On top of my normal routines or responsibilities, I have been learning the bookkeeping stuffs for one of the subs by myself for quite sometime. I've tried my best and learnt whatever I can however there're too many hidden steps and too many data that I don't even have access to it. Sometimes repetition just doesn't work in certain circumstances. The one who in charge of the task previously was missing in action, in the middle of resigning process. There's no one for me at all. I was so helpless and hopeless at the same time, worse when you're well known for your sotong behaviour. Had to have 2 cups of coffee per day, sometimes even coke to make sure I have enough caffeine for me to hang in there.
It was more like a mission impossible to learn and to master them in such a short period, under stress. And when my boss set a dateline to complete the task, all I feel is stress. Stress overloaded. Tried to talk to my bosses and hint them that the task is beyond my capabilities. They have faith on me and asked me to believe them. Sometimes I am not sure whether it's a good or bad thing. But to be honest, they never turn me down, like seriously never. Even if they do, I know it's for my sake of learning. I feel so much better after talking to them each time. The only thing I can do is to believe in myself and go beyond the limit.
It's good to have positive spirit, but when you need a hand, you still do. Thankfully someone who had experience dealing with the finance matter gave me a hand else I would never be able to complete it. Had to OT at home for 2 nights to finish the work, once in a blue moon. And at least I feel so much better after shower thou it's super tired to wake up on time to work. I know I am still pretty lucky as compared to my friends as they need to OT almost everyday. So no complain.
Sense of satisfaction. Thou I'm kinda still waiting for my boss to review my job but yea, can't wait to say IT'S A FREAKING WRAP! Even if it's just for a while, it's still a wrap ! Ugh seems like they want me to learn new stuffs again next week, hopefully I won't stress out again.
Why do I need to work this hard when you're given that little amount of pay? I am really that keen to learn, to prove to my boss that I am capable or I am just pretending to be dedicated? I don't know why, but it seems so weird to come across these questions. Well, my answer is simple and easy. As long as I would have the chance and opportunity to learn and to grow, it's believed that the sense of satisfaction would outweigh everything else. I really hope that I would not be driven by the power of money but my passion and curiosity that will lead me further in my profession. Damn semangat, berkobar-kobar LOL.
It's weekend and time for me to be a couch potato, like again.