Monday, December 23, 2013

胡言乱语之stress

不知所措什么也办不了的时候,
除了沉默,
真的就只有躲在房间里继续写blog。


Don't believe and put your trust into someone just because they say the things you want to hear.
一直都认为说只要把事情策划好,那么一切就可以很顺利的依计划行事。嗯,还是那句:我太天真的以为,自以为是!在这短短的日子里,残酷的现实告诉我说做人有充足的准备固然是好事,但面对突如其来的改变,除了束手无策还是束手无策。 短,因为summer break都还没到一半,我就已经历了两次。觉得有点多,不,是很多。虽然说planning可以很flexible,兵来将挡。你可以花一个月甚至是一年又或者是一辈子的是件来planning,就算是十拿九稳的事,只需要一个突如其来的消息或者是一个人做出简单的amendment,一切就再也不一样了。眼见就快要成功的事,就这样化为乌有!Planning真的有那么重要吗?


说真的事情发生后,我的第一个反应是我后悔了,自找没趣。早早说回家不就没事了咯!不过也好啦,至少有我在,姑姑不会那么不知所措。她stress的结果,就是我stress;然后我stress加stress后,她就会更加更加的stress。看来我需要保持很cool,然后必须要收敛下我的情绪。tmd不要跟我随便mood swing,不然结果会很难堪!说实在,这两次事情的发生和结果都与我无关。其实我只是事情里的路人甲,但始终被牵涉在内,多多少少还是有些影响的。*悲剧 *
Well, 很多时候还是置身其外好。受到保护是件好事来,因为很害怕去年的那一件事案件重演,然后在这水深火热的状况下伤口上加盐!

Duhh 看来我又胡言乱语,废话连篇了。

也许是件会冲淡一切?见步行步。

The only things can be done : Expect the unexpected !!!
Wish for the best and prepare for the worst situations as you don't know how evil people can be. Hope everything will be smooth sailing thou. Ahh, I have to pray hard that nothing serious or hurting will be happening during and after this f**king trip. If possible until CNY for my aunt, else she will be like superb stressing and hurting like again.

把自己当自己。此语最为重要。人生最大的敌人,不是别人,而是自己,战胜了自己,便攻无不克、战无不胜。把自己当自己,就是要求自己不要和自己过不去,别 为一个小小的职位、一份微薄的报酬,甚至是他人一些闲言碎语,一个不屑的眼神而怒发冲冠,要以平静淡泊的心态去面对种种荣辱得失和情仇恩怨。

Sunday, December 22, 2013

那一晚很emo...

那一晚很emo, 这篇博是之前不懂是在什么状况激起,感触之下而手写的。每次写完了文后,情绪就慢慢地恢复了。如果现在我不慢慢一字一句的打出来,也许这篇文就会被我遗忘掉,不当做一回事了。PS. 这篇博写了很多的心声,也写了很多很多的废话,所以还是那句 please read at your own risk !!! 除此之外,如果你想告诉我说忠于自己的看法,不必理会别人怎么说,那我想说真的很谢谢你的提点。不过就因为我忠于我自己的观点,才有感而言,所以才会写出这一篇blog。

其实在这个年头,不管你做什么事都会有不同的回应。当然,不同的人,必定会有不同的看法,不同的观点。不过当观点设立在不同的事上时,很自然的就会有不同的回想。说实在,这个年头,做人真的好不容易阿!黑与白,是与非,对与错。这世界上不是黑就黑,错就错吗?原来我已经慢慢的开始分不清楚这一线之差的定义了。

因为无聊,随便在网上找了几部电影来看,而《一夜惊喜》就是其中一部。电影里的女主角说从小到大一直都很努力过着别人想要我过的生活,做一个大家眼中的乖乖女。老实说,这句话真的一点都没错!我哥算是一个比较problematic的小孩,经常惹到父母很头疼。所以从小就很努力不让自己犯错;小错难免会有,毕竟人谁无过。一直很努力当个大家眼中的“乖乖女”,尽量不要让父母担心,难过。就算让父母掉泪,当然那必须是喜而泣之的泪水。在自我很严格的环境里成长,我发现这些绑手绑脚的“规则”却慢慢的成为了规策我未来的绊脚石。我不是有意要提起这事,我只是觉得说,人生的道路上必须有这些经历才会变得更坚强完美。丁当的离家出走歌词里唱到:“温室的花朵,看不见彩虹;世界有风雨,才会有彩虹”。

话说回头,渐渐地我已经分不清对与错,是与非。这说法有一点太普遍,举例说驾车好了。老实说考到了车牌到现在,我未曾正式地开过车。以前曾经要求父母给我尝试驾车地经历。不过他们实在是太神经质,实在受不了他们所给的压力,所以之后不再要求。当然,他们也不当一回事。呵呵,所以到现在我还是不会开车。你可以说我是胆小甚至是懦弱,根本没有guts开车,因为我对开车地热忱早已被磨光了。

不知道为什么这么一小件事,竟然可以造就别人闲言闲语的机会。Well, 这时候应该有人就会说,你根本不必搭理别人怎么说,做你自己就对了!这个我必须懂得,只是听多听就了觉得很不耐烦;想把事情给分析一下,表明我自己的看法而已。他们总是爱说,就算爸妈不允许还是什么的,我总可以偷偷地趁他们不在的时候拿了钥匙就开车走人。说这一句话,真的和简单!他们也经常爱把想当年我们也只不过是如此挂在嘴边。真的如果没有包袱、没有忧虑、可以不顾一切的想做什么就做什么,也许我真的会这么做。以我的性格,真的没有谁可以阻挡了我的!想了想,如果大家真的是像他们说的一样,未熟练驾驶而造成的车祸、死亡的机率真的不堪设想。真的不希望这些人是为了说话而说话,为了强词夺理而说道理。

当然你可以选择认为我做的决定是不想顶撞或违背我父母的意愿。可是我还是忠于我自己的
想法,没有必要为了满足自己一刹那的快感而冒这个险。这是我深思后的决定!当然必须要补充一句,我脑子根本从未出现过这所谓的疑问!如果我真的是选择了他们所说的就算不会开车拿了钥匙就走人,那会否又演变成叛逆等的行为呢?到时候除了会制造更加多的麻烦以外,还会让更加多的三姑六婆有机会说三道四,甚至会被说成爸妈不懂得管教孩子而已。当然,这些都只是我的假设,what if而已,不过这些outcomes 都是我们平时生活所见的。就连迟睡或是不听从家长的一句话而有的结论。

一件事总会有正负两面,真的就视乎我们如何去看待这整件事情而已!那么一件事就早就我这么感慨,当然也不只这一件事。。。

不说其它的事,说说交际方面吧。我不是个人见人爱,车见车载的女生。念书时,也不像其他同学一样有固定的群体。呵呵,想当年我虽说不上是讨人厌,不过嘴巴确实是蛮贱的,所以往往自讨没趣。也许那时候早已一个人,没朋友;只是自己总天真的以为说自己身边有很多的朋友,往往都是一大班的朋友一起出动;但自从离开了高中以后,才醒悟原来我从头到尾都只是一个人。以前所谓的朋友,都只不过是班上为了作业为了功课的学习战友而已。叶子的歌词里写到:孤单 是一个人的狂欢;狂欢 是一群人的孤单。毕业了以后开始失去话题,慢慢的就失去联系。很多时候真的就是我以为,自以为是而已。。。

到college时,情况稍有改善,但因为实在无法忍受假情假意、人前说人话、利字当头等的友谊,所以结局还是一样。当然,有进步就是件好事,我也开始知道说我本身是不善于表达自己的想法。哈哈,或许妈妈已经把最好的给了哥!不是什么比较,只是在说事实。到了澳洲这里念书,因为种种的原因,沟通的机会少了;加上曾经经历失败,沟通时也特别小心。当然,已经开始懂得说话的重要性了。没有住在学校宿舍什么的,加上我不是个热于参与活动的人,所以相比之下认识朋友的机会也跟着减少了。话说,我这个人还真的很奇怪。其实我是爱说话的,不过只是在当遇到对的人对的话题时才愿意滔滔不绝地说话。说真的,我不是很希望把时间浪费在应酬所谓地朋友身上。我宁愿选择一个人也宁可没有冷场没有无聊对白的“应酬”。说实在,其实我还是忠于那个有话直说,有屁快放,那直率的自己。如果拐弯抹角的说话,那我跟那些假仁假义的朋友又有什么差别呢!

原本在马来西亚时,我的朋友就不多。跟老朋友、同学见面,我通常也只会见到那几位朋友而已。也许这就是射手座吧,人生只需要三位朋友!三位,一生人只需要有人在我需要帮助时扶我一把的朋友,一位出席我婚礼及一位出席我葬礼的朋友。朋友根本不需要常联系,但一碰面,就会有三天三夜都聊不完的话题。这才是交友意义的所在。放假,在家,无所事事已经是我最享受最渴望的事。也许这是因为我从小到大,就算学校放假两个月,我的所谓的旅行也就是其中一天去槟城一趟而已。所以也许因为这样,而造就我就算不需要出门也可以很满足;哪怕是一个人,只要有冷气、有得上网、看电视剧,我真的就满足了!

其实我不明白的是,出门有活动就代表充实了吗?其实,我真的不是那么认为。我知道这不是很健康的生活习惯,不过在这时代,现在生活里很多人约朋友哦出门时,也不是在各玩各的手机,各上个的网!嗯,经历过了。最不爽的是还是聊天到一半听见说,你等等我回一下msg先,然后就这样不自觉的打断了话题。更或许是,原本聊得挺开心的时候,不知道为什么朋友就会说出了一句,闷咯。嗯,既然约我出门是如此不堪的事,那就继续呆在家吧!难道这些就是所谓的良性健康的沟通?真的如果,那我们又何必出门呢!

Well, one can't please everyone!  还记得每次回家时,爸妈有时候都会忍不住说了一句,你可以有一分钟呆在家里吗?可以不要再出门了吗?选择留在家里的我,对,因为没有人要约我,在这里却被说我有社交问题!难道出了门,就代表没问题?如果真的有问题,不去对症下药把问题给解决了,出不出门,问题依旧还在!为什么当大家在忙于赴约时,我也必须跟着大队呢?如果不是纯粹跟风,这是什么?难道如果不跟大伙儿一样就表示有问题吗?在现实生活中,在团队里生活固然重要。但是别忘了许多的发明家在发明一件物品时、作家在完成写作时,都是一个人独处去完成的!如果大家都忙于跟风,那这世界剩下的是什么?创意、个人风格等字眼或许早已不存在。我只是想表明立场,没有说我自己有什么潜能。

为什么我们就不能简简单单的去看待这件事呢?为什么就不能把各自独特的审美观去评论每一件时呢?我么不是常说做人要学会去接受每一个独特的大家吗?but too bad, 事实却是相反的!一种米养白种人。每一个人都有自己独特的性格和待人处事的方式,更有独特的创造能力,那么很多时候我们为何要改变自己去迎合大家呢?其实这句话很有争论性,因为真的只适合一些situation而已。有时候适当的调整是必须的,可是当你越陷越深,无法自拔,甚至是失去自我时或许说什么都已经太迟了。。。

很久没有手写中文了,拿起笔才发现原来很多文字已经忘了怎么写...



人生如行路,一路艰辛,一路风景。你的目光所及,就是你的人生境界。总是看到比自己优秀的人,说明你正在走上坡路;总是看到和自己差不多的人,说明你差不多在混日子;总是看到不如自己的人,说明你正在走下坡路。与其埋怨世界,不如改变自己。管好自己的心,做好自己的事,比什么都强。



30.11.2013

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Count down

10, 9, 8... 3, 2, 1
Counting down the days and it's now time to face the reality.
Will be receiving results for final semester in less than 18 hours time.
I don't know why it sounded so scary but the feelings are way worsen than SPM.
I think I am doing good, duhh, it sounds so self-praising.
But there're still uncertainty that out of my controls.
But no matter what will be, actually I've nothing to lose.
I am ready to face the truth. Hehe, I hope I am as brave as what I'd written down.

Footprint in the sand

Best wishes to myself, and yes I am praying, hoping for a better GPA, I know I am not good, but at least an acceptable overall GPA. I've tried my best, and will let tuhan to do the rest...




总不能 流血就喊痛 怕黑就开灯 想念就联系 疲惫就放空 被孤立就讨好 脆弱就想家 不要被现在而蒙蔽双眼 终究是要长大 最漆黑的那段路终要自己走完 现在的这些那些也将会被时间抛在脑后 所以 不要害怕

Monday, December 9, 2013

Time flies

Time flies, and here comes my last night here in Gold Coast. Time really flies when you really enjoyed yourself, ahh how I wish I can have a longer holidays here. Duhh, I should be appreciated as much as I could as this trip wasn't mean for me at the first place, so I am feeling grateful for everything that I'd enjoyed over here.
I like blue sky and beaches, however I hardly soak myself in the water as I feel embarrass to wear the swimwear and also I don't like the feeling at all. But I really enjoy every single moment especially when I wakes up in the morning with the sound of the waves. That's heaven, simply heaven. Nothing can beat this simplistic of nature.  Duhh, my aunt said I am weird as I am kinda person tat easily feels bored but I like this kinda stuffs LOLL.
It's time to wake up and back to reality. Results is releasing soon, like seriously in few days time. Walao ehh, how to be mentally prepared for this ?! I guess, this is the final countdown ... Counting down the days and it's now ... 10, 9, 8..., 3 ...
Best oof luck is all I can say. 
Stay ttune, and I will update my Gold Coast as I hope I won't remember it in my life ;)



Thursday, December 5, 2013

All of Sudden

I am not sure whether I have any reader following my blog, actually. It has been a while that I did not post about my trips, or may be never in this blog. As I tended to be slacked and if I post I will be kinda long-winded which I hate the most. 

However, I think there is a need for me to blog about my current trip. It is just out of sudden. Thou it was pending like for almost a day, but can u believe I bought my ticket and packed my stuffs like within 20 minutes and 2 hours later I am in the airport, waiting to board. Seriously, I think this is just crazy but once I get to enjoy the view and breeze of Gold Coast, yea worth it !!! 

Okay, can't help but to grumble like an old auntie. The trip initially was meant for my aunt, uncle ( her bro) and three kids to enjoy their family time here in Gold Coast. Everything was planned and paid like 3 months ahead, and everyone was like so excited for the trip. Unfortunately, good things did not last for long. My uncle was not allowed to board when they are about to depart and the reason was they have not valid prove to support on their trip. So initially we thought that this incident happened because of the strict australian policies that try to reduce the risk of those illegal workers without valid visas. FYI, yea, Gold Coast is one of the famous places for Malaysian to come in and work illegally according the Border Security show that I've watched. So they will ask a lot of questions like where are you going to stay, where are you planning to go and how are you going to spend your days and do you have enough cash/money to live on and etc. For some circumstances, you will even need prove to show that you're financially independent to visit here. Chaos la. 

Back to the topic, we have prepared everything in advance, including my aunt's working permit, pay slips, bank statements and the theme park tickets and also hotel bookings. It's really a lot to do, and we thought they were pretty enough to be valid evidences. Unfortunately this was not the case, but at that time we weren't sure the main reason of rejection so they went to the Australian embassy to sort of this issue. In the meantime, the tourist agent still helping them to re-apply for the visa, hoping that miracle could happen. I don't really sure about the processes that took place, but their second applications were rejected again, and again they did not provide any reason. This made everything worst, as we started to make up our own assumptions and opinions, like duhh. 

Things were in a very confused situation and kinda rushing as I had to go to uni to sort out my IELTS test arrangement so I couldn't decide whether to follow my aunt to Gold Coast during the noon. Because my mind could not stop thinking of the questions like what if they are able to come ? Hotel will be alright but one car could not fit in 6 people ( it gotta be a very crazy moment if they manage to come). So I left everything till the very last second, even refuse to pack my bags earlier as the "what if" I need to unpack them later and all craps questions. Hmm, the only regret was I could not accompany or should I say join my cousin sis is currently in sydney, but it's alright they are enjoying themselves. 

And yes, so finally the high commissioner called them up and explained about their situation. And then only we were like okay, no doubt, but we have to accept the decision. They were not allowed to board because they had applied for migration to aus but it was not successful about 2 years ago. According to the law or policies, once they got rejected for the application, they are not allowed to step into aussie for a period of 3 years. However, this important information or should I categorise it as disclaimer has not been told. The kids actually visited sydney in the first year of the rejection period and they admitted that it was actually a mistake because they only found out they came into aus when they're leaving. LOL, what a funny yet clumsy situation was it ?! Was it purely human error or it was actually system faulty or failure of the management process ? Can we actually claim for compensation because they canceled the visa at the very last minute i.e during departure time ? Who the heck knows about this ? The efforts, mentally and emotional stresses and money that are invested in this trip, seriously nothing can be compensated. Adults were worried, kids were crying, and yes everyone of them were depressed. 

Can't help but life is full of WTF. You can plan anything ahead, but one small incident can alter the whole plan. Maybe just go as our heart wishes and everything will be fine. I think after this lesson learnt, I won't wanna really plan my trip anymore, duhh. And so since everything is paid, yes, I am the back-up plan. Since my aunt is already in Gold Coast and I am having my summer breakie now, just bought a ticket and taddaa here comes my impromptu trip. Can you imagine this is actually my third trip to Gold Coast (within my 3 years of studies) ? It sounds a bit ridiculous, like I am such a bitchie rich asshole. Ooops, unfortunately I am not. First time was with the kids, but my trip was only 2 days visit due to an unexpected exam. Second trip was also meant for them, but their mom (separated family) refused to let them come and said that she will make police report @.@ So I was the back-up plan for 2012. And guess what, yes, I am the back-up plan like again. But never mind la, everything worth it.


In the domestic airport, while waiting to board. 


1st trip in 2011, visited Movie World. 
2nd trip in 2012, visited Dream World.
3rd trip in 2013, booked for 3 parks but I guess I am going only for the Movie World ( new rides) and Sea World, not really interested in the Wet and Wild park. 

Hopefully everything will be going smoothly. Hopefully I will have time to visit Brisbane, it sounds ridiculous like I came here for the third time but never been to brisbane, so it's gonna be a must go thingy. Stay tune for most photos, if I have the time. Off to bed, bloody tired due to the heat this afternoon =(


One of the night views from my balcony


生活就是一场修行,修自己的耐心、恒心、平常心。如果能够承受巨大的失落,眼看着美好被岁月和生活消耗。如果还能在这样的现实中,保持创造和热爱,那我们就是真正的强大了。就像罗曼·罗兰说的那样:“只有一种英雄主义,就是在认清生活真相之后依然热爱生活。”——《慢慢来,让灵魂跟上来》

Monday, December 2, 2013

一切会更好的

A-Lin 的四季里唱着这一句等待天亮,好好大哭一场 再让眼泪风干,在微笑中释放。嗯,今晚因为一句话,我又莫名的emo了,结果就哭了起来。不知道是不是距离成绩揭晓的日子越来越逼近了,我的压力就也越来越大。这种感觉实在不好受,感觉很神经质的,一时可以很兴奋一时可以很emo。很傻很笨甚至很呆吧?对我来说,这也算是一种有效的解压方式吧。哭完的感觉好多了,至少整个人轻松多了。

今天在facebook po的文,嗯,确实很emo,因为自从上大学以后已经很少在fb po很emo很负面的post了。我不是想要博同情更不是想要引人注目,只是纯粹想还自己一点自由、一个属于自己的空间;至少不必去在乎别人的看法、闲言闲语。真的 I don't care, I couldn't care less。选了林宥嘉的我总是一个人在练习一个人,加上这些文字:

其实没有朋友并不可怕,可怕的是有一大堆的朋友到你寂寞孤单的时候却找不到人陪伴。要考ielts (不过hamikk sai都还没有准备), 如何安排时间, 如何延续/申请visa等的手续。手续真的真TMD烦。什么都不会也不过如此,还要不停的被长辈指责说我浪费时间、不懂得安排时间有的没有的话。以前很天真的和朋友许下承诺说彼此就会像count on me的歌词一样,原来那只是我太傻太天真。。。到最后我还是一个人在练习一个人。。。要说的话说完了,嗯,我相信我们会更好的,一切都会更好的。。。

写下了心情,引来了从未like过我的post的朋友like我的post,重点是短时间内很多人like (其实是少过10个,不过对于我这种人缘不好的人来说有点多了);两个老同学的关怀,真的我必须要谢谢你们;还有uni围观的同学。无论如何,还是那句话。我只是想好好的express一下我当下的心情还有反映我要反映的事。嗯,是友谊。其实我有我要投射的对象,只是感慨随着时间的转移,我曾经的好朋友好知己已不再是知己了。不知道哪天,剩下的会不会就只是个陌生的路人?

这个世界上你认识那么多的人,那么多人和你有关,你再怎么改变也不能让每个人都喜欢你,所以还不如做一个自己想做的人。—— 几米
我们很多的痛苦,不是已经拥有的太少,而是我们对未来期待的太多。比如做一件事,总想遵照自己的意愿,失之毫厘便觉得谬以千里;比如爱一个人,总想对方是自己渴望的模板,略有出入就认为格格不入。要知道 你不是世界的主宰,不必对外界和他人期望过高,否则,你就会在这个旋转的舞台上迷失自己。

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Random after exam

忙、茫、盲的日子总算到一段落了,如果说没有兴奋肯定是假的。考完audit时就有种莫名的兴奋,不过这种感觉很快就消失了。因为开始担心自己的表现不好,担心这个那个的,机上还需要专注最后一张paper,所以很快就冷静下来了。考完math却因为自己的表现不咋样,所以有点不满足。加上那天下大雨被卡在学校,根本兴奋不起。当然,无论如何还是必须祈祷
希望可以考取好成绩顺利毕业。

是时候收拾整理下自己的情绪,策划一下接下来的plan。虽然没有具体的plan,不过还是需要有个底,不然真的会崩溃到疯掉。也许我应该趁着这个假期,慢慢开始写回部落格,找回那个从前的我。








其实,我很累了,我习惯假装坚强,习惯了一个人面对所有,我不知道自己到底想怎么样。有时候我可以很开心的和每个人说话,可以很放肆的,可是却没有人知道,那不过是伪装,很刻意的伪装;我可以让自己很快乐很快乐,可是却找不到快乐的源头,只是傻笑。

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

加油

当 走到最后
进入最后的倒数阶段
所有的复习貌似起不了作用
我不知道是成功还是失败
但 我坚信 尽力就好

明天加油


今天再大的事,到了明天就是小事;今年再大的事,到了明年就是故事;今生再大的事,到了来世就是传说。人生如行路,一路艰辛,一路风景。你的目光所及,就是你的人生境界。总是看到比自己优秀的人,说明你正在走上坡路;总是看到不如自己的人,说明你正在走下坡路。与其埋怨,不如思变。

Monday, November 11, 2013

观点

其实没有什么,只是突然的感慨而已~先说明我不是神也不是圣人,只是纯粹的想表达我的观点。也许这只是学以致用,利用capstone unit 里所学到的知识而已。嗯,have to think out of the square and think from different perspectives before drawing conclusion!!!

还记得那天看过一则国际新闻:内容大概是说加拿大的登山客失踪3个月,没几天粮食及独木舟就遭野熊破坏,他靠着心爱的宠物德国狼犬赶跑野熊才保住一命。但三天后他为生存,只得忍痛将爱犬砸死果腹维生!(quote from 光华日报)


新闻一被po上facebook,就一大堆人说什么打死都不会吃掉自己的狗狗、宁愿跟狗狗一起饿死、甚至有人比喻成,如果人类肚子饿了是不是可以残忍到把自己的孩子吃掉?当然,我不可以否认这一点。可是这些人躲在键盘后面说风凉话,这又有什么意义呢?看到他们的评论,对这个世界突然感觉到很失望。这个世界到底是怎么了?为什么不愿意为生还者给予祝福而盲目的去追究已经无法挽回的事实?

一位网友shxrx khxr说到:我不是他不懂他当时处境,不过很多假仁慈的大炮仙都可怜他的狗而不是说他为了活下去连狗肉都敢吃,还是自己的爱犬。如果他有其他求生方法就不会吃自己的爱犬,假设在没有野果只剩不知能不能吃的树根和叶子你敢在求生情况下乱吃?能靠狗肉活三个月已是奇迹了,不是普通探险家做得到的。野生的生物或鱼类是不可能以人类的速度获捕的,就算艰难捕获还要给狗吃一份而且也废了原本应该拿来找出口的力气,很明显他是经过考量才把狗杀了。给他赞还差不多。真的,我很认同他的看法。虽然觉得吃掉自己的狗狗很残忍,可是基于生存的意志力,这位登山勇士真的勇气可嘉!

嗯,看过就算了~可是没想到过了两天吧,在on call 2里突然feel到了很熟悉的情节。嗯,这次是人类的故事情节。鱼仔因为病情复发,为了做化疗,必须把怀有2个月的孩子拿掉。起初她也是不肯的,但,为了家人、为了延续自己的生命、延续自己的下一代,她必须接受化疗,这样她才可以继续生存。

也许你会觉得把两件事摆在一起看有一点逞强,可是相比之下这两条生命的必交总比那个所谓的肚子饿把自己的孩子吃掉更为恰当吧?必须再次说明我不是神也不是圣人,只是纯粹的想表达我的观点。两条生命一样是生命,一个是人类一个是畜生。鱼仔被逼堕胎时大家的focus都在鱼仔的身上,认为这是对的选择;可是在之前的case里,focus却是在狗狗的身上。我不是想说什么如今人类的生命不比动物的来得珍贵之类的。可是在这科技发达的时代,我们是不是很容易把焦点focus在错的地方,还经常把小事放大夸大来看呢?

I didn't mean to go against anyone or judging the right from wrong, I don't know much things and I am just trying to express my point of view. I think the issues are getting more severe nowadays, no matter what self-reflection is definitely needed. 



我们花了两年学会说话,却要花上六十年来学会闭嘴。大多数时候,我们说得越多,彼此的距离却越远,矛盾也越多。在沟通中,大多数人总是急于表达自己,一吐为快,却一点也不懂对方。两年学说话,一生学闭嘴。懂与不懂,不多说。心乱心静,慢慢说。若真没话,就别说。—— 海明威

Friday, November 1, 2013

Random

Kinda busy lately,
too many assignments to hand-in this semester,
too many stuffs to catch up.

Major portfolio assignment is going to due next week.
Thou I have no idea WTH my scores will be,
but yea, all I can is to put all my efforts in.

Three more weeks to finals.
I guess, I should enjoy the very last few moments of studying.

Life never gets easier, we just get stronger.


Friday, October 18, 2013

生活中来往的人。。。



生命中总有一些来来往往的人,就像我们走路时马路上的那些过客,有与我们背道而驰的,也有与我们走向同一个方向的。

与我们背道而行的,也许我们转瞬即忘;也许,在生命中的某一天里,我们还会偶尔地想起一些模糊的影子,

但只是偶尔地想一下而已--他们在我们身后,已经越来越远。

即使因为某些原因又重新折回来,可是因为相隔的太远,再努力恐怕也无法追的上了。

那些与我们通行的,有的与我们擦肩而过,有的也许会陪我们走一段距离,但时间都不会太长。

人生的道路上岔路太多,在每一个路口,我们的选择都会不同。

你选择了这条路,他选择了那条路,于是,只有分手。新的道路上,当然还有新的通行者,可也同样还会有新的岔路口。

也许,我们选择的本该是另一个路口,可是,在路的那一边,我们却看到了一个在我们梦里出现了千百遍的那个人啊!

我们惊喜地跑过去,以为那个人在等我们,可后来才发现,那个人等的却是另一个人,或者,根本就是我们认错了人。

然而,回头已不可能,我们只能沿着这条我们并不想选择的路走下去。有时在路上,我们也想停下来等等某个人。

但等来等去,那个人总是不来,或者终于等来了,不是人家熟视无睹地走过,就是人家早已有了另一个同行者。

我们只好一个人重又上路,沿路的风景,或许因此而好长时间也不想好好欣赏。我们企盼有一个人能与我们一同走下去。

人生的路上有风有雨,有沟有坎,还有一些能吃人的豺狼虎豹,我们多么想有个人能帮我们打一下伞,

扶我们一把,或者来了豺狼虎豹的时候,能同我们一起并肩战斗。可这样的人总是很少,一生能碰上一个,就是我们的幸运,

我们把他们叫做知心爱人,因为有了他们,我们就总是感觉自己不老,不管走多远的路,也不会太累。

更多的,是那些仅仅陪我们走过一小段距离的人,那是我们的朋友,我们同样感谢他们。

他们陪我们度过了某一个难关,或者仅仅是在一段风景不错的路途上,他们同我们一起笑了一会儿,我们同样感激他们。

我们就这样走着,那么长的人生岁月,竟然一晃而过了。让我们回过头来看看——阳光暖暖地照着,微风徐徐的吹着。

身边来来往往的人,有多少是刻骨铭心的,有多少是擦肩而过的?其实都已经无所谓了,他们是我们人生中的一个片断而已。

人生的大部分路程,还是我们自己走过来的。。。
I'm not sure the source of this post, but I am kinda sure that I copied this from somewhere else. This was one of the posts, which also my last post in Wretch blog. Wretch blog, something that I have been missing from my life, for quite sometimes. I can still remember that I was once their user, but I don't really remember what I'd posted there. And yes, I only log in today, I mean tonight. There weren't many posts I'd written 5 years ago, only 4-5 childish highschool posts left. Hmm, time flies ... I found this particular article meaningful, and so I decided to repost this particular article here =)

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

兇手不只一個





歌詞:

有個高中生從大樓跳下傷重不治
有個父親看著新聞指責這個高中生的不是
然後他對他兒子說 自殺是不孝的
趕快去念書 還要靠你養的
有個校長得知校內有個學生尋死
馬上連絡電視台 請求不要公開學校的名字
有個網友看到這則新聞馬上po
譴責少年逃避現實的留言馬上多
有個路人 曾看到被毆打的死者
死者看著路人 路人只是看著死者
有群記者 對死者的雙親窮追不捨
問說「兒子死了 會不會覺得不捨」
而有個官員 則是把這件事當消遣
因為可以轉移他那誹聞的焦點
刑警在現場發現死者虐貓的照片
上面寫著「你要以死來作為道歉」

(Chorus)《刑警筆記簿的一角》

兇手不只一個 死者不只一個
被害的加害者 加害的被害者
人們何時開始如此彼此對待著
受傷的人不只一個 傷害的人不只一個
有些傷看不見的 人如此彼此對待著
死者生前被霸凌的新聞登上版面
有個媽媽覺得無聊 就把報紙翻面
她小孩吵著要走 她叫他不要插嘴
然後牽著小孩的手在超商裡插隊
有個少年看著自己的錢被用馬桶沖走
旁邊的同學圍著他 喊著「兇手」
他回到家裡發現臉書被人灌爆
有個留言寫著「幹!你殺人犯!操」
他爸問他為何要逼同學走上絕路
他說他只是看不慣人欺負動物
他爸說「算了,重點是把大學考到」
那天夜裡他看著手腕拿起了小刀
有群女孩笑著討論那割腕的少年
有一個說死了也好 長得很討厭
有名刑警 聽著她們對話打了冷顫
他在想 這些人是沒殺人的殺人犯

(Chorus)

刑警前往禮堂 但步伐很勉強
他受邀針對校園暴力作一場演講
身旁經過的學生 他們笑容洋溢
他不確定 那是否只是種防禦
他想起自己的女兒 也正值這歲數
而有些熱情在這個年紀就結束
他自認和女兒相處的很好 沒太多爭吵
但有時也會擔心對她其實所知甚少
有個老師邊抱怨學生邊帶著他到會客室
他感覺到自己的耐性正在被測試
老師模仿起偵探說:「犯人只有一個」
刑警心想 錯 犯人不只一個
有些指紋沒留下
那致命傷沒多大
而死者不說話

案件布幕已落下

(Chorus)


后记:

无意间听见了这首歌,一首值得我们去深思的一首歌。这首歌让我想起了数个月前某学院生因不堪压力而选择结束了自己的生命。当时会跟友人讨论起这件事是因为我们来自同一个hometown, 想说不知道会不会有人认识她。现今社会人情冷漠,就像歌词里说到有個網友看到這則新聞馬上po,譴責少年逃避現實的留言馬上多。所以那一夜,新闻一出街, 这新闻就这样布满了整个facebook页面。只是万万想不到,大家留言的第一句话竟然是“她很傻,真的很没有用”,“连小小的压力都承受不了,真的不死也没有用”等等的话语。难道这就是所谓的关心?

说真的,没有人会预料自己会走向这一条路。对,每个人都有压力,每个人都有自己必须面对的苦难~可是如果在面对这些困难的时候,身边的人可以给予一些些的鼓励、开导你,甚至拉你一把,这些事,可能就不会发生了。虽然说再多的话也是于事无补,世上也没有太多的如果和可能,但至少生活会美好一点。

真的,兇手不只一個 死者不只一個。被害的加害者 加害的被害者,人們何時開始如此彼此對待著;受傷的人不只一個, 傷害的人不只一個。有些傷看不見的 人如此彼此對待著。。。

Saturday, September 21, 2013

月亮圆




其实已经很多年没有庆祝中秋节了,所以也没有什么期待~
日子还是要一样的过阿
想想最后一次庆祝也许已经是中一或更早前的事了~
也不知道为什么自己突然变得那么感触
也许这就是所谓的每逢佳节倍思亲吧~

没有月饼、没有灯笼的中秋节,
特别想念小时候跟哥哥和表兄姐妹一起在庭院嘻哈玩闹的日子~
哪怕是把家里的旧报纸、杂草等东西来烧也玩得不亦乐乎~
嗯,那些年,简单快乐知足的那个我~
好怀念童年的时光~

现在唯有自己关在房里不停的哼唱着
*月亮圆 月亮圆 月亮照在我的家 没有春夏秋冬的家 流传千年* 
好啦,必须承认我想家啦~

嗯,很快了~再撑一下下,很快就要回去过年了!
加油!!!

2013年9月19日

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Random

Ohh yeaa, it's semester break again !!!
Thou uni just started like not long ago, but sorry I'm exhausted, from both mentally and physically.
Everything just don't sound alright, just way too weird. *same goes with the funny weather*
So yes, I need this break badly to recharge and brace myself. 

Still have a 2000 words assignment pending before I can really enjoy the breaks. I'm still in the midst of vomiting words, LOL. I hope I can finish it by monday ( due on wed) and then have another group meeting for another assignment. Seriously, this is just a WTF assignment breaks. Hmm, ohh sem break.  This would probably be my last sen break ?! May be, but I am not sure either. 

BTW, I was shocked by the number of visits to my last post, 去年的今天. As you can see from the photo below, the normal visitor rate to my blog post is between 2 to 24 but the latest post was 135 ( it's 140 now). I don't know why, yet I couldn't figure out the exact reason as that was just a fairly normal post about myself. Or something has gone wrong with the counting system ?! Or may be because I mentioned something related the keyword ~ my favourite artist's name, LOL. If this is the case, and if I have the time I would like to post up some photos from the concert since I never post them. Stay tune ya. 

Have to kick my ass to continue with my assignment, else I would not be able to finish them asap. 



*shocked*

Sunday, September 8, 2013

去年的今天

20120908 去年的今天
毕生难忘的经验
去年的今天,第一次见天生歌姬
也是人生第一次听live演唱会~
真的好怀念~啊,好想再听live看演唱会,可以吗?

真的很难相信,这样就一年了。
到现在哥哥还没有机会履行他的诺言~陪我去看演唱会哦*tears*
没关系,我坚信好的东西是值得去等待的!

今年的今天,一个人关在房里温习~
准备明天的两个tests~
虽然应该很紧张很忙,但觉得我被我的情绪驾驭了~
有点小emo~

关在房里继续唱:
*只是哪怕周圍再多人 感覺還是一個人
每當我笑了 心卻狠狠的哭著*

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

A-Lin「追」



2011年在金曲奖演唱后的大型表演。
一首好听又经典的歌,在大场面总会有人赞有人弹。
不过对于我就是喜欢这种不一样的感觉~呵呵!


Will catch up with my blog post asap la, too many things to do recently...
The FML life ... omg ...

Thursday, August 8, 2013

最懂你的人




作词:福山雅治
作曲:福山雅治
编曲:福山雅治 井上 鉴
中文词:周炜杰

看夏日的烟火 缓缓的坠落
但在你眼里 是无尽的落寞
你总说 最懂得你的人是我
所以才让 我比谁都还不知所措

在晴朗时许的梦 散落在雨中沉默
失去了相爱的理由

越是懂你爱得越心痛
你就 别再安慰我想太多
我不是一个傻瓜
懂得 你体贴背后的复杂
不够成熟 才相信爱能挽留

越是懂你爱得越愧疚
少了勇气选择 放开手
舍不得 这刻的相处
一瞬冲动就回到孤独
请原谅我 该最懂你的我


闭上双眼的时候 你是否依旧能够
梦见一双背影 无忧的并肩走
我还记得你说过 说从今以后
难关不算什么 如今笑容 憔悴成失落

或许我们都忘了 爱是要让人更快乐
这生活不是我们要的

越是懂你爱得越心痛
你就 别再安慰我想太多
我不是一个傻瓜
懂得 你体贴背后的复杂
不够成熟 才相信爱能挽留

有笑容最动人的时候
有拥抱掉下眼泪的时候
爱过了 已经足够
别让回忆刻满伤口
自私像个黑洞 只会把感动没收

像没指标的十字路口
多希望 谁能告诉我
接下往哪(里)走
我也不想 生活像逃避
不愿意 再看你难过
哪怕转身之后 我无法爱了

越是懂你爱得越心痛
你就 别再安慰我想太多
我不是一个傻瓜
懂得 你体贴背后的复杂
不够成熟 才相信爱能挽留

越 是懂你爱得越愧疚
无 法拒绝当你 逞强着说爱我
像孩子 顽固不认输
爱到疲惫 才看得清楚

请原谅我 该最懂你的我
请原谅我 曾最懂你的我


ohh yeahh,终于又有新歌听了~
是我最爱的A-Lin也!!!
其实也不算很新啦,只是之前忙考试没有去找来听而已~
哥叫我去听这首歌时,一听就爱上了。。。
有越听就会越陷越深的感觉,很有feel。。。

Friday, August 2, 2013

十萬毫升淚水




知道我不完美 能给的我都给
于是天蓝转灰转黑 也微笑不插嘴

这一次会气馁 连平凡爱一回
都才将心给谁 马上又被粉碎

满意了吗 你究竟有完没完
你烦不烦 总考验我多勇敢
有那么难 那么幸福和美满
我不贪婪 只求多些夜晚 不鼻酸 不孤单
我想要的快乐很简单 你都不管

人的一生会积累 十万毫升泪水
以为哭完苦悲苦味 能换来好结尾

并不是我后悔 爱会痛我奉陪
只是轮到我没 谁视我为宝贝

满意了吗 你究竟有完没完
你烦不烦 总考验我多勇敢
有那么难 那么幸福和美满
我不贪婪 只求多些夜晚 不鼻酸 不孤单
我想要的快乐很简单 你都不管

有完没完 我已无条件投降
我要归还 向你借来的勇敢
我不野蛮 不属于我的美满
都不贪婪 只求一到夜晚 有期盼 有陪伴
我想要你给我个答案 你却不管
你都不管
你别不管
我的伤感

这个是最近追的新加坡电视剧《志在四方》的插曲。剧一开始播出,配上剧情,一听见这首歌就很有fu, 然后就迷上了。

今年的重头剧,难得的好剧本,今晚便来到尾声;莫名的不舍,莫名的伤感。 可是更莫名其妙的是,他们竟然把结局开放给观众投票?!虽然还不知道结局是什么样的,不过one can't please everyone。不管是播出哪一个版本,都会有粉丝不满意;然后就开始互相攻击,fan war !!! 除非除非,他们 ignore投票结果,决定播出官方的那个版本咯,唯有这样最赢得了民心。

啊,有时间必须介绍一下这套剧,写一下review, 写一下我的感想。


Thursday, August 1, 2013

《 一起晚飯的友誼》



Repost from facebook:
有些朋友,會在周一至周五見面,

有些朋友,會在周末與周日見面。



從前,是沒有這種區分的。
朋友,想見就見吧,
甚麼時候也好,
放學之後,放假的時候,
在球場見,去 M 記等,
商場門口、圖書館、 cafe 、網吧甚至遊戲機中心,
任何一天都可以,只要大家有空有心,
與其一個人悶,不如一起無聊,
一星期見足七天,又有甚麼問題。



漸漸,我們不可能再一星期見足七天。
認識的朋友多了,始終需要分配時間給不同的人,
一星期見到一至兩次,已經是很親密的關係了。
然後,畢業了,
我們出來工作,又要加班,
下班之後都沒有太多時間剩下來。
難得偶爾早收工,你可能又會沒有心情見人,
於是我們會越來越少見面,甚至主動約人。



直到偶爾,我們終於想念起對方,
我們給對方發短訊,問,
喂,幾時有空啊 ? 不如出來吃飯吧 ?
雖然大家沒有言明是在甚麼時候,
但我們卻彷彿有一種默契,
這場晚飯是約在周一至周五的晚上。
是等大家下班了,大家都剛好有時間,
才會出來一起吃晚飯。
至於周末與周日,
也許你不是沒有空,也許彼此也是有假期,
但你可能會想,對方應該會留下時間給家人,
或是自己的另一半;
即使對方沒有拍拖,
這些時間也是應該留給更親密的朋友,
去踩單車、 BBQ 、行山游水、打 War Game 、打麻雀、
甚至只是一起去逛街看電影都好 ......
而這些活動,是你們以前會時常一起去做的,
只是如今,你們只剩下一起晚飯這一項活動,
到周末或周日,我們也只會在彼此的臉書裡,
看對方這天與別人約會的照片,
而不會打擾對方。
然後,漸漸,
我們會繼續越來越少見面,
或是發展成生日的朋友,
在彼此生日的月份,才會約出來見面晚飯聯誼;
然後,再漸漸,
我們會變成婚宴的朋友,
在同伴新婚的盛宴,淡然地等待對方出現 ......
然後,或許還有然後,
或許再沒有了,
你知道如果有心,
就算再忙也是可以維繫到一段友誼,
彼此可能也過了那種、
必需時常見面一起去玩才能友好的年齡;
只是如果可以,
你還是會希望在偶爾想見到對方的時候,
能夠直接打一個電話給對方,
說聲,喂,不如現在出來吧 ?
然後對方會立即為自己丟低另一半、
推掉其他人的約會,
大家一起跑到附近的公園或球場,
就只是一個下午也好,就只是這一天都好 ......



這天,你又會想與哪些朋友見面,
這天,你最後與哪些人見面了 ?





















一个星期跟朋友吃一顿饭?就算是跟这里的同学/朋友吃饭,因为不同科系,一年也许也只见得那么3次;毕业后我们还会联系还会见面吗?!who knows !!!

一年可以跟要好的朋友见面3次,我已经心满意足了。所以每次回去马来西亚,我都特别期待,特别珍惜跟朋友相见的那一刻。就算N久不见面,也有永远说不完的话题。不会因时间和距离的改变,这才算是最真挚的友谊吧,我想。。。

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Results

So my last winter breaks has come to an end and so today is the first day of class for last semester of my Final Year. Not really refreshing but hmm, can feel the excitement within myself may be as a result of not ready to face the reality, the real working life. *I can feel da stress, wheyy* Study life will still be the best I think, but of course, if I would have a chance to choose, my choice will go to primary school or either kindergarten.

Nothing special as usual for the first week of uni as I'm not those activist. Selling off the books used for last semester and not really sure whether I need any textbooks for this sem, will only decide after attending lecture and tutorial class. 

Back to the topic, just simply wanna write about my results for semester 1 of final year which I should actually post it 3 weeks ago, 12th July 2013. The results should be released at 1130am that day, but due to some delays and the release it according to the ascending order, so I only received my result at nearly 3pm. Hmm, kinda disappointed with the overall performances actually as I had higher expectations but it's still acceptable. I don't really know how to describe the feelings as it is really complicated. 

For the Management Accounting, my worried was only about I couldn't hit the borderline of getting a D as the tutor gave marks blindly on the class participation performances which pulled my marks down.   But at least I managed to get what I was looking for, if not I would definitely lodge in grade appeal application. For the Company Accounting, the only worried was that I might fail the unit as I screwed up most of the internal assessments and so do the final exam. Having nightmare each night after the final exam, till the day I received my results. Ain't no joke, it's horrible. Getting the minimum marks of passing made my day, tadaa !!!

The unit that I thought I was doing great, as everything was fall on place accordingly, turned upside down in the end. I thought I would at least score a D for it (somehow near to borderline again) but I was wrong. The lecture marked the case study assignment in a very unacceptable way as there's no answer guideline provided and the highest marks of all students was 31/50, which was ridiculous. May be this was the only way to pull our marks down. Even though my mark wasn't that high, but overall performances still in the D range but due to the stupid SNG system implemented by the uni (adjust the marks according to graph), my marks had been marked down for no reason. So I ended up with 74 marks, which was a credit !!! Ohh damn, even with the additional 0.5 marks can boost up my GPA with no doubt, but now, I ended up with SHIT ! *ripped off* Tried to appeal, but failed and has got no interest to do it again and again as when you can't change anything, you've to accept it !

The unexpected one should be Revenue Law a.k.a Tax Law.  It's not fully unexpected as I get quite high marks for the internal assessments and class performances (I never get high marks for law's class performance), so at least I maintain at the level, everything will be alright. But due to misunderstand the meaning of one word, I guess I loss some marks, at least 5m for it which made me worried. If this was not the case, I believe the marks will be higher, LOL. Yeaa, no if, there's no 如果 or 假如 in reality. But I'm still satisfied with my own performances as I can see the improvement from Business Law to Corporation Law till now, the Tax Law.  From getting a pass to a credit and now a distinction, discovering my own strengths and expand the understanding in law within these 3 semesters. Hmm, I find tax law kinda interesting, at least I'm not against it, so this might also be an option of my future career as well. Who knows, right ?!

The cheat sheets for final.
My only aim for this semester is to improve, improve the marks and of course my GPA. Of course, there're more things to learn and to explore as uni is not only about grades. SEMESTER 2, FINAL YEAR ADD OIL !!! Work harder, do your best and live with no regret !!! More challenges to face, way more to go !!!



#我们很多的痛苦,不是已经拥有的太少,而是我们对未来期待的太多。比如做一件事,总想遵照自己的意愿,失之毫厘便觉得谬以千里;比如爱一个人,总想对方是自己渴望的模板,略有出入就认为格格不入。要知道,你不是世界的主宰,不必对外界和他人期望过高,否则,你就会在这个旋转的舞台上迷失自己。#

Monday, July 29, 2013

Good day

Just want to remember this day, 27.7.2013. I've done basically nothing meaningful over the winter breaks but today. They've the mini kinda Malaysian food fair once a year, gathering all the malaysian chinese together to raise fund for the temple. The signature food of the event such as Char Koay Teow, Char Koay Kak will be second, then the Nasi Lemak esp the sambal, followed by the curry puff and Mang Zhang Koay and lots more la. Although this was my third time attending the food fair but yea I don't know much about the community and so forth as I only being there once a year and aiming for yummy food. All I know is that those cooks are volunteers, basically their occupations are not chef and they only showing off their talents once a year.

This year is kinda different. Due to shortage of helpers, my aunt was asked to be there to help in the rojak stall for cutting the fruits, so she dragged me along. I know my knife skill sucks, so I tried to hide myself initially and I even brought along my ipod and books so that I can enjoy food while hiding in a corner. However, due to some unexpected circumstances, we are then asked to help them to organise and sell the curry puffs. *Pheww, at least I don't feel that useless* haha.

The situation there wasn't as expected, kinda not organised and not systematic at all, it is in a mess. Horrible mess as one of the cooker was down, then people were queuing, waiting to buy the curry puffs, some were waiting to collect their pre-orders which had not be done and some wanna left their orders and so on. Tried to catch up with the pace, and yes, everything sort out in the right order. We fulfilled the need of most customers I think, as we kept everyone happy even though I didn't have much time to go around to hunt for food.

It is for good sake, for charity purpose. There's no certification or any compliment for this but this would be one of the most valuable experiences of mine, for now. As it gave me a chance to "work", and feel the atmosphere where all malaysians work as one. I feel that I don't to be a part of them, in order to be accepted by them. This is kinda different some other societies or community where you have to be a part of them only they will treat you better. Of course, I could be wrong, these are just my two cents of views.



27.7.2013

有些东西,如果你摆脱不了它,就努力适应它,甚至享受它。比如独立,你不是墙角的藤蔓,没人全程让你依附,哪怕再小,你也要成为一株木棉,以树的形象立于天地间;比如苦涩,这是人生的原味,正如一杯咖啡,你只有慢慢地饮,细细地品,才能感悟那缕苦后的余香。当这种享受成为常态,人生就会绚丽多彩。


Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Random

"To change or not to change
Touchscreen or without touchscreen
To wait or not to wait... "

Hmm, these questions have been bothering me for awhile, probably a week since the day my laptop broke down. Not really broke down, as after reformat, it can now be used, function normally. Just that it is getting more laggy as time goes on and I don't know how should I actually describe the situation. So I have been spending some time, doing researches to find a target laptop replacement, if unfortunate things happen again on my laptop. Or may be, I couldn't stand with the laggy and I would just go ahead and replace it immediately, anytime!

Actually, I've been advised for changing it asap so that I can get ready for the new semester to start. As now I'm using something that might cause problem anytime, documents and data seem not safe and I can't really install a reliable anti-virus and my genuine microsoft words. I've found my targeted laptop like finally, but duhh I still can't make up my mind. It's so hard to make decision. I guess touchscreen will be an option to me, not necessary as I can foresee if it hangs or lags, I will feel 10 times miserable than now.


一些该拿起的要拿起,一些该舍弃的要舍弃。因为,只有让该结束的结束了,该开始的才会开始。

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Laptop Broke Down

Disclaimer: This is long, boring, grumbling and somehow kinda documentary post on how my laptop broke down. You won't have the interest to know the details, so to save your time, you can actually skip it or leave it before you even start reading.

Have been using my first laptop, Asus since the day I started college, and it has been with me for about 3.5 years. I'm kind of a heavy user as I on my laptop for more than 12 hours per day for movies, dramas, surfing and nonsense since college.*poor laptop* It has been reformatted for once in 2011 which I kinda regretted later.

The laptop faced with some severe overheating issue earlier this year, auto-turned off once I over-used it. So I actually planned to replace my laptop before coming back to the kangaroo land. But after getting some suggestions from my BFF, managed to send my laptop for some services to solve the problem, right the day before I left Malaysia. And yeahh, I was thinking the laptop at least for another 1-2 years as it is in really great condition as described by the staff. And yes, no need to waste money will be another great news, especially to my mom.


Laptop + Coffee = Best combination to kill time
*ohh damn, I miss Starbucks so badly*
The great news doesn't last as it expected to be. Again, the laptop started to give me some weird problems in early of April, stated like it can't detect my hard drive and these and that. After restarting, pressing here and there, it worked fine again. I've a very bad habit of leaving my external hard discs connect to my laptop even when I switched off my laptop. If not mistaken, after the auto windows update, then I started to face with frequent Startup Repairs. After these and that, which I don't even know wth I was doing, it worked fine again. But these problems didn't really disappear, it tends to be more frequent in late June,and sometimes it get worsen right after the auto updates. Then during the Melbourne trip, it popped out another dialogue stated server busy, like damn, really don't know wth was going on. *ignore again*

Unfortunately, I am not that lucky as always. My laptop broke down on 10th July, Wednesday (which was also the first day back to syd) after an update of windows again. This time probably was the worst, as I can't even switch on and log in to my laptop. Tried the startup repairs but it stated it can't be repaired. Then after trying all the stupid things, on and off, restarting like a nut for hours, to be more precise, I spent the whole afternoon from 2pm to 7pm dealing with this issue. Then only I managed to log in and the only intention atm was to transfer everything out of my drive so that I can reformat the laptop asap. But the laptop worked in a super slow and unbearable pace, which I can't even do any transfer. 


With no hope, the only thing was to seek help from my uncle. Yea, there's definitely some problems with my laptop and he reckoned it's virus attacked. Shh, coz I don't really have a reliable virus protection on my laptop, dumbass right ?! After going thru the startup repairs again, it showed something wrong with the file system which I don't really know what it means. With no choice, had to transfer the whole hard drive to his desktop, back-up to save my files and run thru the virus scanning there. 
May be it's time to say goodbye or even rip to my laptop. But of course, I do hope that reformatting could help, and I can continue to use it happily, at least no need to crack my head finding a new lappie. It's ime to do some researches on laptop, but I think I will still prefer Asus but the choices atm are abit over to me. I'm using my aunt's limited edition ferrari acer netbook to save my life, I mean to kill time, watch my dramas and surfing lorr, basically that's all I do in a day, LOLL. Shifting from a 14 inches laptop to a 12 inches netbook doesn't do me any good, as it's really tiring to stare at such a tiny screen for the entire day. I guess, may be I'll have to cut down time on surfing and do some reading until my laptop works as normal *tired eyes*



人生有顺境也有逆境,不可能处处是逆境;人生有巅峰也有谷底,不可能处处是谷底。因为顺境或巅峰而趾高气扬,因为逆境或低谷而垂头丧气,都是浅薄的人生。真正的人生需要磨炼。面对挫折,如果只是一味地抱怨、生气,是一种消极、愚蠢的表现。—— 《生气不如争气》

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Back

Back from the Melbourne trip which was kinda relaxing yet hectic journey. Will update more about the trip as usual when I've got the kick to do so ya, haha.

Time is tickling and yea, I've to face the reality soon*finger-crossed*.



Continue to enjoy the lifeless winter break and maybe I should pick up some hobby or start to at least do some readings. Really don't know how to sit for ielts test with my current english level, duhhh @.@

Friday, July 5, 2013

Phone cover

So the cover that I've ordered two weeks ago has arrived today. Damn excited as finally I can change the clothes of my phone. This is one of the few covers that I like as it is simple and with the "S" symbol gives me a very elegant feeling. However, I am still kinda disappointed as I wanted the red with black colour casing which gave me a more superman feel but I ended up with this rose pink casing. Yes, my friends might be asking why I am using a pink cover again, LOLL. 

Actually, there's two seller on ebay selling the same products, but the one I saw initially was from US so I have to pay for the delivery charges which is even higher than the price of the casing. So I'd find a substitute seller. Tried to communicate with the seller by mails, and even sent the photo of the red cover I wanted to confirm. Only confirm payment after they said, it is the red with black cover that I wanted to prevent disappointment. But unfortunately, still disappointed lor. Err, I'm not a fan of superman but yes, I need the "Super" energy to cheer my day. Not bad, but it would be better if it is in RED I reckoned. 

So this is how my NEW cover looks like. 

And I have to really say goodbye to my original cover as the glue wasn't sticky enough and the part to hold the phone started to moving around. I was kinda worried that my phone will just drop one fine day while I am holding it, that's the main reason why I was desperately needing a new phone cover. And while I was trying the change the cover, while pulling out from the old cover, the things really came off ... *speechless*





Flying off to Melbourne tomorrow noon. To make it fun and memorable, I guess I've to really put away the stress that have been burdened me since after the final exam which caused all the insomnia and moody. Hmm, one more week to release results *finger-crossed* , all I can do is pray and pray and pray. Supposed to spend some quality time back at hometown right now, but of all the reasons and for not spending another lump sum of money, I decided to stay and only going back for CNY next year. Didn't really know that my two cousin sis are going back for a short trip until my mom told me last week and cousin bro is back for summer break. Mom sounded abit disappointed, so I guess same goes with granny. But what to do, this is life ma. Hoping to meet my cousin sis in Mel so that we can show it to granny to make her day. For everything I can do is to enjoy to the max before facing the reality.

 Everything will be fine. 

我们还年轻,多走几步路多欣赏下沿途的风景,不要急于抵达目的地而错过了流年里温暖的人和物;趁我们还年轻,多说些浪漫的话语多做些幼稚的事情,不要嫌人笑话错过了生命中最美好的片段和场合;趁我们还年轻,把距离缩短,把时间延长。趁我们都还年轻,多做些我们想要做的任何事。

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

胡言乱语

" 每次到了夜深人靜的時候 我總是睡不著
我懷疑是不是只有我的明天沒有變得更好
未來會怎樣究竟有誰會知道... "

这句歌词真的很应景。一个月的winter break应该充分利用,好好休息、享受,可是不知道从哪天开始每一晚脑袋就会一直乱想东想西的。结果就只有一个,就是失眠。眼光光,望天光的感觉真的很恐怖,然后到了清晨才昏昏沉沉的入睡;起身时,就是说午安了咯!这种生活真的是超级无敌不健康,而且身体感觉非常疲惫的说,每天都无精神。我的黑眼圈从考试前到现在,貌似还没有消退。。。真的是要叫救命了!?


距离派成绩还有大概10天左右吧。也许,也许就是因为担心成绩担心分数。是我不够优秀还是我set的target太高?我不知道,也不想知道。尽力就好了,现在只想安心入眠。 说实话,其实我已经做了最坏的打算,可是另3个units一个都不能倒*finger-crossed*. 

另外,等了很久的case study分数终于揭晓了。开始有点兴奋,不过失望才是真正的感受。27/50,开心,因为已经pass了这个unit (一定要pass case study才算pass这个unit). 失落,因为可能就少了那一两分,而失去一个Distinction. 拿这个unit的唯一一个原因,就是因为要boost up我的GPA,现在只能努力的求神拜佛,祈求一切顺利。换个角度看,也许我应该感觉很庆幸,因为在forum上面看到很多人都挂科了,很多人都在等上诉。 不过说实在,这个unit是不是完全靠实力,真的要靠运气的;高分不代表写得好写得很完整,低分不代表写得差。就算跟着pass year的marking guide来写,也未必可以过关。一切都要看那lecturer的心情、环境等等,天时地利人和都必须符合,那就分数还okay。Lesson learnt: 不要太热心助人,因为我帮的那位同学分数竟然高过我4分. OMG,这4分应该可以定我的生死了,至少我现在不必那么担心。算了吧,听天由命!


好想像以前一样偶尔打开中学同学的blog,update一下他们的最新状况。可是慢慢的发现,不是不写了。就是很多blog的link都失效不然就直接消失了,再来的当然是limited access to invited readers only. 唉,也许我的阅读部落格的喜好也会这样渐渐的跟着消失了。。。

以前很天真想当个blogger ,专不专业无所谓,,反正就是会有很多人来阅读我写的垃圾。不过长大了却发现,这里只是一个给我发牢骚、诉苦的地方,觉得越少人看见就越好。毕竟是个人情绪,当publicised 了就必须要处理得妥当。有朋友建议我不如干脆set成private or may be only limited to invited readers, 不过因为我的个性,要写就要光明磊落的写所以就算是public的,那又如何?! 加上我写的东西都很没有quality的,不看也没有损失的啦, 所以就这样一直到现在!4月份的某一天,在冲动之下把所有以前的记忆都给上锁。是好事,是坏事也都无所谓,只是觉得是时候往前走,把回忆留在脑海里。考试之前,又不知道痴了哪条线,把comment给disabled了。其实也没有太大的差别,因为都没有多少人在看,没有多少的留言。加上我也不是很想很多人看,所以,基本上还是一样的。 疯了吧,也许是压力太大,这几天应该会able回的,哈哈!

Oops, 好像是写太多的废话了。这个是失眠的结果,这样直率有多好,这才是从前的那个我。开始胡言乱语了,是时候睡觉去咯。。。



Thursday, June 27, 2013

After Final

Ooopss, forget to tell the world that I've finished my final exam for the semester 1 of final year, last Thursday. Not too excited, but yea at least temporary escape from the tonnes of books and responsibles. It's not great as usual but at least a credit for most of the papers except for the stupid Corporate Accounting and Reporting where I screwed it to the most, the worst unit I've done ever. I'm not sure how things gonna be as I can sense the probability of failing the unit, but I can only hypnosis myself that everything gonna be alright, it gonna be alright. Duhh, all I can do is hope for the best, and prepare for the worst la. At the moment, yeahh enjoy my winter break to the fullest is all I can do ! So it''s time for me to hibernate and clean the mess in my room, I guess.





It's been a week, but after all the rest, I seemed to be as tired as usual, not energise at all pun. Duhh, and my panda eyes of final exam still with me, or getting worst maybe ?! Having house inspection in few days time, so other than resting, all I do is to kick my ass to do all the houseworks that I've been ignoring all the while. And yeaa, sick on the day after cleaning, due to my allergy nose, dammit to the max!!! I think those adults were right, 我有一条富贵命!Seriously can't smell smoke, even the one from cooking and can't really do cleaning work. So next time have to plan before any cleaning work, must make sure that I will have at least 2 days of breaks for me to recover from sick. All I know is that, this is really annoying, as sometimes it get worsen like running nose leads to fever and all the shit stuffs. Duhh, really sipek mahuan to even think of tidying up the room.  But if really have to get sick, I don't mind to be sick during the winter break but definitely not during the semester.

Yeahh, time for hibernating ~ damn hard to get up from bed everyday ... haha !

人生没有如果,只有后果和结果。过去的不会再回来,即使回来也不再完美。生活有进退,输什么也不能输心情。生活最大的幸福就是,坚信有人爱着我。对于过去,不可忘记,但要放下。因为有明天,今天永远只是起跑线。生活简单就迷人,人心简单就幸福;学会简单其实就不简单。


Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Breathe

When you realise things move in a faster way than you thought, 
you can only keep calm and move on. 
And breathe. 

Good luck for the final exam thou it's way harder than I thought. 
Jiayou to myself. 

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Week 13

Everything doesn't seem good recently. Hmm, it has been a hard week as one final class test was held, followed by 2 quizzes for external unit, and online quiz which was totally crap for my weakest unit of the sem. However, today marks the last day of uni for final year semester 1. 


Yea, weakest unit, ACCG308 Corporate and Governance Accounting. According to seniors and friends, this is the most easiest 300 level core units and some even said this is the easiest accounting unit ever; which I will never ever agree with it. Got back my last class assessment and the class test marks, disappointed and speechless would be my only words. Most of the average students are on the same boat with me, but there're ppl who managed to score 24/25 or even full marks. Am I too stupid or just like what they said, the lecturer just want to make everyone "dies" to reduce the number of students who score high marks ?! No more D/HD for this unit, meaning no hope for the high achiever award. May be will just lodge in a complain letter after the final exam, no idea. I think I should stop grumbling before things get worsen.

This is what I get from Anita prediction today: "Thanks to your patience, experience, common sense and also because you have never lost sight of your objectives: you will be getting what you really want and moving toward achieving the things which are important to you."

Haha, it sounds so true and relevant to me, so I decided to post it here. Patience, this should be pointing to the internet connection where it drops on and off every 5-10 mins and no one willing to help or understand the problem. My main concern is that I can't enjoy my drama to de-stress which caused more stress in the end. Common sense, might be pointing to that I believe it's the internet problem as phones, iphones, ipad and another laptop seem to face the same problem, so I didn't consider the assumption that was caused my laptop faulty. And yes, have to work hard for the remaining two units, my weakest unit and the hardest unit (tax law) of the semester. Two more weeks to go ~ Jiayou and pull my socks up is the only things I can do, live with no regrets !!!


人生没有真正的绝望。树,在秋天放下了落叶,心很疼,可是整个冬天,它让心在平静中积蓄力量。春天一到,芳华依然。只要生命还握在手心,人生就没有绝望。一时的成败得失对于一生来说,不过来了一场小感冒。心若累了,让它休息,灵魂的修复是人生永不干枯的希望。

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

林俊傑 JJ Lin -以後要做的事



還沒走到最後 請別低著頭
沿途撿的夢 是否有些不安和迷惑
有些應該緊握 有些該放手
會隱隱作痛 走過才是真實的自我

還沒走到最後 請別低著頭,加油!

Friday, May 31, 2013

蝸牛

該不該擱下重重的殼 尋找到底哪裡有藍天
隨著輕輕的風輕輕的飄 歷經的傷都不感覺疼

我要一步一步往上爬 等待陽光靜靜看著它的臉
小小的天有大大的夢想
重重的殼裹著輕輕的仰望

我要一步一步往上爬 在最高點乘著葉片往前飛
小小的天流過的淚和汗 總有一天我有屬於我的天

我要一步一步往上爬 在最高點乘著葉片往前飛
任風吹乾 流過的淚和汗

我要一步一步往上爬 等待陽光靜靜看著它的臉
小小的天有大大的夢想

我有屬於我的天

任風吹乾 流過的淚和汗 總有一天我有屬於我的天

我很忙 - A-Lin



作詞:鄔裕康
作曲:施佳陽

不需要假期
我沒地方可去
不需要狂歡
人群只是空虛
多數的關心
只是嘴上說說而已
真正懂我的人是自己

我的眼睛一做夢就看到你
一閉上就想哭泣
笑容忽然間變成奢侈品

我的生活
充滿了和你有關的記憶
每每靠近 滿城風雨

就讓我忙的瘋掉
忙的累倒
連哭的時間都沒有最好
就讓我忙的忘掉
你的懷抱 他曾帶給我的美好
當有人問好不好
怕傷心奪眶就咬牙說我很忙
這完美的謊 完美的偽裝
才讓我的痛沒人看到

我的眼睛一做夢就看到你
一閉上就想哭泣
轉載來自 ※ Mojim.com 魔鏡歌詞網 
笑容忽然間變成奢侈品
你在哪裡 曾是每天要問你的一句
我要戒斷 這種惡習
就讓我忙的瘋掉
忙的累倒 連哭的時間都沒有最好
就讓我忙的忘掉
你的懷抱 他曾帶給我的美好


當有人問好不好
怕傷心奪眶就咬牙說我很忙
這完美的謊 完美的偽裝
才讓我的痛沒人看到

當一個麻痹的人
那有多好
心裡沒別的只有忙忙忙
工作是一種抵抗
一帖解藥
人怎能被想念打倒
當有人問好不好
怕傷心奪眶就咬牙說我很忙
這完美的謊 完美的偽裝
才讓我的痛沒人看到


I'm not a good fren, ain't a good daughter.
每每靠近期末考时,这首歌的旋律很自然的在脑海中盘旋。
一直避开暂时不听这首歌,可是很多时候听着听着,就忍不住眼泪。。。
嗯,我很忙,真的很忙!下周week 13: 3 quizzes + One class test.
一直很努力(也许我真的没有,只是付出了一点点),一直想要证明、想要拥有荣誉,可是当发现应该不可能的时候,要学会好好收拾和平复情绪。
就像歌词写到:当有人问好不好 怕伤心夺眶就咬牙说我很忙  这完美的谎 完美的伪装 才让我的痛没人看到。。。



为自己的明天加油!
学会接受,学会只足是一定的;不过我还是要提醒自己,还没走到最后请别低着头。。。

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Random

Random post as usual. It's now Week 11 and life is getting tougher each day as the semester has almost comes to the end. 

Can you imagine a total of 64 marks assignment and assessments due in 2 days ? Of course they're made up of 3 different units, but meaning I have to spend triple of the time to complete them. The overwhelming stress was just way too much and yet I was down with flu for the entire week. And yes, managed to conquer then all last week. Hope that I won't be disappointed by the outcomes. Having another assignment due this coming Monday, major class test on Tuesday, assessments and so forth. Yes, all the way to FINAL, about one more month to go. 



Frankly speaking, everything wasn't that good lately. I am in the middle of nowhere, wondering what I've been learning for one of the unit, it's not hard but confusing yet complex. I choose to learn it in a very lousy way I suppose, simple and relaxing, until the day I stumbled by the mark of one of my assessment. I'm always the good student (not the best, normal only one okay) in class, and satisfied with my marks for most of the time but unfortunately a big nono for this week. Hmph, I have to pull up my socks and work a little harder and be more organized in this unit. It's never too late to learn but unfortunately I still have to face it in the class test next week so I can only try my best. 


人,真的要学着承担。当自己一天天的成长,我们所扮演的角色也愈来愈多。其中也难免会有些自己不擅长、不喜欢,甚至不习惯的角色,此时若是不咬紧牙关、满怀热忱的坚持下去,只想逃进自己安逸的小圈圈里,像个孩子一样无忧无虑,一不小心可是会付出许多幸福的代价。——《看得见的未必是幸福》

Saturday, May 11, 2013

27th April

Before I start grumbling on what is going, especially those political issues back home, I would like to write something on my new gadget. *wink*

I've been using Samsung Galaxy S (with contract) for the past two years, and it started to give problems and lag at least twice a day and etc. Have been anticipating to replace my phone since last December but my friend asked me to wait for this. So I just choose to follow whatever she said la, since I wasn't hat keen to owe a new phone that time ( thou my phone really caused a lot of problems).

After months of waiting, Samsung Galaxy S4 is finally. When I knew that the phone will be launched on 27th of April, I was so darn excited and yes, I am definitely going to get one. I am not eligible to sign up for a mobile plan as my visa going to expire in less than one year time for now, so I have to purchase it outright. Without a second thought, I decided to purchase it right on the launching date.

Failed to pre-book the phone, so I have to queue up early in the morning just to get the phone. According to them, I can still get one if I go there by 10am. To prevent myself from disappointing, I forced myself to wake up at 630am so that I can arrive city by 8am (just in time for their opening at about 830am). Yea, it can be considered as one of the most craziest things I've done in my life so far. It's just so true, not even willing to wake up for class but I'm willing to sacrifice everything just to get the phone. The queue wasn't that bad, not as many people as I thought, only about 20 people in front of me. Due to the tiredness and laziness, I just couldn't bother to take a photo of the crowd.

Pictures tell everything, so ...

Rough view of it, photo take by Galaxy S. 
Unboxing the phone *white*
With the original cover

Actually I thought of getting the black phone in last minute, as I think the black one looks more elegant and classy. They only have white as default colour in the experience store, so I will just follow my first thought and just try something new (old phone was black as well). Bought the original cover not the smart cover on the same day. Thought of getting a pink one, but have to try something new ma ~ so decided to pick the yellow one (somehow support Bersih in my way) but it looks too pale, so I'd picked a light green one ( still supporting anti-lynas,LOL). Somehow, I regretted for purchasing the cover as it is not very protective and feel so insecure while using it. 

So this is how my phone looks like atm.
Sometimes we should act like a child, be contented easily...



PS. The intention of writing the post is not to show off but to remember THIS special day ...

Friday, May 10, 2013

创新成语

原本想说不想把政治课题写在blog上,可是我觉得这些historical moments不得不把他们一一的记录下来。

馬來西亞經過昨天之後(2013年五月五日),創立出新的成語:


1)安南割耳
解釋:比喻說話愛誇大其辭,被揭穿後使用下三濫招數扭轉局面。
造句:維斯的個性十分的安南割耳,十分令人厭惡。

2)意外停電
解釋:比喻骯髒手段。
造句:藍隊使用意外停電來贏取這場球賽,一點兒都不光彩。

3)春來買票
解釋:比喻某人用大量金錢去誘使別人好讓自己達到目標,卻無法成功;偷雞不成蝕把米。
造句:謝先生在這節骨眼上想要趁機發表言論增加自己的名氣,卻落得春來買票的下場,慘遭唾棄。

4)特佐算數
解釋:形容一個人有智能缺陷,連簡單的邏輯數學都不會算。
造句:竟然有人花百萬公帑製作一場沒有收益的演唱會,卻告訴大眾收益將捐給慈善機構,這種人的腦袋真的是特佐算數。

5)羅斯瑪言
解釋:謊話連篇
造句:那個女人挪用公款被逮卻滿口羅斯瑪言,企圖脫罪。

6)納吉國陣
解釋:形容搶匪、為惡不作、為非作歹的人。
造句:哥哥從小不學好,媽媽擔心哥哥有一天會變成納吉國陣。


转载@Facebook

Sunday, May 5, 2013

黑暗騎士 The Dark Knight


林俊傑 (feat.五月天阿信)
作詞:五月天 阿信 
作曲:林俊傑 
編曲:林俊傑 五月天
特別演出Feat:五月天 阿信 

黑暗裡誰還不睡 黑色的心情和斗篷假面
黑夜的黑不是最黑 而在於貪婪找不到底線
腳下是卑微的街 我孤獨站在城市天際線
別問我惡類或善類 我只是渴望飛的哺乳類

善惡的分界 不是對立面
而是每個人 那最後純潔的防線 都逃不過考驗

有沒有一種考驗 有沒有一次淬煉
拯救了世界就像 英雄 電影 情節
有沒有一種信念 有沒有一句誓言
呼喚黎明的出現 yeah yeah yeah yeah
呼喚黎明的出現 yeah yeah yeah yeah
呼喚黎明的出現

為什麼抓光了賊 多年來更沒目擊過搶匪
而貧窮還是像潮水 淹沒了人們生存的尊嚴
文明最顛峰某天 人們和蝙蝠卻住回洞穴
那罪行再也看不見 都躲在法律和交易後面

善惡的分界 不怕難分辨
只怕每個人 都關上雙耳和雙眼 都害怕去改變

有沒有一種改變 有沒有一次壯烈
轉載來自 ※ Mojim.com 魔鏡歌詞網 
結局的完美就像 英雄 電影 情節
有沒有一種信念 有沒有一句誓言
呼喚黎明的出現 yeah yeah yeah yeah
呼喚黎明的出現 yeah yeah yeah yeah
呼喚黎明的出現 呼喚黎明的出現

越來越毒的雨水 越來越多的災變
越來越遠的從前 英雄 電影 情節
律師和小丑勾結 民代和財團簽約
善良和罪惡妥協

越來越大的企業 越來越小的公園
越來越深的幻滅 英雄 電影 情節
面具下的人是誰 或者說不管是誰
都無法全身而退 yeah yeah yeah yeah
都無法全身而退 yeah yeah yeah yeah
都無法全身而退

當我們都走上街 當我們懷抱信念
當我們親身扮演 英雄 電影 情節
你就是一種信念 你就是一句誓言
世界正等你出現 yeah yeah yeah yeah
世界正等你出現 yeah yeah yeah yeah
Oh~ yeah yeah

5/5 Hope for a better country, better Malaysia. 
I love Malaysia. 

Monday, April 22, 2013

Bad news

剩下一个星期的sem break。原本想说,享受假期之余,休息够了,应该是时候开始准备作业和复习。

先是看了很多某阵党为了在来届大选能够胜出而不择手段的新闻感到悲哀。想不到我们大家其实是在一个极度腐败的环境下茁壮成长,幸好的是我们大家都还懂得分辨是非。接着就看到四川不幸的发生地震的新闻。在4月20日傍晚祈祷槟城下大雨之余,之后又在网络上看见一个很难以置信的新闻,那就是我最爱的新加坡资深艺人黄文永逝世了。真的很难相信,因为今年头还在荧幕上看见他的演出,you will always stay in our heart and you will be missed。


在还没回过魂来时,收到哥传来的简讯说婆婆不舒服。顿时又愣住了一下,心想不是吧,我弱小的心灵一次过是接受不了那么多打击的!他说就知道不舒服,不知道具体的资料。难得出门和朋友一起聚餐的我,外出时突然收到妈妈的简讯说,婆婆轻微中风了。。。我真的不知道该如何反应,只想当场痛哭一场!鉴于在公众场合,我唯有拼命的忍住眼泪直到聚餐后,上了火车最终忍不住默默地落泪。回家的路途上,心情慢慢地平复了。想不到在大半夜里,我又忍不住了。很想很想马上冲回家拥抱婆婆。脑子里一直出现离开家,要回来念书时婆婆拥抱我,叫我要好好念书的画面。也许我什么也帮不上忙,除了默默祈祷,就是把书读好,顺利毕业。其实,我一直以来唯一的心愿就是希望能能像表哥表姐一样穿上毕业礼服和婆婆一起合照。这样的要求,算不算太高!?





Keep reminding myself to be happy and stay strong !!!

写不下去了,太苦逼了~
晚安!


Monday, April 15, 2013

Sem Break

Finally the long-awaited sem break is here !

Nothing excited about this break as the Melbourne plan most probably has to call off due to some reason. And I've to major assignments to hand-in after the break. So by hook or by crook, I still have to stay at home to complete them. Unfortunately, one of them is a group assignment which I hate the most. A group of five, from different cultures and backgrounds thou all are asians. Hope that we wouldn't have any communication barriers and can cooperate to at least produce something good @.@.

Fell sick in the first day of the break, down with flu and sorethroat like again !  And had high-fever during that night, worst feeling ever as I was sweating in the middle of the night. So in the end, had to cancel the plan of visiting Watson Bay for the very first time. Hmm, hope I can still visit there during the break ....



Have to do some catch up for all the units before it's too late. It gotta be another hard one right after the semester commences ! Life ain't easy !!! Have to enjoy while completing the tasks before uni starts again. Ughh, have forgotten what to write in this post, so just crap something out of nothing.


只是想说:把旧的博客给上锁,不是因为懦弱更不是害怕面对自己的过去。只是觉得做人有必要学会放下,这样未来的路才会变得更踏实。


变 是唯一的不变!

现实生活中,我们周围的人时时刻刻都在变。问题是,你有察觉吗?

Sunday, April 7, 2013

New


I don't know what to say ~
I don't know how to say ~

I find it hard, hard  to express myself , my real feelings. Language is a problem, grammatical errors would be another plus I'm not expressive at all. And it is actually getting worst I think. I know it's kinda joke in the eyes of my relatives, yes laugh out loud. I was labelled as the quiet one in class recently, and the lecturer aka tutor even doubt whether I understood the contents as I showed her the face of my innocence. LOL. So not me, it's just not me. And I didn't even know how to response to her, coz it never happens before I guess. Just a smile, but I think it's really hard for me to smile in this awkward situation.

Somehow I think I lost the enthusiasm in blogging. Sometimes I have got so many things to tell, but I just don't have the time and the kick to write. But when I do have it, I normally ended up writing nothing. This is life, life goes on.




Loner is still lonely.

Due to some personal reasons, such as there're too much of immature aka childish posts in the past,
I've actually decided to lock up all my past posts. They're locked indeed. They should only be visible and remembered by me, haha. But I can't guarantee that maturity level of my state of mind in the future posts. However, I'd retained the blog's link, so I will continue to write it here. This is somehow my NEW blog, not a new life but may be a turning point of my life. No, nothing to announce to the world but taking the baby steps, trying hard to express myself.




Don't pray for life to be easy, but pray for yourself to be strong.