她老几阿，好歹也必须问过像陈敏芝和胡定欣那些出道10年，默默耕耘的花旦们啊！个人认为她还是专心苦练演技啦，不要整天搏出绯闻新闻啦！

Oops，有点离题了。法证先锋3的案件还是和法证2一样，未有突破，未能勾人心弦，叫人难忘。出现的还是一般的警匪片的案件，只是加入了法证人员查案的手法。其实省略了这些，我们还是很快的就猜出真凶了，所以说到尾这只是多此一举而已。觉得法证3能那么红有那么好的口碑，都是因为有很给力的演员还有很多很多的宣传，盛事出击捧红了它。

在我心目中，法证1还是the best，现在看见plastic bag和小丑都会想起里面的案件，真叫人怀念。当然，我还是tvb的忠实粉丝，毕竟tvb陪我一同长大，见证我从幼儿园到大学的成长！！！

The above are just my two cents point of view. So sorry if I happened to insult anyone in this post. I am just trying to express my personal feeling, no particular offense to anyone including the artist that I've mentioned. If you haven't watch the drama, why don't have a look at it and tell me how you feel. Till then. Have a pleasant day =)

慢慢地发觉自己的中文退步了，英语写作能力又不到家，真是郁闷！

Work hard

2011-11-21T01:28:00.001+11:00

Frankly, I was deeply impressed by lots of people these few days. Erm, may be it might not sound any special as I am easily get impressed by someone elses. I could not command in fluent english, poor sentences structure with bad grammar, this would probably be the reasons why I meant to have low self-esteem and confident. I did not mean to grumble or complain, just that I know where I am standing, I know my own level. Woww, sounds like I know myself very well. I don't think I am able to compete in this globalisation era.

I don't feel comfortable anyhow to speak in a public, or even to a stranger. Erm, may be presentations in class were exceptional cases because they're all international students that speak like me. So due to my selfishness I would rather choose to speak dialect or mandarin to them than english. From my view, I at least can improve them and may be I might able to maintain my english level so that I will never pollute by them. You're not in my socks, I guess you won't understand my situation and how I feel. May be I've posted lots of posts on this, sorry if I ever make you feel asleep.

It is a very stressful case to me as I'm studying in a western country, but my language skills have ways more to improve. I feel so bad when I speak to angmo. Yet, I feel so disgrace when I read through my friends, cousins' blog. They were all well written in english and full of description. See, you can easily notice the differences right ! My writing is just as plain as a glass of water, tasteless yet boring. Yea, I think a twelve years old kid can write better than me ( I'm not trying to exaggerate my weakness). So what kinda emotional should I have ?! Shameful ~ Finally I admit that I broke my promise again, no reading for the past one month. No new vocab learn so far, so how am I going to improve ?! I don't want to be eliminated by the world, I don't wanna stay at this point forever, I wanna improve, at least to be a better man. Ohh and I forget to mention that I sacrificed one piece of my vocab paper to kill a extremely huge cockroach last midnight. May be those words should be considered learnt right ?! LOL ~

So should I agree if my coursemates ever ask me to speak english to them again ?! Though I usually speak english to my korean friend and sometimes I do try my best to say whatever I intend to say without her understanding. Is so freaking tired to explain sentences by sentences, meaning by meaning. Worst is when there's some funny jokes to share with, the jokes will end up no longer funny yet LAME. So I really don;t know when they will come across such lousy things again. Ermm, no longer one or two sentences, they meant to be the whole conservation for now and ever. OMG . Hopefully my vocab can still retain at this basic kindergarten level. Pray for me =)

Thousand miles begins with a single steps, no hesitate I think I should start right NOW ! Mission to accomplish : learn at least 10 words in this very first week ( Well, I think it is very easy as I don't understand lots of words) ~ LOL !!!

I'll try to express my thoughts with experiences regarding to the importance of teaching science and maths in english in school in my coming posts.

= 从今天起，做一个简单的人，踏实务实。不沉溺幻想，不庸人自扰。要快乐，要开朗，要坚韧，要温暖，对人要真诚。要诚恳，要坦然，要慷慨，要宽容，要有平常心。永远对生活充满希望，对于困境与磨难，微笑面对。多看书，看好书。少吃点，吃好点。要有梦想，即使遥远。 =

Annoyed

2011-11-18T23:30:00.007+11:00

As I posted in my Facebook, it might sound dumb to you, but yet it is just true to me.

Dear Management lecturer,

Can you try to focus more on the content of the subject, rather than discussing about the workforces to be in the lecture and tutorial classes. I know and understand what you said, Management is to prepare us for the future workforce, nothing to do with theories. Is a process of getting ready to work so that we know how to behave when we get there. Therefore, we are asked to do our own revision for it. That's fine, I mean sounds reasonable as it is part of our responsibilities as a student. But well, in order to join the workforce, we need to graduate from degree at least. To continue my study life, at least I need to pass the subject possible with good grade. I mean it is really frustrated when I did my own revision since everything looks so NEW to me. Not that I did not attend lecture classes, and pay attention in class. When I need to explore all the knowledge and understand by myself before the exam seems to be the end of the day to me. So why don't you spend more time on the content of the subject. And let us explore the workforce when we are there, and then explore every single pieces by ourselves. Don't you think that it will be much more valuable than everything you teach in class.It's kinda time wasting when I learn nothing yet need to pay attention to all sort of craps. Goshh, we still need to sit for the test ...

And the life is never fair. Every student has to only participate in one assignment, while for our class, we need to do them six. Sighh, is this life ? FYI, each article has got about 20-30 pages thick with all alien words that we hardly understand. Shit man, life sucks ! If we did not do our part means fail. So what to do ? Pretend like a dog, barks whenever you ask us to do so. It ain't an easy job to do the article. And we're not taking only one subject in this sem. I've no idea, what hell will it be. Life is hard. Pray hard , I merely want a credit for it only ...

Your student that used to "fishing" in class.

=I guess there's something wrong with my blogger, this is the only size that I'm able to use @,@=

Report of the week !

2011-11-12T01:31:00.000+11:00

This was the end of week 3 of my third semester. Time really flies. This situation gone worst as student usually get lazy/lazier and then slow down their path since we already work so hard for the whole year right ! But then this year will be so different for me, gotta study even in December, my summer holidays. Hopefully I am able to go through this stage. Yes, take it as a challenge and I know I am definitely able to defeat it !!!

Frankly speaking, other than Finance class, I don't know WTH I am learning so far. Yea, especially Management class. The lecturer used to crap a lot in class and we tend to fish in class. I just don't like her seriously. Had my accounting diagnosis test today, seems pretty well. Hopefully it won't turn out to be disappointment. Then having management test on coming Wed and continue by Finance in Friday. This is only the beginning, life gone worst day by day. Just wondering what to revise for management, the content told in class were totally different from the textbook yet the test. FML !

Another thing to mention, I sent out quite a lot of resume in order to secure a part time job. But then I don't even get a reply till today. I was quite confident when I applied for those jobs as I have the language power that people don't. After thinking for some moment, I realised that I am not special at all. Yea, I can speak a better english compare to the chinese and then I can speak mandarin and cantonese. Hongkee people do can speak them all so this proved that I am just nothing. Talking about malay, hakka and hokkien, do you think I can use them here ?! LOL ~ I just wanna earn some money so that I can spend them all on Boxing Day.

Study hard, I really hope to score well in these test ...

I miss these chairs, that I usually dislike to sit on it in secondary school ...

我怀念的不是哪个人，而是我那回不去的曾经，突然很想跟自己说声对不起，对不起再也找不回原来的自己了。

错过

2011-11-06T00:35:00.000+11:00

这几天的心情真矛盾。当快乐遇上了悲伤，当兴奋遇上了失落，此时此刻的感觉除了矛盾还是矛盾！

刚获知Bernice要去大马的时候，我的心情是多么的澎湃，满怀着期望。不过当知晓自己并不身在大马时，那种跌入谷底的感觉，真的一点都不好受！之后开始慢慢接受了与Bernice无言的事实，若无其事。因为不在场，所以有必要帮忙宣传那个活动，希望当天会有更多的人到现场去支持！由于时间上有更改，所以前几天发现了就帖了个消息在微薄！

之后心情就一直未能平复。首先是Bernice的助手,CYN在我微薄留言，说期待当天可以见到我们。哟，当时我的心情high得不得了。不过几分钟之后才醒悟，那不可能实现的事实！然后一个新马的艺人王爱玲在马开了间餐馆，手痒痒之下又留言了。想不到的是，她竟然回复我了！哎，我也想快点回国，去试一下她那间餐馆。希望我回去时，那间餐馆还会有在啦！

这种矛盾的心情一直未停止！之后Bernice的经理人也转发了我的微薄，叫我们必须多多去支持。最想不到的事，终于发生了！Bernice第一次转发我的微薄，竟然回复说明天见！！！So what should I react ?! Duhh!!!　哎～又是刹那的自high，然后继续矛盾。我也想见你啊，只是情况不允许而已。你知道吗？！

如果我现在放假了，在大马有多好啊！Klang和槟城的都可以去，然后去接机又可以合照。Everything seems so near yet so far. 那么珍贵一年一度的活动，我就这样错过了！伤心啊，为啥就是跟她那么没有缘分！何时再能再次的见到Bernice，完成我的心愿呢？！

没关系，我的正能量告诉我，只要学好专业、学好英文，日子就不会远了！加油！

Wishing for miracle, hope that Bernice would have visit Sydney one day ...

Lots of crap

2011-11-03T00:18:00.000+11:00

The feeling isn't any good at all, the pathetic feel ever ! Having the first lecture class with my actual Management lecturer. Struggling in class and walking out the classroom blank minded. What she teaches in class is more on conceptual, as she said prepare us to get ready for the workforce in the future. Sounds great actually, but frankly speaking, she did speak on the technique parts but just a glance through the words. A good thing and a bad thing. Can't agree more to what she said, marks is really nothing. But if we wouldn't score well, we could not score well in the gpa and then no company wanna hire us base on poor gpa. So we ended up the same thing.

Well, as how and what she said, Management is a very easy subject to pass if you follow every single piece that is told by the lecturer. Credit is a better grade if you follow everything that makes her happy. However, yea, she continued by a BUT, Distinction and High Distinction are both kinda impossible. What a big disappointment that I'd ever get. This is the reality, the norm. So what to do ?! For the sake of everything, of course I have to bear with it and try my best no matter how hard I encounter in this sem. This would probably be the one and only way. My dream of geting cgpa of 3.7 is now broken into pieces. I found myself so dumb, I mean stupid really. Why didn't I score better in STAT and my life would be much more easier and comfortable !!! Sighh, life sucks when you realise you couldn't achieve your goal in life BUT still trying all the hard work just to prof that they're wrong. What's the probability of being success ?! I've no idea.

In a nutshell, that's what I'd learnt in the Management class. Bla bla bla, then with lots of BUT. She asked us to apply it in life and work, so do I. Management, structure these and that the class is just boring and hypnotise. What a robotic life ~

So I asked myself to keep calm and carry on, no matter what happened ! S.M.I.L.E

Week 1

2011-10-31T20:17:00.000+11:00

Here comes to the end of Week one. Life seems dull, classes seem boring but at least everything sounds alright.

Having classes alone for the first week, not even one close friend having the same class with me. So this semester is for me to learn, learning either to know more friends or to be more quiet. LOL. Having classes alone don't freak me out, just that I need to get used to it. Being alienated and discriminated in class are just so normal. I look the same but just way too different from them. Frankly speaking, I just hate the way they judge me. Some are good, but some I just can't wait to ask them to keep their mouth shut. Well, I am chinese, Malaysian-Chinese, I speak your language and it is my mother tongue as well. May be I deserve it, but who cares !
Oops, I crap too much !

This sem sounds really horrible to me. Endless of tests and assessment, worst when I've to work the presentation things in a group. Week by week and then day by day. Don't even know anyone from the class, so how to form a group I wonder. *Finger-crossed* Everything will be alright ? I wish the answer will be yes. Okay, kinda lost in first week, especially when it come to dealing with maths and accounting. Duhh, my brain seemed blank and need lots of time to recall the steps and formats. Spending the weekend to recall more on logarithms and more account basics. Then spent time on the tutorial homework. Yea, I'm definitely not the smart student, need more time than normal students to finish up the homework. I don't wish to screw them up starting on week 1, so I really need to pull up my socks. Come on, I don't wanna regret again and again in the final.

“Don’t let the noise of other people’s opinions drown out your own inner voice.”

—	Steve Jobs

Bernice Liu @ Nutox 2011

2011-10-28T14:14:00.001+11:00

Great news to share ! Bernice Liu is coming to Malaysia again for NUTOX event in early of November. Don't miss out the golden opportunity to meet Bernice once a year. Please go to either KL, Ipoh or Penang to give her your support. *How I wish I will be there, sighh*

New Sem

2011-10-26T00:10:00.000+11:00

So here comes the new semester. New semester, new aspiration, a brand new me. How I wish this is true ! Actually is kinda new environment to me as well, as non of my close friends having any same class with me. It significances that is time for me to be independent and is time for me to meet more friends. Well, hope I'll be able to open my golden mouth as you know I am not that initiative whenever in meeting new friends. It sounds so pathetic right ? That's why I have no friends. LOL.

Having ACCG 101 which also known as ACC 1B today. Class started from 130pm to 530pm. Met up Ara, Jenny, Kandy and Feng in Globe Cafe before I start my class. Had a nice and simple talk with them and planned on some activities for Xmas and New Year while I was buying and selling textbooks. I managed to sell off all my books, except STAT. Waiting patiently outside the classroom and I get nervous because I thought I was late for class. That's a very common case in SIBT. The tutor is an aussie, she is kinda funny and kind. So I think I will enjoy her class.

Then when it came to the lecture class, erm , is kinda amazed. First thought that came across my mind was, he is very experienced in this subject. He looks kinda old, wrinkles on his face will tell the truth, may be around 60s plus I think. Then when he started to explain the outline, everything seemed to be alright. But was kinda bored as he spent almost 1 hour on explaining the outline. Note that all the students who are taking 1b is not new in SIBT. So we just couldn't understand why. And when he started to teach, he began to speed. Really need to spend some time to suit his teaching style, but I was hard to follow which part and where he was explaining. There's neither full-stop nor comma in his life. Worst things was we don't even have the heart to listen when he changed the slides just in a nick of time.

Just after class, I decided to give myself a chance since I planned to change the timetable actually. Thank god there's still places in the class. The same tutor, same day just that it begins one hour earlier and ends one hour earlier. I am not too sure whether this decision is right or wrong, but at least I give myself a chance. I don't wanna fall asleep again in class and feel so lose after class. I don't want this to happen anymore. Wish me luck ! Somehow, I think woman is a more caring and thoughtful than a men lecturer for accounting la. For Management, they said men lectuter is the best huh !

Now is my turn to crap lots of rubbish. Pheww 830am class 2moro, hope that I am able to be on time and of course everything goes well in management class.

我们都不是很完美的人，但我们要接受不完美的自己。在孤独的时候，给自己安慰；在寂寞的时候，给自己温暖。学会独立，告别依赖，对软弱的自己说再见。生活不是只有温暖，人生的路不会永远平坦，但只要你对自己有信心，知道自己的价值，懂的珍惜自己，世界的一切不完美，你都可以坦然面对

Life

2011-10-22T05:53:00.000+11:00

I know my following pathway would not be as smooth as the previous. This coming semester will be a tough tough one. Although only taking 3 subjects, 12 hours of class each week, but then I know I need to put more efforts in my studies. Seriously, I don't wish to see any credit in my first year result slip anymore. Another mission to accomplish is to get myself a part time job as soon as possible. Of course, never break my promise of improving english.

Life ain't easy. Yea, this line never sounds wrong. In order to get to year 2, I am asked to take Business Management. Hence, I have to change my initial plan of studying Macroeconomics. Since lots of them complained that Macro is very hard, taking macro is likely to dig its own grave. With no doubt, I changed my timetable on the spot. Two of my friends took BBA last sem, they said is kinda hard to get Distinction for it. Not again, my dream broke into pieces. Okay, that's just their two cents of mind, I will try my best.

My mind is always filled with anxiety, depression, regret and any negative emotional when I think of this - bridging course. Till now, this moment, I am not sure whether my decision to study bridging course that ease life is correct. I suppose to enter university like everyone else, having the same uni life, having the same uni breaks and exam. Frankly speaking, everything is the same just that we're having different holidays as I am forced to take 3 semester for the first year. This is one of the pros as well as cons of studying 3 semester.
Studying the same amount of subjects, just that slowing down our path as we separated them into 3 semester.

If I wasn't force to take three semester in a year. I would now started to enjoy my very long first year summer break for 4 months until next year February. That is/was my wish. There's no backspace in life, so just keep moving on. That will be a great holiday as most of my friends will having the same break as me. I would have hanging around with them, with my family, chatting lots and lots, visit my school, travelling around Msia plus visiting friends and lecturers back in Sunway. That will definitely be my desired summer break.Of course, chill myself in Msia , summer in AUS sounds scary to me !

These all fun things to do in summer break is just so far away from me. I hope I can achieve them all in summer 2012. Hopefully I don't need to do any internship that time*frustrate*, life will be worst. That's my only summer holidays left before I'm off from uni. Is so far, yet so near. Okay, back to reality.

May be this is kinda fate. I did not sit for Ielts test when I applied for uni. Yet, I scored badly for EALD (just a band lower to meet the requirement), so I was asked to do a unit called Culture and Learning. That's the reason why I am forced to do THREE semester. What a shame right ?! But what to do. Besides the referencing , summary and paraphrasing thingy, nothing much. From my bottom of heart, I've learnt a lot in this unit. If not I might fail ACBE, though I only had a credit at last. And I've know a few friends there. Don't know how long will this friendship last, but at least we still keep in touch to each others even though we're longer in the same class. As you know, I'd like to isolate myself. Thanks for their caring and loving all the while. So doing CAL is a good or bad thing ?! Seriously, I've no idea.

Life getting sucks when I think of I need to study during December. Had tuition class and some school activities before in Dec, but I think this is the first time ever, study as a full time student in December. Ouchh, is a great challenge for me. Most of the mid-term and assignments are due during that time. Ohhh no, it sounds so horrible. Hopefully I might able to get over to my friend's house to stay for 2-3 weeks. So that everything will be alright. What will be my answer of studying bridging course when I look at this aspect ?! Well, keep my answer to myself.

I hypnotize myself, everything will be all right when comes to the end. Reminding myself, since I've one more sem, I have the opportunity to learn more things as long as I use my time more wisely. I'll be having the same life when I'm in year 2. I can imagine that I'll be murmuring how hard life will be following the 'normal' schedule. Well, enjoy the moment while it lasts. Will kick start now and endure the greatness of semester 3.

Okayy, the only must-do-thing to do, pretending. Pretend that I'm studying in UK, hence I am studying while others is having their break. No CNY seems to be another sad things that I need to overcome. So unwilling to leave again, but I know is my choice and is for my own good !

Home is always the best ~
Family will never be separated thou I've a big big family !
Lots of love ♥

Is almost 3a.m now ~ The last night in my room

Chance

2011-10-17T17:17:00.000+11:00

雙腎失功能‧每週洗3次‧優秀生籌30萬換腎

吉打‧雙溪大年15日訊）大馬教育文憑考試12A優秀生梁貽寬年前被證實腎臟功能出現問題後，3個月前雙腎突然完全失去功能，必須每周洗腎3天，如今更急需30萬令吉巨款前往中國接受“腎臟移植手術”保命。

雙溪大年新民國民型中學獲悉他的處境後，發動籌款活動，希望各界給予支持。

品學兼優的梁貽寬，在2009年大馬教育文憑考試前，便因異常流鼻血狀況而察覺自己的健康出現問題，直至考完大馬教育文憑，進行全身檢查後，他才驚悉自己的腎臟功能出了問題。3個月前，醫生更發現他的雙腎已完全失去功能。

新民國中發動籌款

這名獲得公共服務獎學金的學生，因病無法應邀進行公共服務獎學金面試，結果工程師夢已告破滅。所幸，當局獲知他的狀況後，目前已保留一份“一馬獎學金”，待他完成手術後，隨時都能以此獎學金繼續學業。

梁貽寬在記者會上說，經過這段時間，他深深感受到生命誠可貴的道理。以前總以為“病死”是一個人終點所必然體驗的過程，原來生老病死並非因歲月而定。

“以前夢想是成為一名工程師，如今，我更期待自己能完成修讀中醫科系，為廣大的群眾服務。”

為讓梁貽寬得以繼續深造的夢想，新民國民型中學董家協日前召開聯席會議時，議決成立以該校董事長李惠輝為首的“梁貽寬腎臟移植手術基金”

小組，希望協助梁貽寬奮勇抗病魔。組員包括該校董事會總務魏炳成、財政梁海通，家教協會主席郭晉齊、家教協會財政趙書賢、該校校長黃惜圓及家屬代表梁永樂。

李惠輝和郭晉齊也率先宣佈各別捐助5000令吉，希望能引起拋磚引玉的效用，以身作則呼吁社會各界善長仁翁、慈善團體，慷慨解囊。另外，該校名譽董事長拿督黃榮盛也宣佈捐1萬令吉，梁貽寬母校新民小學A校家拹也即場宣佈2000令吉。

花光積蓄借錢醫兒

父親梁永裕（50歲）說，這兩年來，家人因唯一男丁不幸遭遇而到處奔波尋醫，不但本身積蓄已耗盡，而且還拖欠了數名親戚一些醫藥費。

他披露，早前為了讓兒子治病，他總共花費至少15萬令吉，所幸同事及友好給予經濟和精神上的協助和支持，他才能夠熬下去。

他也說，在直系家庭成員當中，就只有他本身的血型符合，原本願意移植其中一個腎臟給孩子，但經過數次的檢驗後，醫生勸告不適合移植，所以在不得已的情況之下，他們只好通過報章懇求各界人士的幫助。

防欺詐籌款發收據給捐款人

為免不法之徒濫用梁貽寬的新聞進行欺詐籌款，新民國民型中學家教協會主席郭晉齊特別聲明，該校並未委託任何組織到外籌款，也將會特別印製收據、特別印章給捐款人。

“任何捐助10令吉以上者，都會獲得收據，請所有捐款人務必要求拿收據，以確保捐款確實捐到梁貽寬基金會內。”

他說，令人感動的是，梁家也聲明若有關捐款超出梁貽寬所需，餘額之後將捐給其他有需要人。公眾可聯絡魏炳成（016-4366652）或梁永樂（019-4459441）詢問詳情。

另一方面，關心梁貽寬的人士，也可通過網址fireweseyley-lynx@hotmail.com為他打氣，給予鼓勵及支持。

凡有意捐款者，可通直接匯入或存入該校董事部在大眾銀行專開的戶頭（PBB A/C No：3171774720）；支票抬頭為PIBG SMSM並郵寄至該校位於Jalan Pegawai, 08000 Sungai Petani, Kedah.的地址，信封上需註明梁貽寬基金，捐獻者也可以將捐款交予該校教務處。

From 光明日报～

He's my schoolmates since primary school, but seriously I don't know him well yet I used to read his blog. To me, in my memory, he is a very hardworking guy with excellent scores in most of the exams. Is kinda pathetic when we get knew about this news but almost everyone shared this news in their facebook so that more people would help. Stay strong my dear schoolmate, we know you'll never give up. Salute his toughness to fight against illness and of course the way he judge life. Please share this message out and help him as much as you can to give him a chance to recover then to achieve his dream in life. Your tiny little help might change his life. So what are you waiting for ?! Spread the love, miracle will happen ! Cheers !!!

Hope this would help ...

Sem 2

2011-10-16T05:18:00.000+11:00

Back to the topic results for sem 2, it seems to be kinda relieved to me.

Get annoyed by the SIBT Portal and streamyx line as well. They both really sucks. The result supposed to release at 12pm noon. But then since that time, I could not even log in to the portal. As time passes, I was getting more nervous. Thank god I was chatting with Kandy through msn as that moment. We both shouted like mad dog just to release our tension. Duhh, the web and the website really screwed me up. She was able to check her result at 1245pm while my screen still showing me blank page. I couldn't even open the page at 1pm. See, what a brilliant job ?! Okay, seek help from both Kandy and Lynn. Thank you for lending me a hand while I was stuck. Oops, I am so long winded ...

Finally, I get know about my own result. My first expression was Ohh, no ... then continue like I'm gonna shed my tears really soon. But after I heard the second and third subjects, I felt much more relieved. My result was kinda as expected for Statistics, though it was really a big disappointment. But frankly speaking, I know where I'd make mistake, and I lost 10 marks there. Then is kinda satisfied score for ACBE, because it was almost a mission impossible to score Distinction and High Distinction, unless you score perfectly good in both internal and final exam. As my lecturer said, supposed to be proud to score for a credit. And hear come the most excited one. Ermm, was expected that I would score a D, but when Kandy told me I scored 82 marks, I was heavenly happy. I thought for most I was only able to get 75 marks, because my internal marks was about that too.

So after the highs and lows, I ended my day with a neutral mood. Although I was still very concerned about my STAT score, as it lower my overall performances, but at least I know that I had tried my very best. The only mission to-be-accomplish in next sem, work harder and get my desire marks.

May be I should start to pack my mood, tune it back to study mode ...

The Night

2011-10-14T05:52:00.000+11:00

Is a long long night.

Is now 2.35am in Malaysia, and 3 hours ahead in Sydney.

Waiting results to be released next day, while suffering from insomnia.

Hardly open my eyes but my mind just couldn't shut.

Imagination of all the consequences, might be and to be happened.

Thinking how and what should I react when I see my result.

How will it be, this and that ...

Excited, Satisfy, Overjoy or normal, as expected, or disappointed, regretment, discourage

Will it affect my mood after all ...

Arrghh, non-stop thinking, is just go like on and on ...

Everything remains silent yet unknown.

I don't know why I get so nervouss this time, or I just realised it today.

No matter how, I'd promised myself, will work harder for the coming sem.

I know what is my aim, my mission for now and future.

Anyone, can you please remind me when I forget what should I do and start to be nuts...

Somehow I do hope that I born nerd, so that I will study always.

God bless me!

Pray before the day yet to dawn ...

I know I wouldn't score for ACBE but for the remaining 2 subjects, please don't let me down, I beg you ...

Random

2011-10-12T04:16:00.001+11:00

I'm thinking, thinking whether should I still posting lots of crap. Ohh ya, I mean should I continue my blog. I found myself having difficulties to blog recently. Have lots of things to blog each day, but I just couldn't express myself. I think I need to improve myself, my language before I start to crap. Sounds so pathetic right, I feel the same way.

I know is a bit late for me to pick up reading novels. But is never too late right, as long as I get myself started. I need to learn more, fill up my vocab and improve the fluency of my sentences. Arghh, I am afraid, yes afraid of being catch up by all the coursemates. Will never forget why I started blogging. At first, I blogged for fun, then to express my feelings. After all, I found it to be a better way to improve myself yet to express my feelings.

Sometimes I do post it in chinese, but my chinese degraded as well after graduated from high school. Huh, not even reading chinese newspaper when I am in aus. Is kinda humiliate for me to continue blogging, LOL. Sorry people, please bear with me and my horrible language.

Any tips for improving english ?! I beg your help, please ...

我们都要记得别人对自己的好，哪怕一点点的好，也要怀在心里，当做成一种感恩和一种铭记。而这种好，不是理所应当，而是出于一种善意与爱意，即使这种好包含的不纯粹的利益成分，彼此心知肚明。把自己私心收起。虽然有时候付出和收获的不是正比，但是要坚信自己做人的根本目的：真，善，美。

Simple gathering

2011-10-10T04:32:00.001+11:00

Back to home for almost a week. Start to hope that I would have a longer sem break as I wish. Thought of skipping the first week, but I know study is the most important thing in life for now.

Okay, back to the topic. The first day in hometown seems to be bored as usual. But thanks to all my ex-classmates who turned up, I appreciate it very much. You guys brighten up my day. I would like to call this gathering as simple yet special because the people who turned up were those who seldom appear in class gathering. There were only six of us, Mako, Iris, Hao, Rui, Yni and me.

The girls ~

Yni, Iris, me and Rui. Mako left before the photo session ...

Photo taken by Rui

Girls with Hao

Photo taken by me

We started our topic on reviewing all the people in our class. Listed their names one by one and of course their current location. Some seems to be forgotten as they never turn up any gathering since we graduated. Had lots of fun when we recall each person. Gahh, I miss the precious moment in high school so much.

Then I spent most of the time chatting with Rui and Yni. Haven't meet Rui for a year. We complained a lots, mostly about our recent life. What we dislike and behtong the most and I found most of them were similar. We discovered that Yni actually changed a lot. Yea, absolutely agreed with Lynn that everyone is changing all the while. She's not the talkative type, but for now I feel the situation gone worst. She looked so emo and don't life to talk too much. Sounded so secretive to me, may be I was too sensitive because I talked too much that night.

Rui and m3

Bad photo quality due to the background light @,@

Yni and me

Really enjoyed the night that filled with simple and nice chat. Thank you once again.

Dear friends, although we are no longer studying together, but the spirit of 5.2 will never die off. Our heart are always together to achieve our dreams in life. Be brave and never give up! Best of wishes to everyone especially to Yni who will be sitting for STPM exam soon. I know you can make it, good luck !

Xoxo, miss ya !!!

朋友就是就算很久没有见面，聚会时可以无所不谈，静下来也不觉得尴尬。这就是朋友，谢谢你们！

Inspired

2011-10-09T04:58:00.000+11:00

Back to hometown almost one week.

Friends come and go all the while.

Have lots of things to blog actually but just I have no time.

Yea, thou I rust all the time at home but I am just too lazy instead of busy.

Okay I will spend more time on blogging.

Actually I am curious at the meanwhile.

I don't know where the hell I gained a kinda motivation.

Just feel like reading, reading english novel.

May be I can notice how my english level drained after few months there,

speaking cantonese and mandarin all the while.

Hmm, is a serious cases I think.

I hope this kinda motivation will last, I mean at least for me to finish a book.

Pheww, hopefully I can bring back at least 2 books so that these kinda habit will last.

And of course my final aim is to boost up my vocab.

I was amazed by my cousin sis. The way she works hard , the enthusiasm on study and the fighting spirit on her. Yes, this is the right attitude to study. Till now, I think I never work as hard as her, or even them( another cousin sis as well), this is such a shame. Inspired by them seriously. I should learn from them, not 100% but I will try as much as I can. Good luck and best wishes to both of them !!!

当白变成了黑

2011-10-06T01:14:00.003+11:00

自从4月告白那篇报道出街了以后，三五两天肯定会有擦边新闻是关系到Bernice。我佩服的是Bernice的勇气，精神。已经习惯了成为擦边绯闻新闻的她，每一次出席活动都必定会被提问到对他们的恋情有什么看法等，她都会笑着的回答，祝福他们。在苦难边缘挣扎的当儿，还需要面对大众无理的指责、批评、怒骂、甚至是诅咒。很可惜，没有人能理解她有多伤、有多痛苦，人家看见的只是说她搏同情。这些是人道？这些叫公平？

世界那么大，很多事和物我们都控制不了。唯一可以做的就是接受。或许这就是立场和看法不同所造成的结果。但是意见不一样并不表示可以或是必须人身攻击对方甚至是用粗俗的话语来侮辱对方。其实经历了那么多次的痛苦教训，我相信Bernice本人和我们大家已经看得很开了。已经学会了如何微笑、忍气吞声地去面对，尽管别人还是以闲言闲语去倾谈这件事。只可以说，我们很好，不必外人来评论。

当然，在一个言论自由的社会我们可以批评、侮辱甚至为所欲为。但是，我认为做人必须有底线，适而可止。这不就是小时候长辈们向我们灌输的人生大道理吗？你可以做，但是要懂得限制自己；你可以说，但是谨记不要over。更何况你们身为fansclub的主管，如何去以身作则阿！

很好奇，为什么每次明明无关系的报道，可以牵涉到我们，甚至可以起哄。在网络世界里，我们可以看见很多五花八门、各式各样的评语；有支持的有反对的。但是事实上，对我们来说面对武力的指责和各式各样负面的评语对我们来说已经是一种很平常的事。如果说身为粉丝的我们没有半句怨言，这肯定是是句谎言。除了上一次大家情绪波动比较大，都说出了很泄气的话语以外，之后我们貌似都平静下来了。大家都接受了事实，只要双方获得幸福，活得开心，一切是非不再重要了！

其实摸不着头脑，不明白这是什么观念。曾几何时在微薄上留言已经成为了一种战斗，为胜利，为强词夺理而搏斗的战场。说一套，做一套，貌似成为了喜好。我钦佩的是，可以把黑的说成白，白的说成灰，这个必须要多多指教。首先我想说的是，咱们家粉丝剩下几位，相信大家心里有数，可以说是寥寥无几。有些旁观者、路人甲乙丙丁等，因为看不着那些所谓的绯闻新而留言评论。对我们来说这是件好事，这证明观众的眼睛是雪亮的，就连路人们都愿意雪中送炭，说出句公道的话语，但是万万想不到这却为我们带来了横祸。从以前就一直被认定，所有给予负面的新闻就是Bernice的粉丝，来自B2 Zone。或许以前真的有，但是自从大伙儿相通了以后，再也没有人会做这些既无意义又浪费时间的事了。

才发现，原来这不是事实的全部。在完全不知道发生什么事的情况下，看见有人说被我们家的粉丝给气着了。了解了其状况之后，才发现这意见事一直未停止。在微薄可以看见很多很多难听的话语，甚至是看见了有人说bernice粉丝没有脑子、脑子坏了等，包含有人身攻击等的意思。当然可以无视的都尽量无视了，毕竟为这些小人而气着是一件很愚蠢的事。可笑的是，明明看见有人说明才不会那么低级的去讽刺、去奚落、去恶意的批评其它人家，但是事实上那些可恶的话语却在同一个网页、同一个用户所说的。恕我中文程度低，我现在才深深的明白什么叫讲一套，做一套，自食其果的真正意思。

该说的也说了，不该说的也都说出口了。很多事不在于明星、不在于报道，而是在于粉丝如何去看待这些事。当然一个人可以穷志也可以穷智，但是不可以没有道德理念。人必自侮然后人侮之，那如果想要别人得到别人的尊重，开口说话前请三思而后行，不然后果自负。虽然我们已尝试包涵、容忍和退让，但是人的容忍度是绝对有限的加上人善被人欺。如果大伙儿继续不吭声，有些人肯定当我们是白痴，这就是残酷的社会教会我的事。其实我们有必要很感激对方，因为他们多次赐予我们一个又一个的学习的机会，一个又一个的进步的空间，让我们长智了。经过无数的磨炼和磨难，我相信，我们地带各位亲的EQ又提高了不少。很高兴地在茫茫人海中，我们臭味相投，追星途中认识了你们，漫漫长路中有你们相伴。

给某些人的话语，what comes around and goes around. I do believe in karma !

*估计要对号入座的人一辈子都不会见到这一篇的blog，其实我也不介意公开其大名。不过为了安全起见，还是low profile比较妥当。纯粹于发泄，没有恶意中伤他人，可以无视我的文字！只能说我自己傻了、呆了。。。我只是个kacang putih，说的话起不了作用的！

I'm back

2011-10-04T04:45:00.000+11:00

Finally I am back !

Back to where I belong to !!!

My beloved Boleh-Land , the place tanah tumpah darahku.

Have a great feeling when I arrived in PG airport.

But everything overwhelmed by the hotness of the air.

So I decided to hide myself at home for the first few days.

Trying to adjust the time, avoid jet lag so that I could sleep and eat at the right time

Gotta fully utilise my days because my holidays are just way too short.

See ya =)

Last paper for sem 2

2011-09-29T20:06:00.000+10:00

I think I will definitely screw the microeconomics paper 2moro @,@

Perfect Competition, Monopoly, Monopolistic Competition and Oligopoly.

Everything about graphs ~ how to differentiate them ?! OMG ~

Couldn't stay focus at alll !!! And don't know WTH imma studying, ended up everything in a mess.

Yea, congratz to myself. The time to face failure, time to change my learning attitude.

Come on, just accept the sarcastic words from them as usual.

The only things is to stay strong and face the exam !

Tonight gotta be a long long night.

Hmm, may be not to sleep will be a great idea ~

Hope I can stay alive ...

Tiredness really drives me nuts ~

Kill me otherwise ...

Oops, I crap again ...

Bounce back to the book world.

BTW, please bless me ~ good luck to myself =)

Revision days

2011-09-25T02:09:00.001+10:00

Second semester comes to the end. And here come the so-called study week. Nahh, not at all, only three days. Just too different from what a university suppose to have. I tell myself, after this, one more sem, one more sem left and I will be done with uni year 1.

Pretty hate the system as I have my final test during the change of season, winter to spring. For the previous sem was Autumn to winter. These made me sick. Tissues are always the best companion while I am doing my revision. Due to not feeling well, I granted myself a earlier study break. LOL. Skipping the econs revision class and enjoyed my day with my own way. This sounds great but I always failed to follow my schedule as you know.

Although I knew, I realised that I am running out of time. But I don't feel like I have the kick to study. Lack of these and that, make me feel so hard to concentrate. Is too late to imply any action, I think concentration is the thing that I need the most atm. Gahh, who wanna motivate me?! You're always welcome.

I think this thing happened to me as I have no confident on these subjects on both Econs and STAT. Struggling lots and I think lots more to understand and to learn. Seriously, I think I should have change my study style, if not I would definitely fail my degree.

Hope I would have keep my promise, I just want my life to be more efficient and live life with no regret.

Bounds back to the world of econs =(

represent my situation, LOL

感触

2011-09-22T13:19:00.003+10:00

这个学期过得有点痛苦，因为要面对很多未知数，加上自己对那三科都没有把握。每天除了担心还是担心，除了压力还是压力，除了害怕还是害怕。这种生活真的可以很恐怖，因为我选择了逃避。

暂时解决了ACBE，除了final考试成绩还未揭晓，其它的In-class test 分数还是过意得去的。presentation和poster都是全班最高分，那一刹那很兴奋很high！poster自认真的是付出了很多很多。但是我想说的是so what？！确实这不代表什么，因为这不能100%确保我一定会pass ACBE，就算pass了，也不一定会拿Distinction。身边有的都是国际学生，大部分都来自中国。所以我的成就并不代表什么。加上事实就是如此，自己也很清醒。一山还有一山高，我这种表现在大马也就属于一般般。来到了这个地方，英文不但没有进步，而且还退步了。如果还被这些分数蒙蔽了双眼，后果真的是不堪设想。话虽如此，我还是希望可以pass，最好可以拿distinction。不过残酷的事实告诉我，拿distinction的机会低于零。

虽然已经预料了STAT的mid-term成绩，但是当望着自己的分数时顿时有点的失落。加上看见了某人得意并带有点奚落的表情，顿时不知所措。近朱者赤近墨者黑，如果身边有的是一群上进的同学，必然念书起来都会有一些冲劲！当然我也不可以把责任全都推到他人身上，自己也应该负些责人。这个学期因为懒惰因为一些无谓的事，松懈了不少。这次我输了，彻底的输了！输，不是输给谁，而是输给自己！告诉我自己，还有一个星期，只要肯付出，肯努力，肯定就会有奇迹出现的！！！

这两个已经足以打击我，加上一个半懂半不懂的econs，确实是烦！

开始倒数回家的日子。。。10天，我坚持到底！！！

study mode ON please ...

并不是我坚强，只是我比别人沉默得久一些；并不是我快乐，只是我比别人掩藏得深一些。穿梭在人流中，心无所依，追逐累了，一切才看得淡；泪流尽了，心结才解得开。我的美丽如烟花般盛开在别人的天空，落下的灰烬覆盖了我灵魂的土地。有些痛，没人懂，只能自己伪装一张笑脸，然后孤独地走。

我又语无伦次了。。。

。。。

2011-09-18T21:54:00.000+10:00

很清楚的记得~去年的这一个星期
一个饱受精神、心灵、学业上的折磨的一个星期
害怕电话铃声响起的那一刻
害怕接通家人的电话
最害怕的莫过于听见自己最不想成为事实的事实

这几天心情莫名的很难过

Undilah - English (Namewee Afdlin Shauki Kuli Pete Teo)

2011-09-17T15:12:00.000+10:00

Nice song to share with. Spread the spirit. Undilahh !!!

Remember no matter what, Malaysia is still my country !

Where I belong to , seriously I'm proud to be Malaysian especially in a foreign country.

He did it his way

2011-09-15T22:04:00.005+10:00

He did it his way

By NG ZHU HANN

A young man who placed family first showed that nothing is impossible when your heart is in it.

MY best friend Terrence Phang Ying Choy was from SMK Bandar Utama, Selangor. I had known him for 12 years, since primary school. I literally grew up with him and he was like a brother to me.

Ying Choy came from a poor background. His father is a contractor and his mother, a housewife. He had two younger siblings and they live in a rented apartment.

Like most Chinese-educated students, his command of English was comparatively weaker than that of his peers. He was also an ordinary student with no special talent in sports or music.

However, Ying Choy worked twice as hard as his peers and did really well in school. He scored 6As and 1B in his UPSR, 8As in his PMR and 9A1s and 2As in his SPM.

Beloved son, brother and friend: Terrence Phang Ying Choy.

Despite his good results he failed to secure any scholarship after Form Five. Because his father’s construction jobs are seasonal, he decided to work to supplement the family’s income and support his younger brothers, instead of furthering his studies. He did sales and marketing for his uncle’s firm, worked on a construction site and gave tuition four times a week for one full year. In fact, he was the sole breadwinner during the economic downturn in 2007.

When his father’s income became more stable as the property market picked up again, Ying Choy decided to go back to his studies. He felt manual labour was not enough to help the family.

He enrolled in Form Six, studied for about three months, then dropped out. He switched to A-levels at Tunku Abdul Rahman (TAR) College, where he got a full subsidy for his course. But he dropped out after two months.

Finally, he enrolled in Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman for a foundation programme, which he completed. Once again, he stopped studying and went back to work for some months.

Ying Choy dropped out three times because he could not focus on his studies knowing that his siblings would be leaving school soon and needed money to further their education.

One day, he saw some Facebook pictures of his secondary school friends who were studying in London, on tour in the Swiss Alps. He wondered why others could do it while he could not. He realised it wasn’t because they were smarter but that they had better opportunities.

So he withdrew the RM17,000 he had saved from working and took a leap of faith – he signed up for an express A-levels programme that Sunway College had just introduced.

The gamble was that if he did well, he would get an offer from a good university, which would enable him to get a scholarship. He could then use the money to study and save some for his family.

After being away from books for almost one-and-a-half years, Ying Choy had to struggle to cope. Every day he attended college from 8am to 6pm; went home for dinner; gave tuition from 8 to 10pm, and then revised his lessons from 10.30pm to 12.30am. He did this for a whole year.

Early 2009, Ying Choy received offers from five top British universities: the London School of Economics, Imperial College London, Warwick University, University College London and University of Cambridge. He also got offers from Melbourne University and the National University of Singapore.

He was shocked and elated. He least expected to get a place in Cambridge, which many top Malaysian students had failed to get into, what more a boy whose pre-U studies was never exceptional.

Despite the good news, he still had to get the scholarship.

After being rejected by various companies and foundations, he finally received an offer from Sime Darby, one month before Cambridge’s acceptance deadline. Ying Choy had defied the odds to attain a place in the one of the best universities in the world.

That year, he stepped on an aeroplane for the first time in his life. It was his first trip abroad and the first time he had left home. He was the first in his family to go for tertiary education.

He promised them he would come back and life would be good after he graduated. He would take them to Europe and buy a new house so they need not have to rent.

Ying Choy spent wisely and saved substantially. Every month, he sent home a large portion of his allowance.

He did remarkably in his first year at Cambridge, scoring first class honours and was ranked 37 among the 160 engineering students in his batch. He did equally well in his second year.

In July, Ying Choy came home for the summer holidays. His family had been looking forward to his return and everyone had a good time with him back.

But life took a cruel twist on Sept 1. At 6am that morning, he had breathing difficulties and collapsed by the side of his bed.

My best friend died about six hours after I last saw him. He had looked perfectly healthy then. In fact, he was a basketball player and a gym rat.

He was buried on Sept 4. He was only 22.

A large portion of his savings – he had saved over RM50,000 for his siblings’ education – was used for the funeral expenses. His family, who are still in shock, now have to worry about their younger sons’ education even as they grieve for their eldest boy.

Ying Choy strongly believed in self-help. He was vehemently against using connections as the way to success. He was living proof that meritocracy still exists today.

I will always miss him.

Copy from The Star

As I stated in Facebook, with no doubt, this is a great and touch story. The spirit, the attitude towards life and everything else. Really salute the way he respect life, I think we shall learn from him. Embrace hope, live life to the max !!!

中秋节快乐！

2011-09-12T22:00:00.000+10:00

中秋节快乐！

祝各位朋友们如愿以偿！

还记得每年的中秋节都会与表兄姐妹们

一块儿在屋外提灯笼玩游戏吃月饼

最喜欢就是拿那些旧报子来烧~然后玩家家酒

想着想着这些都是很多年前的事了

三年了~三年的中秋节都是在考试中度过的

中秋节的气氛感觉上已经离我远去了

无论如何还是需要回味下，童年

附送一首听着长大的歌曲

呵呵，不过现在长大了听的是talking to the moon la LOL

记得要吃月饼哦！

ACBE final test

2011-09-11T16:55:00.000+10:00

Time flies. Second semester going to end soon, very soon. Every week, every day is rushing for something, before the due date. Repeating the same work just like a robot semester by semester. I know, I know , first year suppose to be the most precious and most enjoyable moment in university. But sometimes is just too hard to explain ...

Everyone is standing in the different circumstance with different perspective. That's why we always ended up in a mess or even misunderstanding that might end a friendship. I don't wish this things to happen, yes sincerely I don't wish it to happen. I tried to change, may be not the best but I least I tried. Controlling myself and of course control my bad emotional. But then people is just so mean. Or may be I am just too sensitive like no one else. That's what a friend's job ?! I wondered. Comparing the results like a elementary school children. Being mean and sarcastic all the time.

Forget about it, have no time to think much on that topic. It ruined my mood as usual. The only thing to do, study hard and what I aim to. I am very sure not for anyone else but for me myself. Improve, I promise myself. I will, especially for english. I know I will never learn if I continue do do, come on self-improving. And to all the bastards, stop comparing the results and bombastic like a fool. I know how great you are, but please keep it to yourself. I will definitely thank you if you don't.

ACBE final test is on the coming Wednesday follow by presentation on the coming week. Just like what I had before for EALD, nervours, tension, stress and everything that make you feel bad. Although I get satisfied marks for the previous test, but I really have no idea for the subject. Pheww, pray hard for it and hope everything gonna be alright !

I think I should tune myself to the study mode but so reluctant to say that I always get tired easily @,@ ...

Start counting down the days to back to my dear BOLEH-LAND !

Recent

2011-09-05T13:18:00.000+10:00

Hmm, one more month to end this semester. This significance that I'm going back to homeland soon !!! Wohoo, counting down the days, can't wait to meet my friends =)

But before enjoying, this month will be the most dreadful month in this year. Too many things that need to be cleared and understand within a short period meanwhile completing the never-ending assignment. *Finger-crossed* I have no confident, not at all for this semester. Everything seems to be misty yet unknown. Hope I can go through it with flying colour though.

Ermm, this will be my schedule for this month. Economics online test due this week follow by ACBE poster presentation first draft and ACBE report. Then STAT assignment due next monday and then ACBE final in- class test. Then Economics online test again, continue by STAT online test every week. Gahh, and revision for each subjects !!! Pheww, I don't think I can handle them well ....

Stress + Tension ...

What grade will I be granted for each subjects ?! I wish I can get what I wish ...

= Dear friend, stop your sarcastic words please ... Don't ever go beyond my limit ... =

Remain unsaid

2011-09-04T00:21:00.000+10:00

Sorry for neglecting my blog again !
I have lots of things to say but they are all my bad emotional.
So I do prefer them to remain unsaid ...
Hopefully it is a good sign !
But sometimes I do need to release my tension ...

Long journey before this semester end ...

Satisfy ?!

2011-08-28T21:49:00.001+10:00

Should I satisfied with my mid-term result ?! Hmm, human is born-to-be greedy, I think I will never say yes. No special feeling about it, but really appreciate it as it is much more better than what I predicted. As what the lecturer and tutor said, we must really put in more effort in order to score higher marks.

This semester is just so dreadful. Assignments always follow by tests and then continue by online test then another assignment due. Pheww, restless man ! Seriously I need a break so desperate. But I know this is so impossible. Starting from this week everything comes in a high speed way. Each week either assignment due or there will be big tests. Days by days, marks by marks. Getting nervous as I really don't know how to face STAT and ACBE. Arghh, I really have no idea on them . Hopefully I can still stay alive for the assignment, writing test a.k.a final for ACBE and presentation. They mean a lot to be, they are the one who state my life , LOL. Sound serious right ?! But is true. I don't wanna resit it next sem, pray hard !!!

Counting the days to go back home is the only way to motivate myself !!!

Sometimes, I do feel this way ...

Sunday

2011-08-24T21:20:00.000+10:00

Ohh yes ...

If you know me well, you will know what I mean !

Yes, at last there's someone HERE !

Waited patiently for about 6 months

and I thought no artist will visit Sydney.

Yes, it was a wonderful Sunday.

Event scheduled to start at 230pm but I was already there by 1pm.

Was so surprised that there's seats for us.

With no doubts, I choose to seat in the front.

And they told us we will be granted a postcard from each of the artist with autograph.

Awesome is the only word.

As time passed, the crowd was getting worst.

The situations getting annoying as chinese are really kiasu.

Thou everyone had their own ticket, but still they feel like pushing each others.

The situation gone worst when the artist came.

Horrible.

Most of the photographs taken were being blocked atm.

Whose butt iziit ?!

They were just so damn annoying !

Driving me nuts.

Okay, now is the time for showtime.

Tehee ...

Photos speak everything ...

Handsome Wayne Lai and Nancy Wu =)

This was actually my second time for meeting Wayne Lai.

This were FOC ! This was the only things that impressed me.

I wish there will be more TVB stars coming here.

But I know it will be only once a year * sob sob*

Demi Lovato - Skyscraper

2011-08-20T13:57:00.000+10:00

[Demi Lovato]
Skies are crying
I am watching
Catching teardrops in my hands
Only silence as it's ending, like we never had a chance
Do you have to, make me feel like there is nothing left of me?

[Chorus]
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like i'm made of glass
Like i'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper!
Like a skyscraper!

[Demi Lovato]
As the smoke clears
I awaken, and untangle you from me
Would it make you, feel better to watch me while I bleed?
All my windows, still are broken
But I'm standing on my feet

[Chorus]
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Demi Lovato Skyscraper lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/demi-lovato-skyscraper-lyrics.html

Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper!
Like a skyscraper!

[Bridge]
Go run, run, run
I'm gonna stay right here
Watch you disappear, yeah
Go run, run, run
Yeah it's a long way down
But I am closer to the clouds up here

[Demi Lovato]
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper, Oh
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground

Like a skyscraper!
Like a skyscraper!

Like a skyscraper!
Like a skyscraper!

Nice song, love it so much especially the chorus part =)

懂不懂？！

2011-08-16T22:12:00.002+10:00

年轻的我们必须懂得：

1、你不勇敢，没人替你坚强；

2、没有伞的孩子必须努力奔跑！

3、自己选择的路、跪着也要把它走完；

4、不要生气要争气，不要看破要突破，不要嫉妒要欣赏，不要拖延要积极，不要心动要行动；

5、宁愿跑起来被拌倒无数次，也不愿规规矩矩走一辈子。就算跌倒也要豪迈的笑。

Hypnotizing myself, everything will be alright in the end ...

Random

2011-08-15T00:34:00.000+10:00

Now only I realise that, I have only 1 post in August. Lots of thoughts in my mind, but I choose to keep them, deep in my heart. May be this is to get through the growing process.

Erm, as I said ACBE is one of the subject that drives me mad always. Yea, can't deny. I hate it as much as I could. Never thought that I can score well, not at all. Only thinking of either a pass or credit that will satisfy me. Is too early to say that, because everything depends on FINAL. Pheww, pray hard !

One of the test surprised me. My lecturer said a lot of people did not do well in the test. So I assumed I will be one of them or my marks will be in the border line. When the lecturer passes me my paper, I almost shout for joy. Oops, the highest mark in the class thou the mark wasn't that high. Hmm, okay work harder in the coming test and of course final. Lots more to improve, way more to go.

Come on, study for final !!! Live life with no regrets ~

Breathe

2011-08-10T21:19:00.000+10:00

Oops, I've been abandoned my blog for such a long time. Arghh, the entire 2 weeks were filled of tests and assignments. Breathless is the only word. This week is the only week that I can rest. I mean no assignment due. Starting from next week, life will be even worst. Can I survive, I wonder.

Katy Perry - Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)

2011-07-31T23:02:00.000+10:00

My brain couldn't stop playing this song la ...

thou my friday night isn't that great LOL

Here come to the end of July and I shall work harder for the second-half of my sem ~

And of course stay away from being EMO as well ...

Hopefully I can get a job ASAP !!! I wanna spend money , hahahah ...

Beyonce - Best Thing I Never Had

2011-07-31T15:45:00.000+10:00

What goes around comes back around ... Best thing I never had ...

Nice song to share , love it !!!

Presentation

2011-07-30T18:37:00.000+10:00

Hmm, have been sometimes that I have no time to update my blog. Yay, I am fone with my ECONS assignment. The one and only assignment for this subject. As usual, the preparation parts were full of joys, angers, tiredness and tears. And the worst part happened the day before the assignment due. In a more details way to say might be 10 hours before the assignment due.

Almost lost my temper and was like WTF when that girl pointed out her opinion. I asked her opinion a week before, before I write. We even had a group discussion so that I could finalised what to write in the assignment.

I even send her a copy of the finalised work so that to confirm we were on the right path. But, no news, no reply at all. Okay, we were forced to call her as we need to prepare for the presentation. Was about 1030pm and she started to complain about the work. And she asked me to add in this and that, but frankly speaking, I don't even know what the heck was going on. To be a good teammate, we asked her to write since she was the only one who obliged the work done. And the answer we got back was NO ! WTH, well that's hilarious ... Getting frustrated that moment. Then she wrote something, but just a line and nothing much. I really feel like killing her at that moment! Oops, yea I admit that I have low EQ ! Argh, really drove me up the wall in the middle of the night.

After these and that, again I need to print out another copy of our group assignment. What a waste because of her !!! And I thought we should discuss about the presentation, she look like didn't even wanna know at all. *Speechless*

I enjoyed the presentation so much, as now I am no longer that afraid of standing alone to present. Hmm, this should be a good sign or just tiny of improvement. Had all the positive comments for our presentation skills but not the content, should I be happy or sad ?! LOL. No matter how, I already did my best, whatever it will be, will be. So sad to say that I am having ECONS mid-term coming Friday. Gotta face ECONS for this whole week, sounds sucks !!! I want a break, but I've not even a term-break this sem. Life's dull as usual.

=Just the way I am, be myself=

Busy like HELL

2011-07-27T21:19:00.000+10:00

Almost done with my ECONS assignment, then follow by STAT assignment, then ACBE & ECONS hw, then presentation, then online test& quiz, then having ECONS mid-term next Friday. I thought these are only happening events, but who knows I have even ONE more ACBE test to go ... Really FML ~

可以孤单，但不许孤独。可以寂寞，但不许空虚。可以消沉，但不许堕落。可以失望，但不许放弃。加油，相信自己可以做的更好！

Have a feeling that winter gonna end soon ... =(

Assignment

2011-07-22T15:49:00.000+10:00

I wonder it consider as good luck or shitty luck ! Econs assignment is one of the great disaster I ever had. Because it is full of economic terminology and we even need to analyse the article regarding to those terms. Yet, it is a group assignment that once again we need to deal with people from different backgrounds and attitudes. LOL.

Before we had the group meeting, I labelled them as lazy-bum as they didn't wanna care the assignment at all. Nahh, this is because we have too less time to meet up to settle out this mission impossible. So sorry about that, I know everyone is so damn wish to get high marks for it. We have about 5 or 6 groups in a class, and the presentation will start from week 5 to week 11. So sad to said, I am the first group again ! Pheww, last sem for CAL presentation I was also assigned in the first group. FML. Thou it sounds bad, but actually it doesn't. As things get harder and more things to come each week. So the earlier we complete this task, we will have more time to settle the coming tasks !

Just that it comes too soon, next Thursday will be the day. OMG ! How many 2moros left for me to complete and comply the stuffs ?! And they asked me to be one of the presenters ! Can I ? Shall I ? Should I ? Eww, I hate to talk in front of bunches of people !!! It's easy to stand with the crowd but it takes courage to stand alone ...

Hopefully everything will be smooth sailing ... Arghh, is time to dump myself back to the assignment again ...

别再放弃了-蔡康永

2011-07-18T23:41:00.000+10:00

‎15歲覺得游泳難，放棄游泳，

到18歲遇到一個你喜歡的人約你去游泳，你只好說「我不會耶」。

18歲覺得英文難，放棄英文，

28歲出現一個很棒但要會英文的工作，你只好說「我不會耶」。

人生前期越嫌麻煩，越懶得學，

後來就越可能錯過讓你動心的人和事，錯過新風景。

by 蔡康永

后记：那还有什么是会的？！嗯，此时此刻就好好学习！

When we meet again, CAL friends

2011-07-18T18:29:00.000+10:00

We took the same subjects and we were scheduled to the same classes for all the subjects. We met almost everyday in the last semester. Then we started to be friend, knowing each other. From not much topic to chat until we are able to chat on the same topics and having all kinds of jokes on different languages. Sounds funny, but this is the truth. This is how we communicate and how we improve ourselves. May be we have had disagreement, conflicts or even rebellions before, but that's not important. As every friendship need to go through a certain stages to be real friend in life. I don't know whether this kinda so-called friendship will last for how long, but as long we enjoy and

In this sem, we hardly meet any of them. May be two or three will be in the same class. Now only we started to appreciate things and friends. The precious moment we had fun together during the CAL classes. All of sudden, they planned a gathering for lunch and early dinner on last thursday. Thou we waited for like 2 hours plus but I think it worth more than everything. The first time sitting a friend's car here and it was actually overloaded. A car of 6, moving around at the pick time sounded excited man !

Korean style barbecuer was our late lunch+ early dinner. Seven of us had it since 4pm until 630pm, LOL. Chat and gossip bunches of things while we were having food. Thou we only meet each others for 4 months, but we are like long lost friends, haha.

Will these friendship last forever?! I don't know, but I really appreciate the moment we share together ...

Faker

2011-07-16T22:22:00.002+10:00

I wonder why these things happened, LOL. Perhaps may be that fella is too free yet too bored, so she or he does all these idiot things. Hehe, don't get me wrong, I am talking someone, but I don't know who he is actually.

Bernice Liu has her own facebook fan page, I mean she update and manage it by her own. Since now she works in mainland, she hardly update her facebook. There's so many faker in facebook, this is quite normal. But then recently, we found a person called "Bernice Liu" in facebook and she constantly update her status. She claims herself as the REAL Bernice Liu. May be this sounds normal, but then that idiot (forgive me to call her in this way) updated the previous status updated by Bernice in weibo and twitter. Yet, that fella stole the photo from our forum. Do you know it sounds so idiotic to us?!

This is the photo stolen from B2 Zone without the logo on it. That fella claimed that "she" was in L.A that moment and received the flower from Nina Jo. Dear fans, please open your eyes, can you see any chinese wording in LA airport ?! Leave the answer to yourself. This photo was actually taken in Beijing airport before gathering with fans in china, LOL. See how ridiculous "she" is !!!

And then few days ago, "she" updated her status again. Claimed that she was twittering. It was another ridiculous things again.

Hehe, can you detect the differences between these two photos ?! The first one was posted by Bernice 24th september 2010 in weibo. But then that idiot said that she was twittering at the moment ! Huh ! The real Bernice changed her twitter background and even her profile picz ages ago !

Wake up man ! The fan page that manage by Bernice herself has only thousands plus of fans but the fake one has almost 3000 fans. I wonder why these people believe "her" ! Pheww, may be this significant that Bernice has got quite a lot of fans, this should be a good sign thou.

No offence yet not trying to insult that fella, but just pointing out the truth and of course for the purpose of sharing and fun ! LOL !

Sucks

2011-07-16T00:44:00.001+10:00

Hmm, I think the word sucks never escape from my life since I started my sem 2. Time really flies like no one else as now already Week 3 of my second sem, 10 more weeks will be my finals. Perhaps there's plenty much time left but it is not the truth.Running out of time, now and then. Yet, this is only the beginning, more to come ! Eww, life sucks !

Tests follow by online tests, continue by assignment to complete and present, then follow by endless of homeworks and revisions. Had ACBE first assessment, feel okay but not confident at all. Hope it will be alright =( Completed two Statistic online tests this two days and one more Econs online test is waiting for me. Arghh, stress and breathless ehh ! I thought I left only this few things to complete in this few days, before class start again. But, the answer is NO ! I still have to rush for my assignment as I have all F*cking groupmates who give zillions of excuse while we are running out of time. WTH, well that's hilarious =(

Lot's more to come. Can I still survive, I wonder. Back to the hectic life ...

走着走着，就散了，回忆都淡了；看着看着，就累了，星光也暗了；听着听着，就醒了，开始埋怨了；回头发现，你不见了，突然我乱了。

Random

2011-07-09T01:08:00.000+10:00

曾经很讨厌那个国家那个地方，也曾经在这边因为being a malaysian而感觉到荣耀！这种矛盾的心情一直没有停止的。不知道明天会发生什么事，但我希望是改变！听说全世界都会同时进行rally。心很热，但是无动于衷！因为懦弱，因为害怕，因为种种的原因，当然是因为visa的问题啦，所以当然还是选择当个乖乖的学生，不闻不问的，好！

I wonder what will happen 2moro, let's see whether it is bersih or whatever !

ACBE

2011-07-06T22:12:00.000+10:00

Okay, the main aim of this post is to release stress. Kinda lost, kinda depressed hence overall seems bad. Feeling sucks as I was forced to take CAL in the first sem as I didn't sit for IELTS test. After few months of hard work, hard as it has 16 hours of classes per week. Finally did it with flying colours but wasn't make any different as pass. Now, we are asked to take Academic Communication Business and Economics a.k.a ACBE. Hmm, may be I am just too naive thought that it is easy and something related to english. Nahh, now I can proof myself wrong.

Shitty is the one and only word to describe. The first day and the first feeling was actually quite great. But the truth usually sounds worst than what we expected. Surprisingly, out of 25 students, my class has more than 7 of them retake this subject. Eww, feel so nervous, stress, tension and so damn complicated ! Really hate this kinda situation, dislike seriously ! WTFFF !!! Why people can easily get HD/ D in other unis and we need to suffer this. So for now I dare not wish to shoot the sky but at least a pass or credit for this subject please. I don't want it pollute my result slip. Arghh, next week will be the first assessment yet I don't know what hell I am learning !!! So how to prepare for the test ?! Pray hard not to screw it up ....

Moody. Cried while listening to Talking to the moon ain't a good things ...

Random

2011-07-03T00:49:00.000+10:00

Oops, it has been some time that I didn't update my blog again. Ermm, don't feel like blogging, just to share that I am going to Snowy Mountain early in the morning 2moro. Hope it will be an excited trip as I wish and I won't freeze in the cold.

Another things to share is I am learning photoshop skills recently. It sounds interesting to me, but I really need more time to learn and improve of course. Yea, I am noob !

Vividly remember, we celebrated your birthday last year with tears ...

The beginning of sem 2 life

2011-06-27T12:36:00.000+10:00

Will be starting my sem 2 life 2moro. Somehow I feel so excited and eagerly to go back to uni to have class, like seriously. But 3 seconds later, I can feel the lameness and the tiredness. Eww, they are so contradict to each one. Not too bad that I have only 3 days of classes for 3 subjects in this semester.

Okay, I don't know what will happen in this sem, everything starts over again. Result will be definitely one of them and friendships might be too. Uni-mates will only last for a semester ?! I wonder. Thou facing all the boundaries and unknown, I know I can make it like how my favourite idol go through it. So , I believe that out of difficulties make miracles !!!

This reminded me a lesson taught in secondary school. We were forced to read a story named "Who moved my cheese ?" And now I feel so thankful that I've learned this before. Accept it and welcome changes, because this is the reality of life !

网络世界

2011-06-23T15:29:00.000+10:00

现实中我们用真名说假话，网络中我们用假名说真话。话虽如此，但是句句属实，说出了很多都市人的心声。问问你自己吧，你一共几位网友？或许太多得就连你自己也不清楚。在这科技发达的社会，网络世界的真真假假，好象都已经不再重要了。以前人家总说网络世界如黑色地带，虚拟世界等等的，要小心为妙。但是经历了3年多的网络世界，我认为如果谨慎地利用网络，不至于那样差。我认为至少在网络上可以找到那份真实感，怎样都总比生活上来的好、来得简单。至少在网络上可以摘下面具、真真的放纵自己，至少不必每时每刻都面对那种勾心斗角的生活。这样比现实生活写意得多了！

转眼间自己投入在这个网络世界，已经有3年多了。慢慢的发现，很多时候很多话，你不一定会跟你的朋友分享，但是你却愿意跟网友们分享。很多时候，你对着朋友吞吞吐吐的，有苦难言，最后选择说谎话；但是在网络世界里面却选择恢复自己最真的那一面，实话实说。这种真真假假、假假真真的生活虽然矛盾，但也许很多人宁愿这样。为的也只是舒解自己的压力、逃避一些难题，做回自己。人总是有口难言嘛，看来这是最佳的方式。

朋友的在线率越高，表示一个人越孤寂。一开始我不相信，但是现在我绝对认为此说法。望着朋友都在线，可是却不知道要找谁聊天是好。有些朋友虽然认识很久了，但只是属于泛泛之交，没有什么相同的话题，有些甚至就是无事不登山宝殿的那种。因为论坛，我认识了不少的网友，陪伴我度过这几年。或许这样说感觉有点浮夸，但事实确实如此。从家乡到吉隆坡然后再到澳洲念书，身边的朋友来了又走。刚毕业的时候我们还保持联系，随着时间的流逝，看着朋友们逐渐离开了，曾经的同学也开始各奔东西，我们联系的次数也开始减少了，有时候聊一句没一句的。或许在新的环境里认识新的朋友了，有新的交友圈了，渐渐地不再和以前的朋友联系，那些曾经相熟的我们，开始由朋友转变成陌生人了。唯一不变的就是我网上所认识的网友。这就是还未毕业，残酷的现实教会我的事。

就算每天多忙碌，都会抽空上网。每天上网吹水、聊天顺便八卦。虽然看在很多人的眼里，这是一个说既没有意义又浪费时间的事。但是，我却认为这样不但开拓我的视野也让我在无形中认识了一班很要好的网友。或许不是每个人都这么地认为，但是至少我找到快乐的源泉。回想起来，一切就像昨天刚发生的事一样。三年前阴差阳错之下踏入了论坛的水区，那天后，突然很多人介入了我的生活里。大家来自不同国籍、不同文化背景、不同教育制度，这个其次，重点是教会了我许多课业上学不到的事。这种陌生到熟悉甚至是透过吹水而互相了解的过程一点都不容易。当然也少不了无论我还是开心、兴奋喜悦，还是伤心、失落或是寂寞难耐的时候的陪伴。说实话，论坛与网友陪伴我度过了三场的大考，真的很感慨一路以来有你们的支持还有鼓励。或许这算不了什么，但是这些简单的话语确实是我精神上的支助。

虽然很多都只是见过相片、通过音频聊天、未曾见过面，茫茫人海中有机会认识各位，我相信这算是一种缘份。我觉得这“友谊”比起身边的泛泛之交来得珍贵。现实告诉我没有永远的事儿，所以有哪一天你已经没有上论坛的习惯，也许我们已经没有联系，或是你已经不再属于网络世界，只可以说很高兴的认识你，很荣幸的你在我生命里出现过，为我人生增添了不少的色彩。

Manly Beach

2011-06-22T14:23:00.000+10:00

My holidays seem to be dull and lame, as usual but this was something great.

A walk to Manly Beach with awesome sceneries.

Yay, frankly speaking that I love the beach some much especially the waves.

I can feel the calmness while I walked along the beach.

How I wish I know how to surf.

Aww, before that I gotta learn how to swim first.

I hope this dream will come true while the day is still young !

More photos were uploaded in Facebook =P

Sometimes you gotta shut up, swallow your pride and accept that you're wrong. It's not giving up. It's called growing up.

苦自己尝、痛自己扛、泪自己擦！要学会坚强、不是么

2011-06-18T15:59:00.000+10:00

其实.，我很累了.

其实，一直没有人能够懂我，我习惯了假装坚强，习惯了一个人面对所有....

我不知道自己到底想怎样

有时候

我可以很开心的和每个人说话，可以很放肆的.

可是没有人知道那不过是伪装，很刻意的伪装

我可以让自己很快乐很快乐

可是却找不到快乐的源泉，只会让自己傻笑

不习惯把事跟很多人说，因为我不习惯别人用可怜的眼光看我

其实，我很珍惜身边的人，只是生活的压力让我善于遗忘，把那些记忆通通遗忘

我以为遗忘可以让自己快乐起来...

可我感觉到的却是更多的寂寞

黑夜来袭，周围的空气很躁.....

一个人爬在窗前，对着窗外的人群发呆.....

也不知道自己在想什么..想很多很多，想到头痛，想到心痛。

怀念过去？仅此而已..？

其实我很累了，真的想放下所有...

何时发现我不在爱写日记，即使心里有好多事，我也宁愿憋在心里，不是我不愿说，而是我疲惫了...

挂了FB 却不上线

挂了FB 却不聊天

只是反复着打开空间，关闭空间..

何时

我不再喜欢追逐打闹，却很想和以前一样活蹦乱跳

何时

我沉默的不再爱说话.却很想找个知心朋友向她倾诉所有....

我喜欢在很静很静的黑夜，又害怕静静的黑夜。关了灯让寂寞把我包裹，却又害怕黑暗...

我也会偶而想和朋友聚聚..

或开心

或失望.

我也会偶尔找寻发泄的方法

或有效

或更伤

偶而也会寂寞的拿起手机翻开通信录，一遍一遍的.....却不知道该打给谁.......

当自己无助的时候，会想到，该怎么办到底怎么办，去和朋友说？

又能和谁说。

亲爱的自己、醒醒吧。学会去承受。学会去面对现实吧。

告诉自己要成为一个现实的人，一定要变得现实。

“I believe the choice to be excellent begins with aligning your thoughts and words with the intention to require more from yourself.' ------------ Oprah Winfrey

Wait

2011-06-17T15:46:00.000+10:00

The mission of the day is to WAIT. Woke up early in the morning as the electrician is coming to repair the bulb thingy. Waited since 9am and he came only about 11am. How I wish to scold him but of course I didn't. Played Wii for the whole morning, yes keep fit using Wii seems to be brilliant. Hehe, hope it works lo.

Okay, morning seems to be fun but actually not. When excited meet nervousness, the feeling was quite sucks. Hmm, I never know I can be so nervous. The feeling was worst than Wace, I wonder why... Kept on replay the song Listen by Beyonce. Nothing much just wish that I won't get any disappointment. This is totally torturing my mental, somehow or rather I was like going to mad.

So after half day of waiting, my dream come true. Nahh, is too early to say this. Ermm, I think I should say, I achieved what I looking for. HD for accounting , huh , I miss the marks so much as after the 2 topical tests last year I hardly get this kinda marks. D for marketing as I have not much confident on it, so I am happy enough for it. So what's next ?! Work harder and get more friends in the coming semester. Cheers !!!

The Lazy Song

2011-06-16T14:36:00.000+10:00

Hmm, this holidays seems to be pretty bored to me. Nothing to do except eat, play, and sleep.

The Lazy Song mode is on everyday !!!

I'm so lazy thou I said I gotta find job soon. But just give me a rest for few days =)

End of first sem

2011-06-07T23:30:00.000+10:00

Okay, I’m now officially completed my first sem in my degree life. Hooray, finally I can get a good rest and is holidays ! It sounds great but actually I’ve nothing to feel excited. Looking forward for something, and when the something appeared, feel nothing. Hmm, rest for few days first, then only plan what is going next.

s today, 7^th of June 2011. Winter has approach, the weather was just freaking cold. Feel so crazy cold during in the morning and night, afternoon also considered cold. Gotta wear even thicker I think, with caps and gloves on may be. LOL. Talking about Marketing test, I have not much confident to score well but it wasn’t that bad. I mean is okay but I dare not put high hope on it. 100 multiple choices were just too much yet tiring. Felt so sleepy when I was only in question 60. Omg, was like still a long way to go.

Having kinda good day with my coursemates. Four of us, Kandy, Ara, Jenny and me and two friends of Kandy, Jef and Olivia. Went to Eastwood to have Korean-chinese style lunch. It was just so awesome. The price was quite reasonable and yes I really feel contented. Then travelling around, I meant like I miss out the bus, then back to Epping. Then I was too tired and lazy to continue, so decided to go back home after all.

Hmm, take a good rest and have a kit kat may be. LOL. Okay, gonna fully utilize my holidays for resting first. First sem ain’t that hard as I am only taking 2 subjects, I know the following sem will be much more harder. Thou I am not that looking forward for it, but still embrace hope. Last but not least, pray hard to get both High Distinction in these both units. I eat, pray and play. Nahh, should be I pray, pray and pray …

While revision

2011-06-04T00:06:00.000+10:00

Having a so-called one week study break. Nahh, actually this is not a break, just waiting for the test to come while other subjects are going on. Rested for like 2 days and feel like I am already done with this sem. Feel so bad yet so reluctant to do my revisions. Ishh, really feel like killing myself in this hectic situation.

Marketing again. I think I complain a lot and a lot regarding to marketing. Not that it is hard, but I find it bored and too many scientific term need to be studied. Well, of course it is still easier that econs I guess. 13 chapters need to be studies and answer 100 multiple choices in the exam. Sounds easy yet, I wonder what is the possibilities of getting all correct. Haha, of course I won't hoping for it as I know where am I standing. LOL. Just hope that I can get at least distinction for the overall score. *Finger-crossed*

Going to move house this coming Sunday thou I am so damn lazy. Not that far, just 2 units ahead but so many things to be packed. And so bad to say that, my room become smaller. Shit man, hardly have a free space in the new room with all my stuffs. Gahh, hopefully my bed can fit into the room. Haha, everything seems to be done, but still remain unknown until the day arrive. So at the mean time, I still have to bounce myself back to face the reality, marketing test.

一个人，如果你不逼自己一把，你根本不知道自己有多优秀。一个人，想要优秀，你必须要接受挑战；一个人，你想要尽快优秀，就要去寻找挑战；一个人，敢听真话，需要勇气；一个人敢说真话，需要魄力；一个人的知识，通过学习可以得到；一个人的成长，必须通过磨练！

=所有在考试的朋友们，加油！=

ACCG 100

2011-06-01T01:34:00.001+10:00

31th May 2011, Tuesday.

The first paper for the final of first sem in year 2011. This is the first paper in my entire university life, I guess it will be memorable yet valuable right ?! Hope so. Tehee, ACCG 100 which also considered as basis accounting. The paper started from 9am. To avoid myself from being late, gotta wake up at 645am and left house about 730am to university. My seat number was 300. LOL, hope it brought me luck thou.

Waited at the corridor, people come and people go. Saw a familiar look, the guy was from Sunway too. Hmm, too bad I could not remember his name and he could not recognise me. Great, so nothing to talk about. Forget about it, thou I felt comfort when I first saw him, someone with the same nationality. What I see is just crowd with people. There was about 963 participants for the test. The bag room was crowded and the queue was just so damn long. Thank god that I left my bag one minute earlier than them. Sat in the hall less than 5minutes and the reading time commenced. Feeling good when I first see the test paper.

Managed to complete the multiple choice questions during the 10 minutes of reading time. The questions were all quite relevant to our studies, nothing further. If I wanna compared this to Wace ACF test, this is really pretty easy. I managed to finish it in 2 hours and have another one hour for checking purpose. Don't you think this is just so great ?! I still remember how I rushed and afraid of completing the test for wace. Time constraint was my main problem of did not perform well in the test. Because I could not finish the essay part at all. LOL. So for me, this situation was totally awesome and especially the moment when I had another hour of checking. Yess, checked some of the questions more than two times. Left 20 minutes before hand I guess to avoid the baggage crowd.

All I can say is I already try my very best. So whatever it is, I will accept. Frankly speaking, this is the first time where I did a exam with this kinda satisfaction. Never happen before except two of the accounting internal test in Ausmat. How I wish to use almost, nearly perfect to describe, but then I know my own level la, seems to be impossible LOL. Somehow I understand nothing is perfect in the world, so I would say imperfection.

当别人甚至是朋友忽略你时，不要伤心，每个人都有自己的生活，谁都不可能一直陪你。当你看到别人在笑，不要以为世界上只有你一个人伤心，其实别人只是比你会掩饰。当你无助时，你可以哭，但哭过你必须要振作起来，绝地逢生并不罕见，何况不是绝境！当你觉得处处不如人，不要自卑，记得你只是平凡人。

Random

2011-05-31T23:56:00.001+10:00

Time really flies, don't you agree with me. Hmm, just feel like posting something before the arrival of June. Nothing special to post and I am having exam recently. Things come around and goes, the nature of life, life goes on.

I am not sure what going on, but I sometimes I do really hate myself. Ishh, get emo easily which always drive me nuts. Seriously I hate it so much, feel like killing myself. Feel sad, down, stress these and that without proper reason. I know I have no choice other than bear with it. This called life, the journey alone. LOL, thats why I named my blog lonely !!!

Something excited to share with, yesterday was the first and ever time I heard thunderstorm in Sydney. I was like *harrr* and I felt a bit of scary. Hiak hiak, timid like a mouse. Still remember how horrible the thunderstorm in Sunway. How we felt the motion of the balcony and how our clothes be after the heavy rain. What a wonderful memories recall again. Ishh, once I am free will flip through all the photo albums and my blog posts that I written before. They were just so precious, hopefully I am able to remember every single of them. The rain started to be non-stop everyday, what the hell la !!! 2moro officially starts winter season. *freezing*

孤独感时常体现在一种矛盾上，就是你经常是处在一种挣扎的状态：既希望别人关注、关心自己，又不知道该怎么去接触和回应别人，于是干脆直接抗拒。可是骨子里又是那么的渴望被了解和关注，而且矛盾到嘴里说出来的和心里想的完全相反。

Final

2011-05-27T23:21:00.000+10:00

Final is coming soon, just around the corner ! I can feel the stress as everyone started their revisions. LOL. Some might even doing their second or third round of their revisions wheyy ! So where am I ?! If you know me well, you will for sure know the answer right ! About to start or about to arrive, keep it to yourself.

Some might be arrogant, yet some might be hardworking. These and that, as you know endless of gossips and endless of story. Human is just one kind. Fake animals with masks, that's human! So what ?! Can I say I don't care. Thou I really suffer from these all the while, but I choose to pretend to be nothing ! I don't want these kinda stress, tension and pressure, they are just so destructive. LOL, their kiasu-ness are worst than Malaysian and Singaporean. You know what I feel: " No eyes to see arr!". I know I am not that weak , yet I can defeat them with my strength. Doesn't matter how fast you do your revision as long as you understand and master the content. Doesn't matter how slow you do your revision, as long as you get started and not stepping backwards.

Hopefully I am not being over optimistic. Enjoy life while studying hard, I reminded myself.

I believe I can fly

2011-05-25T15:14:00.002+10:00

I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

[Chorus:]
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly

See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes silence can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me, oh

If I can see it, then I can be it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

[Chorus]

Hey, cause I believe in me, oh

If I can see it, then I can be it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

[Chorus]

Hey, if I just spread my wings
I can fly
I can fly
I can fly, hey
If I just spread my wings
I can fly
Fly-eye-eye

生病记

2011-05-21T00:18:00.001+10:00

简单的写关于这几天。

星期二起身就觉得浑身痛，最难受的是那个头痛得不得了。就连午饭都没有什么胃口吃。可是为了不让自己饿肚子，就吃了些。反正边吃就边觉得恶心。上课后一直都感觉很不舒服，加上，课室里的空气不流通，感觉更辛苦了。break之后，就觉得头晕晕的，呃，接着就开始发烧了。这堂课煎熬阿！

放课后感觉越来越严重。就连晚餐都不想吃了，回到了家，喝了罐牛奶就躺在床上睡着了。其实也不算是睡觉，就休息。其间肚子真的很难受，一直在叫；头又很痛，全身没气力的！真是痛苦啊！晚上9点多吃面当晚餐。正当吃得开胃的时候，更难受的事情来了。呃，吐了！当然，我的眼泪也开始掉了，因为生平最讨厌的就是呕吐！之后喝了姜茶以驱风，之后又喝了菊花茶来解热。又发烧又头痛头晕的，幸好半夜没有起身继续呕吐，一叫睡到天明。接着就是开始写肚子了，呃，救命啊，这是什么回事啊！！！

星期三原本要开始复习的，结果就这样迷迷糊糊的睡了一整天。之后就这样，身体一直感觉很乏力的，到了今天还是一样，一个累字！！！

不要再生病了，我要健康，我要强壮！！！

只有一条路不能选择——那就是放弃的路；只有一条路不能拒绝——那就是成长的路。

拥有梦想只是一种智力，实现梦想才是一种能力。

Happy Teachers' Day

2011-05-17T00:27:00.001+10:00

16th of May, Teachers' Day. A day which filled with fullest of memories. The memories shared with my beloved teachers in high-school and lecturers in college. Yes, this is my best memory I ever had. Really, it accompany me always, when I was lonely, depressed or even bored.LOL. I still remember that I appreciate the day but I hate it the most as we need to stand in for assembly for hours.

How I wish I'm still there, able to celebrate this special day with them. This recalled me of her, Pn.Loo. Still remembered that she sang during the celebration 2 years ago.Haha. Then it reminds me again of last year, the celebration event in Sunway College. Another awesome event that hardly to be forgotten. Many things to remember, many things to recall, but they were just memories.

Today is also the third months of studying and adopting life over here. So far so good, nothing special to mention. May be just had some hard time to communicate and to be friend with my classmates. Culture differences and the way of learning are just another problems that matter. May be will write more about it in the coming post. Ishh, culture shock may be, who knows right ?! Duhh, be myself, do my best of myself. Fighting mode is on for final !!!

Just before I end my post, I am here to wish my ex-teachers in Sin Min and lecturers from Sunway@ Ausmat , Happy Teachers' Day ! I really appreciate what you taught and gave me before. Especially Pn.Loo, Pn.Lim, Ms.Tamyne, Ms.Julia, Ms.Christine and Ms.Diana. Hope everything is find over there. Miss ya and lots of love.

A teacher is a compass that activates the magnets of curiosity, knowledge, and wisdom in the pupils.
-- Ever Garrison

Assignment done !

2011-05-15T02:03:00.001+10:00

I don't know why, somehow is hard to explain why. Feeling sucks yet depressed. Burdened myself with the stupid idiotic marketing report for almost one week. Totally lost my way as usual while I was completing the assignment. The feeling get worst day by day. Ishh, just so damn hate myself for being lazy and stupid !

Hmm, something nice to share with. I have english B class every Friday morning at 830am. Continuously for 2 weeks, I was the only one in the classroom at 830am to 9am. Can you imagine the situation ? I was like 'Err, am I in the write class with correct timetable'. Nahh, this is not a joke. LOL, surprisingly she started to teach. But then poor thingy, I just kept on repeating the lines. At the time of 930am, there was only 5 of us in class. ROFL. Before the break time, 7 of us in the class. She is just so "popular" ! Duhh, the whole morning wasted again and again la. Couldn't stand her anymore, should I skip her coming Friday class ?!

Weekend again. I lost 2 weekends already, thought of enjoy or relax but this weekend ain't no dun at all. Rushing for assignment from day to night and from night to day. Submitted my assignment to turnitin on midnight, oops to say, level of plagiarise as high as 21%. F*ck was the only word I wanna say at that moment. Ishh, thank to my dear lecturer that I am able to resubmit my assignment. Get to bed once I knew that. Once I get everything done on the next day, started to edit my work again. The feeling was just so damn shittt !!! Tension, stress, emo, these and that. I can even feel the emptiness of my soul. Just wanna get rid off it. So after a whole day of editing , I resubmit it again. Really gotta pray hard for it. Hope it will be alright so that I don't need to edit it again. I am just so sick of editing it. I already tried my best to complete it, seriously ! I am not that greedy, hoping for high marks or whatever, I wish I can get good score to satisfy myself only.

Accounting homework and CAL portfolio is waiting to be done ! Shh, restless weekend !!!

不要在一件别扭的事上纠缠太久。纠缠久了，你会烦，会痛，会厌，会累，会神伤，会心碎。实际上，到最后，你不是跟事过不去，而是跟自己过不去。无论多别扭，你都要学会抽身而退。

Assignment

2011-05-11T17:00:00.001+10:00

As you know, I am always the one who do the last minute work. Nahh, not to be proud of myself yet sometimes I really hate myself so much. Arghh, this feeling is just driving me nuts. Duhh, the worst part is that I always face dilemma when I work on somethings. The self debating as I always doubt myself whether I am on the right path or not. This is just so time-consuming and even confuse myself.

Woots, this will be my last assignment in this sem. Feeling good but actually nothing to happy of la, will have more and more in the coming sem! *Breathe* So sad to say, it is Marketing again, the one I hate. Gahh, thou we learnt on how to do referencing this and that. But then still having endless of confusion while completing this assignment. Hmm, gotta submit it to the turnitin website this thursday night. Hopefully everything will be fine. The most important thing is no plagiarism !!! *Finger-crossed*

每一次的失败，都是成功的开始；每一次的考验，都有一份的收获；每一次的泪水，都有一次的醒悟；每一次的磨难，都有生命的财富。每一次的伤痛，都是成长的支柱。每一次的打击，都是坚强的后盾；活着必定要经历一些挫折，而我们依然坚强战胜每一次挫折，只要我们还活着就值得庆幸！

Winter is coming

2011-05-08T16:34:00.003+10:00

I miss the sunshine, I miss the sunset, I miss everything related to SUN like seriously ! Haha, yea, like what they said I'm having winter depression. As winter is coming in ONE month time, the weather is getting colder and colder. It is so freaking cold early in the morning and during the night time. Gahh, all my jackets bring from Malaysia are nor longer suitable for outing, only suitable for wearing in the house.

My recent look

I know I look retarded in this photo@,@

Wearing thicker and thicker yet sometimes I found it so troublesome when I wear layers of shirts. Gahh, even at home, feel so reluctant to move with the thickness of shirts ! Used to wear t-shirts with shorts as pyjamas but now I need to wear long pants sometimes with a jacket. LOL. Don't know how and what will I look like during winter ! Haiz this weather is just so comfy and lovely to others but not me lo !!! By the way, I hope I can adopt the weather lo and don't shiver the whole night !!! Yea, I know I can make it with the heater on ~ Tehee !!!

My first and ever boots =) Say yes to UGG !!!

My bedroom slipper

What is my last decision ? I've no idea either accounting or finance or may be even both of them !

I Can Do Anything - Starting Right Now. I have my dream, I have God, and I choose to move in the direction of my goal, even when I am afraid or unsure. Whenever I fall, I stand up, brush myself off, and keep moving toward my goal.

- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Remind

2011-05-04T02:07:00.001+10:00

Hmm, lost my mind of what should I blog for today. Life getting sucks as first sem gotta end soon. I'm just so tired. Tasks follow by another tasks, test follow with another tests ! *Restless*

Thank god that I get a day off from uni every week. If not I just could not imagine what will happen when I sleep late and wake up early in the morning. Gahh, tried for 3 days continuously and I was almost dead. LOL. There's nothing interesting other than assignments and tests. I've nothing much to tell I think.

Just before I stop writing, I gotta mention this, Along my way to uni, a sudden recall of a song in my mind. Thou I couldn't remember all the lyrics but I still manage to whisper it. Tried so hard to remember the song and my tears dropped. *Sigh* Just realised how time flies. It is the song we learnt before we graduate. It is the song which reminds me of you, my dearie ex-classmates. I can still vividly remember how we learn this song and we presented it to our beloved teachers. Do you remember this song ? Do you remember how we used to get along and spent the cherish moments together ? No matter how, I will always remember the days we went through thicks and thin together and how we rocked !

朋友，你可知道，遥远地方有人想念你，
就是寂寞的我，盼你捎信来问候。
没见到你，我想念你；
见到了你，欲言又止。
我只有这一首歌，来表达我内心意。

It really significant what is in my mind now. Somehow I really miss you guys a lot and a lot and a lot more. Just knew that they might be having a class gathering during the sem break. Ouchh, so sad that I will not be there but I know my spirit will be always there whenever there's gathering. Love always 5.2

Probability

2011-05-01T15:54:00.000+10:00

Oops, here is the arrival of May. Almost forget this due to the over-stressed from studies.

Gahh, this will not be a long post as I am here just to release my tension !

No extra holiday for Labour Day, and I still have to sit for the Marketing writing test 2moro !

Hmm, I am suppose to enjoy and relax the day, right ?

Damn it ! What a long and tough test I will be getting ?

A clue a.k.a tips of 14 topics but will be only tested on 3. I wonder what is the probability of each question ?

Need to memorise more than 5000 words I think ~ arghhh ~

It is driving me nuts at this moment !!!

Hope it will be a better 2moro ~ I just wanna try my best ! Study hard yet pray hard for it !!!

Dump myself back to the book world=(

No joy

2011-04-27T14:28:00.000+10:00

No joy for parents with kids studying in Australia

PETALING JAYA: The strengthening ringgit is not doing parents with children in Australia any favour.

Although the ringgit was at 2.99 against US$1 yesterday, it stood at 3.22 against A$1.

Teacher Carey Lee, 54, now had to fork out around RM20,000 more a year compared to 2009 when the exchange rate was 2.9.

She said she might consider bringing her son back to Malaysia if he did not do well.

Lee is paying around RM100,000 a year for his studies there.

Banker David Chan, 54, said there was little Malaysian parents could do.

“It's painful that things cost the same on a dollar-to-dollar basis. For example, a plate of noodles costing RM5 is also A$5 there. That's RM16 after conversion,” he said, adding that his son still had four years to go in Adelaide.

Accountant Thomas Wong said he was amazed that the Australian economy was still strong despite the massive floods and fires there.

He said his son's school fees had jumped from RM28,000 per term to RM32,000 in the 18 months he was there.

Writer P. Steven, 43, said his burden was eased slightly after his daughter got a partial scholarship this year.

“She also moved out of the campus residence to a house. That's cheaper. She also uses a bicycle to get to campus,” he said, adding that the exchange rate was a continuous worry.

It was reported last month that there are some 23,000 Malaysian students in Australia.

Extract from the star newspaper.

Gahh, nothing much that I can say. Feel worsen after reading this article. You wouldn't know how the feeling of fear, tension and stress and the worst when they crumbled together. *Pray hard for the Aussie dollar to drop* I have got an idea, it sounds idiotic and stupid to others. I will choose the way if I fail my mission thou I don't wish it to happen at all.

Stress

2011-04-26T18:32:00.000+10:00

Argh, I wish time would stop at this moment. A sudden of feeling, a sudden of lament which were hard to explain by words. Just wish to get rid off my stressful life.

First sem gonna end soon as Final will begin on the end of May. Easter break gotta end soon as well, 2moro will be the last day for me to enjoy. And I am forced to face the reality which is killing me. Yes, driving me nuts !!! Will have to attend classes on this coming Saturday, what a sad case. Nevertheless, will have my second mid term for Marketing ! Oh damn god !!! I really hate it so much, sounds like biology to me !!! The worst part is, this is a writing test !!! Okay, then will need to rush for the stupid CAL report. Duhh, then continue by the marketing assignment which I don't even know how to do. When I finish everything, FINAL will be here and say hello to me !!!

Seriously, the 6 days break is just too short and not enough for me ! Yes, I am greedy always !!! I spent most of the time to crap and to chat online and doing nothing. I miss the lifeless days, and I want to have some of it. Can't wait for the sem break to come !!! Ishh, days getting colder and colder and sun set at the time of 530pm which is really killing me death !!! I miss the sunshine in Malaysia, I miss the sun so much. Gahh, I know winter will be even worst !

Endless of stress !!! I wish I can cope them well before I gone crazy !!!

傻孩子，别哭。别再哭了，真的不值得。把过去都尘封吧，别委屈，别不甘心，别不接受。开始新的旅程吧，去遇见新的风景，新的际遇。做你该做的事吧，有很多事还待着你去完成。

Random

2011-04-23T16:12:00.000+10:00

博上播着我是一只小小鸟
是因为两个月前刚来到这里而换上的歌曲
因为孤寂因为寂寞
所以每一天都需要音乐的陪伴
陪伴我上学陪伴我放学陪伴我的一切一切
丁当的歌当然也不例外
最兴奋的是偶然有一天发现丁当去了我哥的大学
天啊，实在是太棒了啦！多想我也在现场听一听她动人的歌声
呵呵，以下的就是我的战利品！
虽然听不见现场，看不到偶像，这个应该也很不错！！！

Stop comparing !

2011-04-22T01:23:00.000+10:00

As what I had posted in my facebook status : Stop comparing the results please, we ain't young kids anymore !!!

Arghh, they really drives me nut. Not that I wanna complain or criticize on them, but I really need a place where I can express myself. Huh, when they compared me to other students and commenting these and that, I still need to maintain the smiley look to them. Can you imagine that ? The only things I know, I was suffering at that particular moment.

Hmm, sometimes I don't mind to ask to tell people my marks, just for sharing purpose. Or even we might have any plans that we can improve together. But that, people are people, do you think that will happen ? Touch your heart and ask yourself. I'm just speaking the truth with no offence. I agreed with what Ea replied in my status. During my primary or even secondary school, thou I mind people comparing my results but I don't really feel that bad. Because sometimes good competitions can make people work harder. It sounds something like the key to work harder. But then, I still prefer it to be in that moment that generations.

Gahh, I am now in Uni man. People still use their old styles of learning and perspectives to be in here. I know and I understand that uni is much more competitive than what I've mentioned before, but I thought it should be in a more silent way ! Whatever it is, I know that a competition like this will be always healthier than the silent competition that might include back-stab this and that. May be just compare behind me or don't let me heard the dialogue of comparing please or even keep it as general as possible. Annoying will be the most suitable word when you mentioned my name and someone's name in front of us and started to compare the marks ! *Fcuk* Get rid out of my life please, we ain't young kids anymore. No matter who you compete with, your enemy of your life will always be yourself ! So what's the main reason of comparing ? Be yourself is always the best choice !

I ain't a perfect student, so please stop comparing with me !!! Wake up, people !!!

=I know I have got bad grammars ~ Huh, my english sucks and I need improvement! =

Weekend

2011-04-20T01:18:00.000+10:00

Erm, it was actually a lame weekend as I had make-up class for CAL stream B on Saturday early morning. After all I planned to skip the class as I think I would not gain any outcome from the class. Coincidentally, it rained on that morning, so I just continued my sweet dream without going the class. Yes, I felt much more happier if I did not go to class, no doubts ! I thought most of them were not going too, but too sad, the numbers of students who present was quite high for her class. Hehe ! Class started from 830am and there was only 1 student in the class !!! Imagine this please !!! Then around 9am there was another student coming. A class of TWO, one reading the text and another one answering the questions. This was really like a one-to-one tutorial class. Most of the students came during the class and some even came at 1030am! Do you know what time did the class ended ? Supposed to be 1230pm but they ended at 11am. LOL. Thank god that I was still in bed !!!

Nothing much for Saturday I think. Went to Birkenhead Point near West Ryde. Can see beautiful scenery all along the journey. It is actually a shopping mall with all factory outlets in it. Yeaa, was time to shopping again ! Hmm, I think situation will be even worst if I am hired ! Went to have lunch there. Omg, the chocolate was so awesome ! Gain weight again and again !!! Thou I only get a pair of Lewis jeans, but I was satisfied enough ! It was much more cheaper to buy it here than in Malaysia ! My first branded jeans ever in my life ! Cotton-On in here is even cheaper than in Malaysia. Ahh, thought of buying it and keep for next summer but I don't really like the styles ! So just forget about it. Shopped around and spent some of the time to enjoy the sea view of the place. I think the sun-set will be great if see from here.

Ended the simple day with long chat with friends. I need a break to refresh and recharge myself. Yayy, the coming weekends will be even fun I guess. Royal Easter Show , I'm coming !!!

告白　廖碧儿

2011-04-20T00:42:00.003+10:00

面对面
告白　廖碧儿& g' [1 j' a7 B% t
2011年04月20日

from KA by jump00d2 Z; q/ s
这一天，廖碧儿要求摄影师在访谈时停止拍照，我们答应了她的要求，结果，摄影师被请走，廖碧儿说着说着，声调变了、眼眶红了。! P4 s+ X O# V, E( W
& V; ?" s: N1 G1 X+ W( Z& `
不是为了错过公认的笋盘前男友陈豪、不是为了与富二代林忠豪发展未如理想、不是为了从去年底开始她成了公认的拜金负心人、形象插水，廖碧儿眼圈里开始有泪水打转，是说起农历年间工伤躺在病床上、右半身动弹不得，要签手术纸承担后半生可能半身不遂的风险时。
入咗医院冇人知，我本来打算出院后当咩事都冇发生过，但一日，一谂到我未必可以健健康康咁行出医院、全世界都仲未知我发生咩事、我仲未结婚、仲未生仔，可能以后都冇呢个机会……”( Q( Q3 E6 |% T% G% R& [! k
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入行10年，今年32岁，别人怎么说都好，廖碧儿从来不反击不澄清。5 g) F* X9 y8 \; d. K7 O i! k
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身高5呎7、体重52公斤，生得牛高马大，廖碧儿在别人眼中从来不会撒娇不需要保护。
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一个手术，让她决定来一个告白。9 v1 p! V$ U2 R8 Q1 }' Q+ q

什么一脚踏两船拜金狠撇前男友的指控，她说，08年已经分手，怎么成立？( J* J9 I2 [; ?% R4 S, X& c
什么相恋6年不给对方一个名分，她说，她只是一个普通女人，一直在等对方拉着她的手走出来，给她一个名分。5 ]) F1 r' T" ?. l7 Q9 m
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无敌笋盘王到底有几笋？廖碧儿说：9 Q& @! W8 Q2 Y5 n
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“当最需要有人企出嚟为自己讲一句公道话时，强求唔嚟，女人，更加要靠自己。”

入厂
去年底，被拍到埋富二代堆游船河、传出狠撇陈豪拜金黐富二代新闻，廖碧儿一直是连累好男人陈豪情伤落形的罪魁祸首。  j; x2 {( Q0 @
  C8 y$ U$ [3 {
正在拍摄处境剧《依家有喜》的廖碧儿，处理绯闻的作风十年如一日，不回应也不澄清。1月剧集杀青、廖碧儿突然失踪，直到3月中才传出曾经在养和接受“外科大手术”的消息。
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“受伤系旧年11月尾嘅事，我喺中环石板街拍《依家有喜》，简简单单一场边行边讲嘅戏，事前仲排过几次添，踩空脚扽亲腰。
当时唔觉好痛，到第二、三日开始发作，每场戏导演一嗌cut，都痛到要即时揾嘢扶住。我唔系轻易嗌痛嘅人，系监制见到唔对路迫我点都去睇吓，直到套剧拍完，我入过三次急症室。冇人想因为一个人影响成套播紧嘅剧嘅进度，我食住止痛药忍到煞科，再飞咗两次出席海外活动，最后一个trip实在上唔到机被迫cancel，终于要入院。”% t, p$ E- w6 i) U  k' ?
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具体伤势，廖碧儿说是腰骨移位兼碎裂，情况复杂需要接受手术，住院加休养超过一个月，至今每周要接受物理治疗，目前回复情况是能穿高跟鞋、行走动作暂不受影响，未来能否回复以往打得又跳得的状态，还是未知之数。  c- l4 ?/ }- |6 o* ]

最糟糕时，瞓喺医院张床，右半边身痛到郁唔到。我唔钟意对住人喊、唔想父母为我担心，但有段日子根本痛到忍唔住眼泪，唔喊，我唔知仲可以做乜。我自细跳舞、入行后学跆拳道、学咏春，竟然唔系吊威吔、唔系打戏受伤，行几步路都出事，你话做人几化学？瞓喺病床，想努力郁吓手指、脚趾都郁唔到，最惊就系失去咗本来拥有嘅嘢，而啲嘢每个人与生俱来，你以为理所当然、最简单嘅能力。”

与李泽楷表弟林忠豪的绯闻传足半年，2月尾出院不久，廖碧儿就被拍到与林忠豪在坑口食意菜：“尽量唔想影响朋友，但总会见面，我行动不便，所以喺屋企附近约佢食饭。”《苹果日报》图片

去年8月，廖碧儿被拍到与富豪朋友游船河，首度传出她密会ABC富二代。
领悟
入院之时，正是绯闻炒得最热闹，全港媒体集体批判廖碧儿拜金薄幸、怜悯陈豪被伤害得落晒形之时，廖碧儿说，当时没站出来，是因为家人一致认同，当务之急是完成手术恢复身体，其他的，下一步再算。
“个个都觉得我好tough，因为我企得出嚟，从来都系笑唔会喊，呢一次，我都唔想俾fans担心、又无谓俾人觉得我借入院扯开话题，谂住由头到尾冇人知咩事，几个月后健健康康行番出嚟当咩事都冇发生过。
_
直到签纸做手术，先至识惊，原来我未必可以健健康康自己出院，我仲未结婚未有机会有小朋友o架……入行十年，我冇停过，呢次可能系神想我停一停，畀我一个机会好好谂吓事业、生活、感情。我记得21岁入行时，心愿系24岁结婚生仔，家姐大我3年，啱啱生咗第2个小朋友，细佬细我3年，都做咗爸爸。不知不觉，咁就行咗另一条路，心愿迟咗8年都未有机会达成。”$ g2 \5 n0 b% n2 z
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我问廖碧儿，入院期间，有没有哪一任前男友探访过，她说：“冇”。被全民指摘贪钱负心时，希望有人站出来为她说话吗？她说：“想。”
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“公众人物冇所谓私隐，私隐都系公开；公众人物亦不能太我行我素，因为好多小朋友因为我养狗学跳舞，社会义务一定会有；我明白食得咸鱼抵得渴道理，但系当传闻开始失控，我形象的确受损，出院后屋企人开始读新闻畀我听，解释我知咩叫拜金、咩系贪钱时，我先至知原来咁严重。乐小姐（乐易玲）同屋企人，仲有教会朋友都支持我，系时候出嚟为自己讲嘢。
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点解会一脚踏两船？明明08年已经分咗手！7 c, B# b' c( X. P# P- d
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点解要话我一直唔畀对方名分？我系一个女仔，乜名分唔系要男仔畀女仔嘅咩？”

明明08年已经分咗手！点解要话我一直唔畀对方名分？我系一个女仔，乜名分唔系要男仔畀女仔嘅咩？
真相
听到这里，问题来了。如果08年已经分手，什么狠撇、花心的罪名的确就不能成立，只要新闻里所谓三角恋情的受害者出来讲一句话，就能轻易挽回女方的名声，不过，从头到尾，那个人没有这么做。廖碧儿说：& `% y  n4 |2 Z) r6 T0 g9 k$ A
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“冇人企出嚟帮我讲嘢，冇得强求，所以呢件事发生以后，我更加相信，女人，真系要靠自己。”# u. ]% M/ D3 l0 M% p
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“对普通人嚟讲，一段感情关系好正常不过，但呢行嘅人自然会明白，有好多嘢要顾：到底公唔公开好呢？对自己形象适唔适当呢？着唔着数呢？”
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着数？“即系对形象影响系正面定负面。唔系我计，我唔知人哋有冇计，up to个人视事业、形象定感情边样最重要。做呢行，我冇谂过最大影响系，出到街遇到行人，我唔识你，但系你识我、对我已经有好多睇法。
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一套剧集成功、一对情侣档受观众欢迎，我明白观众自然希望你哋真系一对、可以一齐。所以咁多年嚟，就算冇人认过拍拖，我哋都俾人当系一对。: Q4 }& K6 T2 b0 c
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08年就算分咗手，工作场合、公司安排，难免又会碰到，05年《心花放》（陈豪、廖碧儿定情后不久的情侣档剧集）最近又喺海外播紧，我都明白，两个人想完，都唔可以真系完。”
过去的就让他过去，现在廖碧儿自认单身，虽然甫出院就被拍到与林忠豪在家附近叹意大利菜，廖碧儿说对方的身份暂时还是朋友，比起养好身体，感情发展目前不是当务之急。
Y
“过去十年，每个人都同我讲，做呢行，唔好错过任何一个机会，我唔知道、亦唔后悔因为咁自己错过咗几多。家，我会谂吓，工作应唔应该接、自己系唔系应付到，我亦都想，放慢脚步，揾到一个人，对我绝对忠诚绝对信任，愿意同我生小朋友，最重要系摆我喺第一位，知道我几时需要佢。因为我经历过，有个人唔摆我行先，第一位无论系形象又好、工作又好，总之唔系我。”

10年前回港拍剧，父亲干脆从加拿大回流香港跟在女儿身边，帮忙看剧本、照顾起居。廖碧儿说这次受伤入院，在身边的也只有家人：“妈咪、家姐同细佬都返咗嚟，冇人比屋企人更撑我。”《苹果日报》图片+ V& I/ b;

有个人唔摆我行先，第一位无论系形象又好、工作又好，总之唔系我。3 U, g P* k4 @0 n
小女人

访问中，有一句话，廖碧儿说过两次。
乜名分唔系男人畀女人嘅咩？我都想有一日，被人拖住介绍，我系佢女朋友。”
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我以为这句话的重点是，当那个人出现，廖碧儿愿意拖着他走出来公告天下。2 s1 M8 u: x- q1 N" r8 X1 g- H
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廖碧儿忙否认：“唔系我拖佢，系佢拖住我，我企喺佢背后，等佢嚟公布……”2 \ j2 T2 ^# T

生得大份，又是舞林兼武林高手，廖碧儿说拍戏最常遇到的状况是，剧组人员先入为主以为她是十项全能女铁人，安排些攀山涉水的高难度动作：
“其实我唔系乜都识，其实我连水都唔识游……”* d8 x3 |! x2 O5 m8 ?$ ]inwei

对于明星，我们的认识都是从娱乐新闻开始的。0 o5 m! ^# w8 g) }6 j: [2 v- P' u
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如果镜头前的廖碧儿，其实只是个希望站在男人背后的小女人，女铁人不是女铁人，那么，笋盘王还是笋盘王吗？

最近的新闻是非闹得满城风雨的，虽然这只是一片简单的报道，但，足以看透一切。要的不是证明，正是说不是拜金女还是什么的，而是从这些日子里，看见的是Bernice的坚强、容忍和宽恕。心疼的是她腰受伤了，要入院，还得笑着的面对记者还有那些无谓的杂志。每次给观众展示的都是她的快乐和笑容，其实不知道私底下受了多少的委屈、哭过多少次！一切都是人生的历练，相信坚强的Bernice明天一定会更好！！每当朋友问起我，为什么会把她当成偶像的时候，我都回答不出答案。现在我可以很大声地说，因为她有我值得去钦佩去仰慕的态度！这是我们作为粉丝最值得学习之道！Stay tough and you are not alone !!!

2 months

2011-04-16T20:56:00.000+10:00

Time really flies, and I'm now officially be here in Sydney for 2 months. I still vividly remember my first post about my arrival and the second post that a month in here.

Talking about 2 months here. Finished my mid-term test and now is time where I am overload with all kinda assignments. One report and one marketing report on hand. Talking about mid term, I was quite satisfied with my results but I know I can do it better. Get only Distinction for both the subjects. Thou, I know there's still quite distance between Distinction and High Distinction, but I will try hard to achieve it. Gahh, just wish I can cope them and pass them all with flying colours. First sem is going to end soon, very soon in June. Hopefully I am able to do my very best !

Next will be communication problem. After 2 months of suitable stage, it is now much more easier to communicate with my classmates. Yes, may be we even build up our understand between. Argh, finally we no need to translate our words and no need keep repeating ourselves because of one things. Hope the situation can still be improved. On the other hand, know more about my other classmates recently. Had a great chat with them in english class because the lecturer did not feel like teaching at all. We will have lots of time to know more and chat more in the future !

The last things to mention, I think I should search for a part time job now. Ahhh, actually I am quite nervous due to the unknown and the feeling of insecure. Must be brave to face all the circumstances and difficulties. Wish me lucks guys. Can't wait for the Easter Break to come !!!

Peace

2011-04-13T18:25:00.001+10:00

Hooray, is Wednesday ! The day that I am looking for, at least I can rest because I have no class today. Wake up quite late because I slept late yesterday night, chatting with my online friends.

Woke up refreshing and thought today will be a good good day. Who knows day might turned up this way. While I was browsing facebook, I saw one of my junior posted a bad news. I thought it was only rumor so I didn't put much attention on it. Later only I found out that it is a real news ! My form 5 history teacher passed away this morning. Felt so bad for her leaving as her was a good teacher yet she was very young. Just couldn't believe it ! Still remember the day we finished spm history paper and the way she had faith with me that I can score well. And the day I received my result ! Time really flies that it was 2 years ago.

Nothing much I can do, other than pray for her. Rest in peace, cikgu ! And a small prompt for all my fellow friends, please take care of your health while you strive to achieve what you want in life! Remember to treasure life before is not too late ! Miss you guys so much !!!

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:smile, open your eyes, love and go on..

Lonely

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。。。

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陳豪林保怡黃德斌 - 年少無知

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告白　廖碧儿